feverfew Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 Hi, I'm new here. I just ran into my ex. We work in the same office building. I was coming out of the elevators, he walked by me. He stared at me and I sort of made a half smile but he didn't smile back. He looked somewhere between indifferent and angry. His eyes were very cold. I just came back to my desk and sat down and my heart is pounding and I feel sick. Background: we dated for three months and split just over a week ago. I left him because the relationship was volatile and he was emotionally abusive. He kind of pulled the trigger on the break up but I think he could feel me pulling away. He then tried to get me back - he sent several texts telling me how much he loved me, that he felt it could work if I gave it a chance, that nobody had ever made him feel the way I did etc. I replied but I was firm it was over and we have been NC contact for about 5 days now. He has, at this point, respected my wish to be left alone. I just can't get over the look on his face. It seemed in his texts he was wishing me well even though he desperately wanted me back and now I think I see how angry he is with me and it seems he doesn't wish me well at all. Why should I care what he thinks right? He didn't treat me well and although I know he thinks he loves me, it isn't what I think of as love. I'm not sure if I'm asking a question or venting. I just feel so shaky and awful and any words of reassurance would help tremendously. Has anyone been through anything similar?
Ordinaryday Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 Hi, I'm new here. I just ran into my ex. We work in the same office building. I was coming out of the elevators, he walked by me. He stared at me and I sort of made a half smile but he didn't smile back. He looked somewhere between indifferent and angry. His eyes were very cold. I just came back to my desk and sat down and my heart is pounding and I feel sick. Background: we dated for three months and split just over a week ago. I left him because the relationship was volatile and he was emotionally abusive. He kind of pulled the trigger on the break up but I think he could feel me pulling away. He then tried to get me back - he sent several texts telling me how much he loved me, that he felt it could work if I gave it a chance, that nobody had ever made him feel the way I did etc. I replied but I was firm it was over and we have been NC contact for about 5 days now. He has, at this point, respected my wish to be left alone. I just can't get over the look on his face. It seemed in his texts he was wishing me well even though he desperately wanted me back and now I think I see how angry he is with me and it seems he doesn't wish me well at all. Why should I care what he thinks right? He didn't treat me well and although I know he thinks he loves me, it isn't what I think of as love. I'm not sure if I'm asking a question or venting. I just feel so shaky and awful and any words of reassurance would help tremendously. Has anyone been through anything similar? I got dumped by a girl during an incredibly bad period in my life and I needed her support and guidance but nope she decided it was all too hard and left me when I needed her most. she said she would like to stay friends, and obviously I told her no. about six months ago I saw her in the city and before I realised it was her she said "Hi [real name]" to me and before I realised who she was I said "hi" back automatically and by then it was over, she was gone. it caused me so much trouble because she dumped me and the one point I was firm on is that things between us were not 'cool', we were not 'okay' and that I believed she was deserting me. me saying "hi" back automatically might have eased her conscience and this is something I was very firm about not doing. you have no idea how much this bothered me. I only got over it when a few weeks later I saw her walking in the city again, from a distance, and I deliberately and obviously crossed the street to the other side to avoid crossing paths with her.
lollipopspot Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 Well, he probably doesn't wish you well. If he was a jerk, then he's not a very nice guy, but having someone so angry at you is never fun. All you can do is keep moving forward, protect yourself if you think he might do something evil, and try to choose carefully before you become too intimate with someone in the future. This should pass.
sumathi Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 It does feel bad when the person you once loved behaves in a harsh way towards you.But what did you expect from him? Did you want him to interact with you naturally as if nothing happened? Feel happy that he behaved in such a manner as you will never get involved with him again. It would shatter you. Do not think of him and thank your stars that you are done with him. It takes time but gradually you will forget him.
Author feverfew Posted July 21, 2014 Author Posted July 21, 2014 It does feel bad when the person you once loved behaves in a harsh way towards you.But what did you expect from him? Did you want him to interact with you naturally as if nothing happened? Feel happy that he behaved in such a manner as you will never get involved with him again. It would shatter you. Do not think of him and thank your stars that you are done with him. It takes time but gradually you will forget him. Thankyou, you are right. It would shatter me to go back to him. Tonight I texted him and asked if he hated me. I know it was weak. I don't know why I needed his validation. He replied that he does not hate me and could never hate me. He said he needed to fix so many thing in himself and it wasn't my fault. I told him I hoped he got whatever help he needed and that there was a beautiful person in there because I saw it. He sent me a smiley back. I am restarting no contact but I feel so much better.
Author feverfew Posted July 21, 2014 Author Posted July 21, 2014 I got dumped by a girl during an incredibly bad period in my life and I needed her support and guidance but nope she decided it was all too hard and left me when I needed her most. she said she would like to stay friends, and obviously I told her no. about six months ago I saw her in the city and before I realised it was her she said "Hi [real name]" to me and before I realised who she was I said "hi" back automatically and by then it was over, she was gone. it caused me so much trouble because she dumped me and the one point I was firm on is that things between us were not 'cool', we were not 'okay' and that I believed she was deserting me. me saying "hi" back automatically might have eased her conscience and this is something I was very firm about not doing. you have no idea how much this bothered me. I only got over it when a few weeks later I saw her walking in the city again, from a distance, and I deliberately and obviously crossed the street to the other side to avoid crossing paths with her. Ordinaryday, are you saying you couldn't smile or say anything because it was just too hard? I'm sorry you went through this. I guess I'm confused because I felt like I was the one that was wronged in my situation, because he said so many awful things to me.
Ordinaryday Posted July 22, 2014 Posted July 22, 2014 Ordinaryday, are you saying you couldn't smile or say anything because it was just too hard? I'm sorry you went through this. I guess I'm confused because I felt like I was the one that was wronged in my situation, because he said so many awful things to me. I refuse to smile at her or make even 60 seconds of small talk with her because I feel that she deserted me during my time of need and just gave up on me, so I refuse to give her anything back. I dont care if she sees things differently cos nothing will change how I feel.
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