katielousie20 Posted February 22, 2005 Posted February 22, 2005 Hey guys, the background to me is, i met my boyfriend at work and started dating, more or less straight away, and after 6months he moved in with me and my family due to his own family problems. we were so happy, but i knew he wouldn’t wanna live with me forever with us only both been 19. February last year he moved out without any warning signs he told me on the Saturday and went on the Sunday. I was completely devastated, once he had gone i felt lost, we were still together but we had shared so much living together. Everything went downhill, i got NC from him even though there was no break up he just wanted to be with the lads, even thouh he still had me. i felt a bit lost as i don’t have much confidence. In novemeber when i turned 20 he moved back in as he was having problems in the house with his 3 mates. And i thought everything was ok. over the past month there has been very little communication between us even though he was living with me. He was coming to bed at 1-3am and not paying any attention to me. No cuddles or kisses etc.... that got me thinking and been worried and paranoid but i never mentioned it to him so we kept on as we were. I went away this weekend with my family leaving him to look after our house. I knew things hadn’t been going so well but over a few txts he told me he was leaving to go to his mums as he needs time away from me and wants to be on his own. He ruined my weekend and I told him to pack his things and leave his key. I was absolutely crumpled again. He has left me and I feel like im lost again, I dunno what to do. My room is covered with stuff he gave me and im still wearing the ring he bought me for my 19th birthday. It was only on Sunday that he txt me and left, so I dunno what to think. He still txted me yesterday seeing if iwas ok, and told me that hes there if I wanna talk and he still loves and cares for me. But why did he leave me? I need some help coping. as he keeps everything to himself and rather talks to me via texting which isnt good. and were meeting tonight to talk, i feel so low and unhappy but i dont want to show him thins, as hes been out the past two nights! Help! Thanx x
greenhorn Posted February 22, 2005 Posted February 22, 2005 Hey Katie.... i have read your story but i find it difficult to say smth to you ..hmm unique situation i must say ..sure there would be others chipping in with their replies. I just wish to say that whether in love or not in love its bad idea to give someone else control of your life.Its good to trust someone in love but you should not expose yourself too much i mean wear your protection.At this point to me it seems that he does what he wishes to do, when he wants to come back he comes, when he wish to leave he leaves...though he might be loving you but this is not the proper way to behave. Actions speaks louder than words so his love should manifest itself in actions.Well you are too young also but as you grow up you become wiser and mature and all these pains are like growing up pains... so just hang in there and dont feel bad... hmm..i feel like drinking a glass of coke but i have none in my refrigerator now..care to pass little coke Good Luck dear.... cheers..
Author katielousie20 Posted February 22, 2005 Author Posted February 22, 2005 Hey, Its hard to say something int it? Well he drove me home from work tonight, and it is completely over, so im all on myown and feeling like ****. thanks for your reply though x
greenhorn Posted February 22, 2005 Posted February 22, 2005 Originally posted by katielousie20 Hey, Its hard to say something int it? Well he drove me home from work tonight, and it is completely over, so im all on myown and feeling like ****. thanks for your reply though x sorry but i didnt get the real meaning..i think your fight with him is over and now you are happy.is that what you mean..??
Author katielousie20 Posted February 22, 2005 Author Posted February 22, 2005 i dunno what to think. i wanted to work things out with him but i sat and asked him what was up and how it all went wrong and his answer to every question was i dunno. i wanted to make a go and sort things out. ive never been with someone so long and now im all on my own again
greenhorn Posted February 22, 2005 Posted February 22, 2005 Oh..ok i thought he came to pick you from work and you both went together and things were sorted out. Ok whatever be the outcome i would suggest you one thing dont make yourself further weak and try to be strong.Having said this i dont mean to say that your relationship will end, Infact i would be happy if everthing ends well but i guess it is better to be proactive. Dont raise your hopes too much or put so much stress on the outcome.Try to take things as they come and dont set any parameters to accept the outcome. Talk to him and see if he comes up with his problem but if he wants to walk out of it then there is no way for you and i think its then that you should give up and take control of your life in your hand. Good Luck
Author katielousie20 Posted February 22, 2005 Author Posted February 22, 2005 well thanks again. but when we spoke in the car, we said the relationship was completely over, as in never getting back together. So im gonna have to try and forget and carry on. I see him everyday at work, so thats gonna be hard, and he has stuff to get from my house. I'll try to stay focused on forgetting.
greenhorn Posted February 22, 2005 Posted February 22, 2005 Oh i am sorry Katie... Well there are numerous posts here about how to forget and move on ...and i guess the first thing to do is NC i mean NO CONTACT.Initially it hurts but thats the only way to move on ..without NC you will dangle on the false hope of reconciliation when it is not there. Well go and meet your friends,develop your iterests once again make yourself busy again, think about your well being, may be go out for shopping and buy yourself a new dress and be happy.It would be difficult to be happy but atleast you can pretend to be happy and with passage of time the pain will become less and you would meet somoene whom you can love and trust and who woudl love you equally. Dont worry you would be fine one day, it happens to everyone and it has happened to everyone at LS so just try to hang in there,gather your courage think positively and say to yourself that you are not going to let yourself down. We all are here to help you come out of this..... Good Luck dear and keep posting.
Recommended Posts