confused4231 Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 (edited) Me and my ex were dating for 8 months and already living together. We had a couple of arguments here or there but never anything major, we went golfing with some friends, apparently I am not as affectionate as some of my friends. The next day she starts asking me if I'm Happy? Because she says that she's not. She feels like I'm pushing her away and that every time we were with my friends it seemed like to her that I was ashamed of her. I tried telling her I wasn't had a conversation and she says she has a lot of mixed feelings and needs Time and Space, and that she wants me to think about whether I really want her and her daughter in my life. First two weeks its very hot and cold one day she's texting me telling me she misses me and the next when I do the same she either ignored me or she'd say she needed more space. The week after, she text me a couple times "hey" "good night" "i miss scaring you" and I ignored her. Third day she says "good night again" about 30 mins later I still hadn't replied and she she comes at me with "So what are we not talking anymore?" (In my head I'm thinking I thought this is what you wanted?) but I waited and simply responded that I was busy and told her to sleep well. So week 4 rolls along and she texts asking if she can use my HBOGO account, we texted back and forth about Game of Thrones for the night. That was about two weeks ago and that's the last time we had talked about two and half weeks ago... Over that time period she liked a couple of my pictures I posted on Facebook. Yesterday I like a couple of pictures she he had posted and then she blocked me... I really don't understand whats going on. Why is it okay for her to like stuff on my facebook but its not okay for me to like hers? Did I do something wrong? Did she do because she doesn't want me to contact her or because she doesn't want to contact me? I guess time and space means Facebook and social media too. Also this past weekend she texts me and says Sorry I havent picked up my mail (Shes been receiving mail since she moved out still but she says she doesnt know why because she changed her address). I told her not to worry and asked if she also wanted to the rest of her stuff back...(She left her microwave and pots and pans and some movies) she asked "Why? are you not using them? My reply was that I just figured she could get all her stuff so I dont bother her anymore. Again she responds "lol, you dont bother me, why do you say that?" I finally told her that its because shes been so hot and cold towards me since we broke up, I explained about how shes been when she tries to contact me vs when I reach out to her. She just said "I'm Sorry" My last reply was "Its Fine, Hope all is Well" and she said "Same to you". I still love this girl. Its been almost 7 weeks now and I cant stop thinking about her. Ive been going out with my friends, even went sky diving but I dont understand why shes blocking me, why she reaches out and then backs away, Why she's still getting mail, Why she doesnt just come get her stuff. I guess I feel weak minded also for not just telling her to come get it. I mean should I do that? Edited July 21, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs
irresolute Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 Seems she's interested as long as you seem unavailable. She doesn't love you. I'm really sorry. She likes Pl laying games and seems you just cave in because you do have feelings for her. Go no contact and move on. She'll for sure go crazy but keep in mind she just wants an ego boost from you. I'm really sorry. You deserve better, for sure.
Tbisb74 Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 Nice rubber band she has you on, there..... go away...come back....go away... come back. Holy Mackerel, aren't you getting fed up with this? I was cheesed off with her just reading about it! There is a pair of scissors I would seriously advise you to use.... It's called "The No Contact Guide" ....You can find it on the breaking up forum, right at the top. It's pinned, so you can't miss it.
Zahara Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 (edited) You had a break-up. Treat it as a break-up. And that means, the one that has ended, has decided to exit the relationship because it isn't working for them anymore -- and not it's working for me when I want to tug on the leash and it's not when I couldn't be bothered. As a woman, I find it highly unattractive when a man behaves like a doormat. Get your backbone in a upright postion. Stop hunching over and feeling sorry for yourself and behaving in a subservient manner. You don't allow a woman to toy with you this way. It's either a break-up or it's not. She either wants to foster a relationship with you or she's out. You know why she keeps her stuff there? Like a dog marking it's territory. She doesn't want to be with you but she certainly uses you as a fallback for the attention she needs. Keeping you in the corner with her pots and pans so she knows the lifeline is still available if she needs it. Playing hide and seek on FB to keep you curious and affected. Manipulative. Man up. Pack her things and send it back to her. You should never let anyone dangle a freaking carrot infront of your face. The game ends. And you need to set your boundaries straight and don't allow her to give you a mind phukk every two weeks. Edited July 21, 2014 by Zahara 1
eyey Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 I'm in a very similar situation with my ex. This hot and cold thing has been driving me nuts for sure for last 4-5weeks as she gave me all sorts of mixed signals and she didn't seem like she knows what she wants. Better yet, I spent whole week with her, and at the end it blew up in front of my face..basically. I dont think i can offer an advise or anything to you, but I was going to tell you that somebody else is almost in the same mess and struggling.. I know that to go NC might be the best idea at this point, but I gave myself little time before going NC all the way. Because our relationship was collapsed due to lack of my effort and lack of communication, and NC seems to enforce those 2 things I didnt offer in our relationship. But who knows... maybe i'm doign this all wrong. but I just didnt want to regret. Hanging there man!
Tbisb74 Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 I know that to go NC might be the best idea at this point, Not 'might'....'IS'. but I gave myself little time before going NC all the way. Because our relationship was collapsed due to lack of my effort and lack of communication, and NC seems to enforce those 2 things I didnt offer in our relationship. No. This is just your excuse to keep talking to her. She broke up with you, but you're lapping up the attention like a kicked puppy. Going NC is final, but it makes sense. But only if you see sense. But who knows... maybe i'm doign this all wrong. but I just didnt want to regret.No 'maybe' about it. You WILL regret having hung on so long for so little reward in return. Google 'where to buy a spine' and invest in a good one. Amazon might do them....
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