Gaeta Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 Well I just want to stay at home this weekend because I'm going to be absolutely exhausted. I've a got a boxing fight coming up in 2 weeks and my training has been stepped up a lot and I really need to recover on the weekends until the I've had the fight. Pleasssse! It's more work being host at home than it is to just head to a restaurant. If you need to recover then have a nap in the afternoon before eating out. 2
2sunny Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 In all honesty I do feel as if these games I'm playing are counter productive. If I never initiate a text she's going to be feeling pretty down I suppose. But instead of starting a pointless conversation with her like "How was your day?" etc I'll send her a text telling her how I was thinking about our first date when I said something stupid and she couldn't laughing (I'll be more in detail in the message) My heart is telling me to message her but my head is trying to work these games when I know she is already interested in me. The only reason I wanted to start gaming with text is because I couldn't accept that she was too busy this previous weekend to meet up. But she told me exactly what she was doing and where she was, then initiated a text on the sunday letting me know she was sorry she couldn't do something. I now think that I'm pushing this girl away. Sheez Dude - just call her. The texting is so distant and not at all personal enough to instigate a date for me. Anyone can text - it takes no thought or effort. Calling means a man is making the effort to have a REAL conversation with me. Especially if he calls and has something specific to offer - like a date out. And then you will be capable of understanding how she responds. Excited or just making an excuse by a delayed response.
TigerLilly78 Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 Well I just want to stay at home this weekend because I'm going to be absolutely exhausted. I've a got a boxing fight coming up in 2 weeks and my training has been stepped up a lot and I really need to recover on the weekends until the I've had the fight. Well im glad you woke up to the needless game playing that's good! but common now dating is like gardening you have to put in time and hard work to reap the benefits right now not going to lie dude your garden is looking kinda dismal and wilted time to pull out the miracle grow and get things going..lol Even if you make a small effort to meet up for a quick casual dinner that would work and explain your situation and that your next date will be longer...I agree with others a "home date" is to early most sensible respectful women would not feel comfortable on only what 3 dates? "hanging out" at a guys house all night I mean unless you both only want sex then by all means... I don't think your the only guy this girl is dating tbh allot multi date just take a look on these message boards so if that's the case then really its up to you if you want to take the chance of losing her you have to decide if dating is even feasible in your life at the moment I suppose.. 1
Author Rexxy Posted July 22, 2014 Author Posted July 22, 2014 Here I am again, over-thinking and analyzing everything so I need your help to keep me calm and focused. I really appreciate all the help I get from these forums even though I ask a question each day so thankyou. This girl I've been dating is really hard to figure out through text and I'm continuously finding myself questioning her interest. I know it shouldn't get to me this much but I'm only new to it and I've got to start somewhere. (Only coming up to 4th date btw) Anyway, I hadn't texted her over the weekend because we were both quite busy. On sunday she ended up texting me by saying "sorry she didn't get around to messaging me for the weekned since it was quite crazy", we talked about our weekends a bit then moved on and I told her to "let me know what days she was free next week" with her saying "Will do:D" Didn't text text the next day. But today I felt a bit guilty for not really initiating any texts with her so instead of asking any boring questions I decided to remind her of something funny during our first date. "remember on our first date when I asked you if you could see a boat in order for me to find you haha" (I was nervous on the first date and we were having dinner on a harbour where there were literally hundreds of boats haha) Anyway, she saw it at 11:30am in the morning and didn't reply until 6pm with "hahaha I bet you bursted out laughing" (facebook, I can see) That many hours to respond with that? ummmm ok? Did I bring this response time against myself?
Emilia Posted July 22, 2014 Posted July 22, 2014 Games.... rather you than me. I lose my patience with someone who thinks they have to muck me about to keep my interest. Screams of insecurity and to be honest, I have never met a secure, confident person who also played games.
Author Rexxy Posted July 22, 2014 Author Posted July 22, 2014 Games.... rather you than me. I lose my patience with someone who thinks they have to muck me about to keep my interest. Screams of insecurity and to be honest, I have never met a secure, confident person who also played games. Wait you think I'm playing games or her?
Emilia Posted July 22, 2014 Posted July 22, 2014 Wait you think I'm playing games or her? No, she is. Not initiating, delaying response, not responding to a direct question. Either not interested or leaving you hanging. No thanks.
iiiii Posted July 22, 2014 Posted July 22, 2014 I do this to people all the time - I am the champion of losing my phone, misplacing my phone, and intending to reply then realising 6 hours later that I actually didn't do it. Perhaps she's like me. Or, I guess she could be playing games with you, trying to act hard to get.
irc333 Posted July 22, 2014 Posted July 22, 2014 I do this to people all the time - I am the champion of losing my phone, misplacing my phone, and intending to reply then realising 6 hours later that I actually didn't do it. Someone needs to drop you as a friend then.
Author Rexxy Posted July 22, 2014 Author Posted July 22, 2014 No, she is. Not initiating, delaying response, not responding to a direct question. Either not interested or leaving you hanging. No thanks. Yeah I'm not going to be joining in on the games. 1
Author Rexxy Posted July 22, 2014 Author Posted July 22, 2014 I do this to people all the time - I am the champion of losing my phone, misplacing my phone, and intending to reply then realising 6 hours later that I actually didn't do it. Perhaps she's like me. Or, I guess she could be playing games with you, trying to act hard to get. Playing hard to get just makes me want to move on to the next, it's pretty counter productive if that's what she's really doing haha I honestly didn't even know girls play these games as well. Do they really? 1
iiiii Posted July 22, 2014 Posted July 22, 2014 Someone needs to drop you as a friend then. Ha, I guess I'm friends with people who are either similar to me (disorganised!), or who like me enough to overlook my faults. My partner falls in the second category, bless him. 1
Emilia Posted July 22, 2014 Posted July 22, 2014 Do they really? Yeah man, everyone does. It's sad to see it when grown men do. Gets old fast.
Author Rexxy Posted July 22, 2014 Author Posted July 22, 2014 Yeah man, everyone does. It's sad to see it when grown men do. Gets old fast. For god's sake, so when I'm here thinking they've lost interest so I'll just move on to the next they're playing freakin games to try and gain more attention when I'm feeling the complete opposite. Hahaha this is ridiculous. I'm just going to wait till she initiates now. If she doesn't before the weeking im going to find another girl this weekend. Problem solved, I don't have time for games. 2
Assasda Posted July 22, 2014 Posted July 22, 2014 The question is, why are you so riled up about this? You should be as solid as a rock. Dont put all your energy into this man, be as casual as you can be, and everything will be much better for you. In fact, see other women, Do this, and everything will be cake
Author Rexxy Posted July 22, 2014 Author Posted July 22, 2014 The question is, why are you so riled up about this? You should be as solid as a rock. Dont put all your energy into this man, be as casual as you can be, and everything will be much better for you. In fact, see other women, Do this, and everything will be cake I really need to learn to see other woman but I know I'll feel really guilty about doing so because of my personality. Any advice on attempting this? By guilty I mean I would almost feel like I'm cheating, I know it's not but that how I would feel.
irc333 Posted July 22, 2014 Posted July 22, 2014 Yes, I had a male friend admit to this. He would get a phone # from a woman, sometimes they'd even make plans with him (it was originally THEIR idea), and then when he'd call...they'd purposely not return his call. They see it is an act of TRUE interest on the man's part if he takes the role of a stalker and calls her numerous times. Say he calls a 3rd time, leaves a message, then she'll call him back. Friend of mine actually gave up after 1 call and bumped into that very woman at a Meetup. She was irked by the fact he never kept calling her. She saw it as a true sign of TRUE interest if a man calls her repeatedly. It affirmed to her that he was somehow dateworthy. LOL For god's sake, so when I'm here thinking they've lost interest so I'll just move on to the next they're playing freakin games to try and gain more attention when I'm feeling the complete opposite. Hahaha this is ridiculous. I'm just going to wait till she initiates now. If she doesn't before the weeking im going to find another girl this weekend. Problem solved, I don't have time for games.
Emilia Posted July 22, 2014 Posted July 22, 2014 I really need to learn to see other woman but I know I'll feel really guilty about doing so because of my personality. Any advice on attempting this? By guilty I mean I would almost feel like I'm cheating, I know it's not but that how I would feel. I'm the same. What I've developed is a quick way of deciding whether someone is for me. Watching their games, for example. So rather than date multiple people (which isn't common in Europe anyway, outside online dating), I get to know the person fast, watch their reaction, etc. Multi-dating that the other poster suggested isn't really efficient for getting to know anyone properly, in my opinion. It just ensures you don't invest in anyone, therefore more prone to playing games and aloof attitude. Exactly the same thing you are trying to avoid Stay true to yourself and be smart.
Author Rexxy Posted July 22, 2014 Author Posted July 22, 2014 I'm the same. What I've developed is a quick way of deciding whether someone is for me. Watching their games, for example. So rather than date multiple people (which isn't common in Europe anyway, outside online dating), I get to know the person fast, watch their reaction, etc. Multi-dating that the other poster suggested isn't really efficient for getting to know anyone properly, in my opinion. It just ensures you don't invest in anyone, therefore more prone to playing games and aloof attitude. Exactly the same thing you are trying to avoid Stay true to yourself and be smart. Thanks for the advice. I was actually thinking exactly the same about not been able to invest properly into the one person if you're working on multiple people at the exact same time. And I want to avoid the stupid games and ignorant attitude just because they think it creates some extra tension or anticipation it just feels counter productive to me. I'll give her this weekend to see how she's acting then I'll decide if I want to continue or move on to someone that isn't as childish. 1
Assasda Posted July 22, 2014 Posted July 22, 2014 I really need to learn to see other woman but I know I'll feel really guilty about doing so because of my personality. Any advice on attempting this? By guilty I mean I would almost feel like I'm cheating, I know it's not but that how I would feel. I see no reason why you should feel guilty at all. You owe this girl nothing. Youre not married to her, in fact you barely know her personally. - So in the mean time get to know someone else. It will help your confidence and you'll just be better for it. It has nothing to do with personality, you dont have any alterior motive. Youre not seeking anything from these woman, so why feel guilty. If any of them even ask you, you can tell the truth But all this back and fourth worrying is setting you up for just unnecessary heartache, and is not consuming your time productively
irc333 Posted July 22, 2014 Posted July 22, 2014 I was wondering...do we think people are actually playing games when they do this, or are this is just how this particular individual behaves normally? Can we just ASSUME they are playing games? I'm starting to think people are either listening to their friends or reading too many dating self-help E-Books lately.
Author Rexxy Posted July 22, 2014 Author Posted July 22, 2014 I was wondering...do we think people are actually playing games when they do this, or are this is just how this particular individual behaves normally? Can we just ASSUME they are playing games? I'm starting to think people are either listening to their friends or reading too many dating self-help E-Books lately. Or maybe you're playing games by saying we assume we are playing games when we are actually behaving normally but its all just a game??
Author Rexxy Posted July 22, 2014 Author Posted July 22, 2014 I see no reason why you should feel guilty at all. You owe this girl nothing. Youre not married to her, in fact you barely know her personally. - So in the mean time get to know someone else. It will help your confidence and you'll just be better for it. It has nothing to do with personality, you dont have any alterior motive. Youre not seeking anything from these woman, so why feel guilty. If any of them even ask you, you can tell the truth But all this back and fourth worrying is setting you up for just unnecessary heartache, and is not consuming your time productively Yeah that's true but if I'm been physical with this girl like making out a lot, then the next day I meet up with another girl and hook up with her. Seems like im leading them both on and messing with them a bit unfairly. I think I'm more worried that I'll end up hurting them than them hurting me. I'll look into it a bit more though.
Emilia Posted July 22, 2014 Posted July 22, 2014 I was wondering...do we think people are actually playing games when they do this, or are this is just how this particular individual behaves normally? Can we just ASSUME they are playing games? I'm starting to think people are either listening to their friends or reading too many dating self-help E-Books lately. It doesn't matter what you call it. The issue is that it stems from insecurity OR lack of interest. If people aren't comfortable with showing who they are or lack interest, it's not going to work. Regardless what you call it.
Gaeta Posted July 22, 2014 Posted July 22, 2014 Doesn't this woman work between 11 and 6 ? The type of message you sent did not require any time of quick reply. She saw it and thought to herself she will address when she has more free time. Also why did you write to her on FB? Why not a text? You people are on FB 24-7? Next time just say 'how's your day going'. That type of communication usually will be replied when seen.
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