emotionsmessmeup Posted February 22, 2005 Posted February 22, 2005 ok so therez this guy..i not seeing seeing but seeing.. he is 32...and in october and november he dated this girl for about 6 weeks... he fell head over heels for her... i met him on new years..we try to meet every weekend.. so far havent done it but we might... the thing is i know he hasnt gotten over her... and he keeps saying she was so nice..so cool...its sad we just had 6 weeks together... he doesnt talk about her too much with me... on the other hand..my relationship with him is sweet..sensual..sexy... very very casual... we like each other...but we are more like friends with benefits... he once told me...."do u realize we are both on a break?" and i was like yea... anyway...its about march now..wht do i do...give him lotsa space... what do i do..to make him feel better..and so that he can stop thinking of the B*** and get over her... and what do i do to go deeper into his life..?
Merin Posted February 22, 2005 Posted February 22, 2005 1) He's told you he's hung up on someone else.. uh.. this is never a good thing. 2) He told you him and this girl are on a *break* sounds more like he's waiting for her to open the door and let him back in.. so he's just chillin at *your place* for a bit so to speak.. 3) You met him in Jan.. now it's almost March and he's still waiting it out on this other girl.. so yeah.. Honestly there isn't anything you can do to *help him* get over this girl.. he doesn't want to get over her. If you're hoping for something more with this guy then for real.. I would let him know you like him, you like spending time with him.. but you're not down for FWB or being his back up plan.. keep a friendship with him if you want.. but unless or until HE DECIDES he's ready to move on (past the other girl) my guess is your fighting a loosing battle. Good Luck
Author emotionsmessmeup Posted February 22, 2005 Author Posted February 22, 2005 well now its no longer a break..its break off between them... i cant handle any more than FWB right now coz i just got out of a relationship too.. but i do care for him and i want him to move on... thats all...... for the first time i told him the other day...she was a fool to leave u...if a guy were in luv with me the way u are with her..i wudnt have doubt at all....
tattoomytoe Posted February 22, 2005 Posted February 22, 2005 well stop having sex with him for one. you are saying one thing but doing another(him! haha), so your actions are contradicting your words. if you are on a "break", then break, do not sleep with some other guy and think it will not confuse the feelings you still have for an ex, and importantly feelings he still has for an ex.
Merin Posted February 22, 2005 Posted February 22, 2005 Originally posted by emotionsmessmeup well now its no longer a break..its break off between them... i cant handle any more than FWB right now coz i just got out of a relationship too.. but i do care for him and i want him to move on... thats all...... for the first time i told him the other day...she was a fool to leave u...if a guy were in luv with me the way u are with her..i wudnt have doubt at all.... Sorry, but this is all very contradicting.. You're saying all you want with this guy is FWB.. BUT you want him to move on past his GF.. Do you see how that is a mixed message? IF all you're wanting is FWB, then you wouldn't be concerned IF he gets over this other girl or not.. My 3 1/2 cents.
Author emotionsmessmeup Posted February 22, 2005 Author Posted February 22, 2005 first i havent yet had sex with him yet..hez been wanting to...but i havent been able to. i guess we are giving into attraction here... FWB btu everyone knows i am girl...treats me like i am his girl...he does too when we are together... but its just that i know he is still trying to get over his ex... and i care for him, like him..same from his side..but we both know its not serious.. but him being the dumpee...i want him to heal..
Merin Posted February 22, 2005 Posted February 22, 2005 Originally posted by emotionsmessmeup first i havent yet had sex with him yet..hez been wanting to...but i havent been able to. i guess we are giving into attraction here... FWB btu everyone knows i am girl...treats me like i am his girl...he does too when we are together... but its just that i know he is still trying to get over his ex... and i care for him, like him..same from his side..but we both know its not serious.. but him being the dumpee...i want him to heal.. Wh t? What do you mean he treats you like you're HIS GIRL? He told you he is hung up on someone else.. he also told you (even if it was initially) that he is on a *break* from his girlfriend.. YOU yourself have told him you KNOW he loves this other girl.. so yeah.. see that isn't the way someone treats thier SO or even a person they have an interest in having a relationship with.. IF my BF was telling me how he was in love with someone else blah blah.. yeah I wouldn't think even for a minute that he looked at me like his GF or romantic relationship.. the word that would come to mind is rebound... It's awesome that you care about him.. and nice that he cares about you.. but bottomline IMO is he ISN'T over his GF, he ISN'T ready to move on.. and there ISN'T anything YOU can do to *speed up the process* I would just hate to see you get wrapped up in something hoping for more.. only for things to turn into a rebound deal...
Author emotionsmessmeup Posted February 22, 2005 Author Posted February 22, 2005 ill just give him tons of space...
Merin Posted February 22, 2005 Posted February 22, 2005 Originally posted by emotionsmessmeup ill just give him tons of space... Okay.. Good Luck
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