Valkyria Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 So I'm having some issues with my boyfriend's roommate. I stay there most weekends, and it's absolutely wonderful when the roommate is at work or asleep (he works weird hours). When he's home and awake, though, it's like he ALWAYS wants to do things with us, and then it usually turns into him trying to get my guy to play video games with him ALL THE TIME. Hell, I'd be down to play if we could do a 3-player thing, but there's always some reason that that can't happen -- according to the roommate. I'm really trying NOT to be ridiculous here because they're friends, and they've lived together a while. I'm the new thing getting in between how they've always done things since they lived together, and I get that, and the roomie isn't dating anyone. I have no interest in trying to get between him and any of his friends -- just sometimes, I feel a little left out here! This is really a small thing in what has, so far, been wonderful. I've just been noticing it happening more recently, and I'd have no problem approaching the subject with him, but I don't want to be unreasonable or sound controlling. It's just when I'm there, I'd really like to be included in what he does instead of sitting off in a corner playing Bejeweled and talking to the cats...
TheyCallMeOx Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 So I'm having some issues with my boyfriend's roommate. I stay there most weekends, and it's absolutely wonderful when the roommate is at work or asleep (he works weird hours). When he's home and awake, though, it's like he ALWAYS wants to do things with us, and then it usually turns into him trying to get my guy to play video games with him ALL THE TIME. Hell, I'd be down to play if we could do a 3-player thing, but there's always some reason that that can't happen -- according to the roommate. I'm really trying NOT to be ridiculous here because they're friends, and they've lived together a while. I'm the new thing getting in between how they've always done things since they lived together, and I get that, and the roomie isn't dating anyone. I have no interest in trying to get between him and any of his friends -- just sometimes, I feel a little left out here! This is really a small thing in what has, so far, been wonderful. I've just been noticing it happening more recently, and I'd have no problem approaching the subject with him, but I don't want to be unreasonable or sound controlling. It's just when I'm there, I'd really like to be included in what he does instead of sitting off in a corner playing Bejeweled and talking to the cats... I understand where you're coming from, and I respect you for respecting a bromance. Bromances can be quite strong and you've really gotta watch what you do around that kind of stuff. From my experiences dealing with dudes and video games, we sweat testosterone when we play video games with each other. We playfully compete with each other, and things can get pretty intense. From my experience, men don't like it when women play because a lot of the time, the women suck and they're more like obstacles in the way. I know that when guys play, especially competitively, there's a lot of concentration and they don't like to be disturbed. Women who aren't very good at video games tend to complain when they die, or whatever the case may be, becoming a distraction. I guess that's why you end up in a corner playing a game of your own, or talking to animals. I'm sure there's been a point where you asked one of them a question, and they'd either totally ignore you, or answer the question incorrectly. "I want to have a threesome. Can I have a threesome with you guys?" "No, I don't have any turkey bacon." If you really want to play video games with the dude, you gotta have the dude mentality like you're "one of them." You gotta know how to play the game, first and foremost, you gotta be good, and sometimes you have to take things a little bit serious. Otherwise, you'll just be a distraction when they're on their game mode. In order to win their hearts, you can cheat: buy them a video game that you know you all will enjoy, and that you know you can do. Make sure they're interested in it too, though. Surprise them. You'll get some huge gaming foreplay that way. Of course, I don't know them personally so I can only tell you from my personal experience.
Eivuwan Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 It might be better to set up dates to go outside instead of hanging around his apartment. You also won't have the roommate issue. 3
leavesonautumn Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 How long have you and your boyfriend been together? Sounds like something a good friend of mine went through about a year ago after dating her boyfriend for a few months. Her boyfriend's best friend was actually showing signs of jealousy any time my friend and her boyfriend would spend any time with together. The way she solved the issue was to slowly become friends with his best friend. It took a while but he eventually came around and would spend time with the both of them. It sounds like you and your boyfriend have recently started dating (correct me if I'm wrong) and you just need to let him get used to you being around. Be friendly and nice to him and try to avoid causing a rift between them. Watch them play together and slowly get into it. I'm into playing video games as well and have noticed that MOST men will think you suck just because you're a woman. Time to show them up .
Els Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 1) What game exactly are they playing? So we can tell you whether it genuinely can't take 3 players, or whether he's talking out his arse. 2) Do you spend your entire weekend together hanging around the house? Why don't you go out for dates? 3) How long have you been together?
Els Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 I'm into playing video games as well and have noticed that MOST men will think you suck just because you're a woman. Time to show them up . No kidding. The last tourney I played in, my team beat the first-place team (we eventually came in third) because they got cocky and drafted a rather stupid show-offy lineup. That being said, I don't think the OP should necessarily HAVE to do all that just to be able to spend time with her boyfriend. It would be a pretty poor prognosis for their relationship if the only way for her to spend time with him is to learn to play the game that he and his roommate play. 2
Author Valkyria Posted July 21, 2014 Author Posted July 21, 2014 Thanks for the responses, guys! To answer some of your questions: 1) We've been together a bit over three months now. 2) Yeah we definitely do stuff besides JUST hang out at the house, but it's like in the mornings or late at night. Like I said, he works really strange hours... 3) I'm a pretty badass gamer, actually. I'm a little out of the new stuff, but MMOs were my thing. They play a lot of FPS games, and I'm not AS good at those, but I'm far from sucking and whining when I die...I'd rather be kicking ass 4) A variety of games. I think the most recent one was one of the Borderlands games. They said they could only do more than 2 players with a system link, but that would've been totally doable since they have enough TVs and 2 systems. Boyfriend suggested it and was totally up for it. Roommate said it would be too much work....found out later they did that EXACT thing when one of the roommate's friends and one of their mutual friends came over later that night... 5) I'm trying to be friends with him! I was the one who invited him to do some stuff with us this weekend! I'll keep trying to stay at it, but I don't know what else to do, really. Thanks again, everyone
d0nnivain Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 The roommate may be afraid he's losing his BFF. Find out for sure if 3 player games are possible. Give some balance to the roommate so he doesn't feel left out all the time but still have enough couple time for your & your BF
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