brandy21 Posted February 22, 2005 Posted February 22, 2005 about two months ago i found naked pictures of women on my fiances computer. When I confronted him about it he seemed like he was truly sorry and said he would never do anything like that again... well now, a few days ago I found out he was looking at pictures of this female he knows from work....... she is a philadelphia eagles cheerleader and posed in the lingerie calender. the girls are barely clothed!!! This pisses me off even more than the naked photos because this is someone he personally knows!! He said that he was just curious if she really did pose because him and antoher guy didnt believe her.... WHO CARES IF SHE POSED OR NOT.... he shouldnt have cared enough to go and look!!! What do you think??>
tattoomytoe Posted February 22, 2005 Posted February 22, 2005 that is disrespectful....even moreso that he knows the girl.
indie68 Posted February 23, 2005 Posted February 23, 2005 Girl, I completely understand, why is it that men don't get it? That is so completely disrespectful. I don't know if it complete oblivion, or that that men play stupid.
glitter-gal Posted February 23, 2005 Posted February 23, 2005 Yes it is disrespectful for him to promise you one thing and do another!! Also though if I put myself in your position... I would be asking myself at what point am I letting my jealousy take over?? I understand being hurt and disrespected but I would be jealous of my man looking at one of his female friends nearly naked... it would also make me question his motives for looking at these pics. My advice is to deal with your hurt from being disrespected without letting the jealousy factor take too big a part. (If that is at all possible) Then again most men like seeing thier woman get a little jealous and maybe that makes him a bit more secure in your relationship?? Most men do things to get a rise out of someone... is your man like that?
ttjames Posted February 23, 2005 Posted February 23, 2005 He said that he was just curious if she really did pose because him and antoher guy didnt believe her That sounds like a good enough reason.. Would you be interested in seeing a guy that you knew from high school/ college etc.. if they were a chip and dale, or some new hot top model?? Wouldn't you be curious if it was true or not??
Pocky Posted February 23, 2005 Posted February 23, 2005 I don't think it's a big deal. Hell, I'd probably even look if I found out someone I worked with had posed for a calendar.
EC Posted February 23, 2005 Posted February 23, 2005 Hell, I'd probably even look if I found out someone I worked with had posed for a calendar. I agree I don't think its that big a deal I wouldve looked too.
tiki Posted February 23, 2005 Posted February 23, 2005 I'd let him slide. Can you forward us a link? Just kiddin.
Author brandy21 Posted February 23, 2005 Author Posted February 23, 2005 thank you everyone for your advice. I am trying to not let it get to me, but I can't help how I feel ya know? I guess i just expect my man to be perfect because I have never done anything behind his back that I thought would hurt him, and I just wish he had that same respect for me. I told him that for one month i am letting him go out and do whatever he wants... strip clubs, porn, magazines....anything! But that means we arent going to be intimate for this month... i want him to realize that he should appreciate what he has and not take me for granted. I know it may sound extreme but i think it will open his eyes a lil bit. Cuz I refuse to live with someone that needs to look at other women for satisfaction. Not like it should matter what i look like .... but i am a very attractive girl and i guess i just dont understand why he would need to look at any other women.
alphamale Posted February 23, 2005 Posted February 23, 2005 Originally posted by brandy21 What do you think??> I think you are somewhat insecure if you are threatened by a two dimensional picture of scantily clad females.
kellyp1 Posted February 24, 2005 Posted February 24, 2005 I agree with Alphamale. I grew up in a house of all boys. They will either look when you are not paying attention or be open about the fact that they appreciate the beauty of another woman. I, as a fairly attractive, intelligent female, don't really let it get to me. I read somewhere once that men and women tend to check out women as there are just so many more variables on a female to see. More choices with hair, makeup, outfits, etc. As for the girl from his work, she said that wanting him to look and he looked. I too would look, being curious. You don't meet people like that all the time. No harm, no foul. If you keep blowing up regarding little stuff like this, he is just going to keep it from you because he obviously enjoys it. Either stop trying to change him and accept it or find someone that does meet your higher moral ground. Life is really about making yourself happy.
westernxer Posted February 24, 2005 Posted February 24, 2005 Guys can't help but look at women. That's something that'll never change, and it seems that married guys look more than single guys. Just don't break his balls too severely, unless you plan to emasculate him afterward. You do want him to be a man, don't you? Oh yeah, if you're expecting perfection, brace yourself, because you're only going to hurt yourself in the long run, even though you'll end up blaming him for everything that went wrong. No one's perfect, least of all you, despite the work you put into looking like the perfect gal. When you fall, it's going to hurt a helluva lot worse than it should, because you refuse to accept the margin of error that's standard with each factory-warranted human being. You're only deluding yourself, and it's gonna kill you. Reminds me of... forget it.
latesleeper Posted February 24, 2005 Posted February 24, 2005 Originally posted by brandy21 thank you everyone for your advice. I am trying to not let it get to me, but I can't help how I feel ya know? I guess i just expect my man to be perfect because I have never done anything behind his back that I thought would hurt him, and I just wish he had that same respect for me. I told him that for one month i am letting him go out and do whatever he wants... strip clubs, porn, magazines....anything! But that means we arent going to be intimate for this month... i want him to realize that he should appreciate what he has and not take me for granted. I know it may sound extreme but i think it will open his eyes a lil bit. Cuz I refuse to live with someone that needs to look at other women for satisfaction. Not like it should matter what i look like .... but i am a very attractive girl and i guess i just dont understand why he would need to look at any other women. I say you know what you want and you should address your needs. I know men look. Women look too, but somehow looking affects both genders differently. Everyone has a different tolerance level. The most important concern here is your own level of tolerance. If it bothers you and you tell him about it and ask him not to do so, please, or let you know when he does and you can look together (so you can verify it's nothing else), or whatever rules you want to set up to feel comfortable with. Let him know and if he still does it, well, you have something to talk about. It's one thing to do something when you don't know it hurt the other person, but it's another to do so when you know it hurts the other person. If you're insecure, you are insecure. Think about why. Speak to your man. You gotta know what each other's triggers are, and help each other, ya know? Easier said than done, I know. Just want to wish you good luck!
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