labellee Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 i've noticed that i get attached to guys that i don't even really like. particuarly the last guy that i dated; after each date i would come home and tell my friends that i was quite turned off by him and his behavior. i kept going along with it for some reason though. and now that i'm realizing that it should come to an end, i'm having trouble letting go. any tips on how to prevent this from happening? and any insight into why it happens? i think i was always prone to this, but it's particularly bad right now at this point in my life. i just got out of a 7 year long relationship so that probably has a lot to do with it.
Emilia Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 If you come from a broken home or have an alcoholic as a parent, that might have something to do with that. It means you were socialised to deal with very difficult people that didn't reciprocate all your affections and you got used to 'working on' bad connections. It can also be of course that you are really lonely after the end of that 7 year relationship. In which case this is just a phase. 1
Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 I completely understand. I use to be like that. I was single for a long, long , long time and so a part of me didn't want to be " abandoned" again. Especially because I had fallen in love unrequitedly so many times, and so that weird " abandoned" feeling would re-emerge. I would just cling on because the idea of being left alone was too painful. So even though I knew I wasn't attracted to the men I was with or dated, I would just " go along with it" saying to friends " I'm taking it slow" but deep down knowing " I didn't feel anything for the guy I was with" I justified it in so many ways like " chemistry and attraction grows" and " I'm no Natalie Portman or Anna Paquin or whoever is hot and wanted these days...No super model is what I meant. I thought well, he likes me! finally! a guy that wants to be with me and take me out on dates and spoil me! finally! But I knew deep down these people weren't people I were attracted to. I just talked myself into it. Don't do what I did, and talk yourself into feeling something your heart can't and break it off diplomatically. The longer you leave it the harder it gets. 1
gaius Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 If only you could see the nutcases I get attatched to. =/ 1
Haydn Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 Why am i not surprised. You should settle down with a nice Welsh Girl. Quiet nights in Bangor. If only you could see the nutcases I get attatched to. =/ 1
Author labellee Posted July 21, 2014 Author Posted July 21, 2014 If you come from a broken home or have an alcoholic as a parent, that might have something to do with that. It means you were socialised to deal with very difficult people that didn't reciprocate all your affections and you got used to 'working on' bad connections. It can also be of course that you are really lonely after the end of that 7 year relationship. In which case this is just a phase. this makes a lot of sense to me. i moved around a lot. both of my parents were not there for me emotionally and were separated for 6 years. i actually spent a lot of my time thinking about my dad and how unhappy he must be in the context of our family dynamics. now i'm realizing that my parents didn't feel that way at all about 12 year old me and that there's something really backwards about that.
Author labellee Posted July 21, 2014 Author Posted July 21, 2014 If only you could see the nutcases I get attatched to. =/ hahahahaha, this really made me laugh! the last guy was a serious nutso; there were times where i felt legit fear around him. not because i thought he'd hurt me but because he seemed really really unbalanced. there was just something that made me feel like some serious crazy was brewing underneath. it also doesn't help that i'm very blunt and sarcastic and am attracted to people who make fun of me because i enjoy the banter. :[
gaius Posted July 22, 2014 Posted July 22, 2014 Why am i not surprised. You should settle down with a nice Welsh Girl. Quiet nights in Bangor. All I know about welsh girls is Michael Douglas got throat cancer from having sex with one. =/ hahahahaha, this really made me laugh! the last guy was a serious nutso; there were times where i felt legit fear around him. not because i thought he'd hurt me but because he seemed really really unbalanced. there was just something that made me feel like some serious crazy was brewing underneath. it also doesn't help that i'm very blunt and sarcastic and am attracted to people who make fun of me because i enjoy the banter. :[ Way too many people show their affection by being all nice nowadays. =/
aprilisi Posted July 22, 2014 Posted July 22, 2014 I did that too when I started dating again. I didn't feel it but when he told me he wasn't ready for a relationship then responded to my friend's online ad that he was I got upset. I cried a lot. Said some things I regret. Thinking back I wonder what the hell I was thinking. He wasn't even my type.
Recommended Posts