music_and_poetry Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 Hello my lovely LS friends, I am hoping for some feedback as my emotions seem to be all over the place today. For those of you who aren't up to date on my situation... today officially marks 1 month of NC. Happy to say I haven't broken NC or budged on this! Yay for willpower! My situation is a bit unique to everyone else's (and quite honestly it makes me feel pathetic) because this guy was never my boyfriend. We were dating exclusively for 3 months seeing eachother 1-2 times per week. I thought things were going great and I really liked him (if I didn't, I wouldn't have been so hurt!) but anyways, NC has given me the distance to realize that this guy wasn't ready for a commitment. Not from me, and I don't think he's ready for one from anyone. He was in a serious relationship for 5 years (that he ended in May 2013) and had been on a few dates with different girls until we met. I really think he just wants to permedently be dating. Around the 3 month mark of us dating exclusively, I tried asking how he felt and that's when he told me he didn't think a serious relationship would be the best thing. I told him it was messed up to string me along and told him to take care. Have been no contact since. Realizing just now that maybe I was the dumper? I don't really know. Either way, I really gave this guy my heart and best effort, I'm implementing NC just like all of you because I really do think it's what I need. I've made some nice strides in NC: -Starting a new instrument (ukulele) -Teaching myself a new language -Finding a new job for September -Becoming a lead singer of a local rock band -Belly Dancing Lessons (my favorite new hobby!) -Working Out -Starting some medication to heal my acne -Joining POF in an attempt to move on Based on this list ^ it really does seem like I'm doing better without him aren't I? But I still have good and bad days. I still think about him and wonder if he even cared about me at all. I wonder if I'll ever get an apology. In other words, I don't think I'm 100% over it yet. I'm really, really trying though. Here's where I need support/advice/etc... I joined the website POF without much expectation. To my surprise, I've actually been talking to some pretty cool people. One guy in particular, I've been talking to non-stop for about two weeks. He's two years younger than me and is in the air force. All our messages have been really positive and he makes me LAUGH and smile He just seems like a really good person. Anyways, I agreed to meet with him tonight (he is driving over an hour out here to meet me for dinner) because there seems to be a connection between us. The problem is, I am still a little stuck on the same jerk face who crushed me before and I hate myself for it. I am confused. Why am I having such a hard time moving on? Why can't I see I deserve better than someone that didn't even want me? What is wrong with me? I know I want to meet this guy, I'm just a little scared of putting myself out there again when I'm still reeling from the last experience. Does anyone have any experience with this? Any words of wisedom?
Author music_and_poetry Posted July 22, 2014 Author Posted July 22, 2014 So I went out with the new guy tonight and it wasn't as terrible as I thought it might be. We had a nice dinner and a really nice time. He seems like a total sweetheart and very easygoing. Unfortunately, I'm not sure if I feel much of an attraction to him. I might give him a second date because we did have a nice time tonight but still not sure. Baby steps
exhausted1 Posted July 22, 2014 Posted July 22, 2014 That is great to hear! I don't think 1 month is that long with regards to getting over heartbreak. Eventually, your emotional attachment to him will gradually weaken and the thoughts of him become less frequent. At least that's what I keep telling myself. If you're having fun with a new guy, it's at least keeping you busy and must feel like a good ego booster even if it doesn't pan out. Keep it up!
Author music_and_poetry Posted July 22, 2014 Author Posted July 22, 2014 That is great to hear! I don't think 1 month is that long with regards to getting over heartbreak. Eventually, your emotional attachment to him will gradually weaken and the thoughts of him become less frequent. At least that's what I keep telling myself. If you're having fun with a new guy, it's at least keeping you busy and must feel like a good ego booster even if it doesn't pan out. Keep it up! Yes that's what I'm hoping too ^ I mean, this isn't my first break-up and I've survived more traumatic experiences. That gives me hope that this too shall pass. I'm just at this weird point where I know I deserve better and I hate myself for still wanting him. Ugh!
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