Social_Collision Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 (edited) Well, me and the love of my life, whom I met about 6 years ago in high school. The first time I had seen her I had a deep connection with her and I felt like I had known her for ages, hard to explain. She had recently just moved there and we ended up becoming best friends. Over some past relationship stuff with her and some other people, I pushed myself away because I knew I loved her and couldn't bare to see her be mistreated by another guy. Well, we still talked on and off, but two years later we started dating. We loved each other alot, within the first year she was pregnant. We were very happy that it was with each other. Through the course of the relationship we did have problems due to her past guy who she was still hurt over and she never had the reassurance she needed to completely move on. So, it did put a hurt on me at times and our relationship. Then about 8 months after our daughter was born, she was still in love with me things were great between us, I had recently lost my job, but I had so much time to spend with her and we were so in love. She was also going through a great deal of depression over the baby and her appearance, and she thought i didn't care about her and thought I didn't think she was attractive. Although due to her being homeless with a kid she had no choice but to move in with her ex, things were still great between us. the guy was never home because he worked two jobs So i spent all my time over there, and we loved it. Well, the ex still wanted her and used her living there against her, and she ended up kissing him. I know she didn't want to, and looking back at it I can imagine the pain she had to have gone to knowing she had to do that despite making me upset. She was really torn up over it. Well, she didn't tell him we were dating, and she finally told him and he kicked her out. She went to live with her friend. During this time I had ran out of money that I had saved up from my job and couldn't really see her that often anymore. For a few months I didn't have much to do with her, i mean we still talked but we drifted apart some, I think I enjoyed the space away from her after all the pain and stress I went through. I thought we were going through one of those moments where we were together but without the title of it like we have had in the past, She even asked me back out and I didn't give her an answer because of that which was in February a few months after she moved in with her friend. Well, I started to get really close to her again mid april, and around june we were really close again, i mean it was like we were the same old couple, but she didn't give me hardly any intimacy like she did before. I had found out that she had been talking to a guy and they tried to date but it didn't go well. You know the guy constantly bothered me because she was still in his life and they still talked, even though she never hung out with him and spent majority of her time with me now. We're still not together officially and she made that obvious, but it was like we were together because of how close we were and how she treated me. Well, in this current month, july, She fell asleep on my chest one late night on july 5th. I respected her and told myself i wouldn't, but something told me to, so i went through her phone. I found out she had been dating this guy for four months at that point, they had even had sexual intercourse and everything. She had lied to me the entire time and treated me as though we were still together. I went off on her, and yelled at her and told her I wasn't talking to her ever again other than for our child and wanted nothing to do with her, but i'm really understanding and I never and I mean I never get angry, so it's rare for my anger to show. So, she was scared, and she was crying begging me not to leave. Well, we had a talk, and she talked to me about how she started dating this guy( she described him as a rebound) and things got out of control and went how she didn't want them to. I told her I loved her still and still cared about her, and I understood why everything had happend the way it did. She had told me she didn't want to hurt me and she still wanted me in her life. Well, for one, she's close to being homeless and is depending on this guy so she can have a place to live pretty soon, and she has a past of being a whore to get what she needs for the time being, it upsets me and I feel sorry for her because of that, but shes been on her own for a long time because her parents weren't there for her, and I know she was in love with me. She even told me she really wants to have a family and move in with me over this other guy. So, she is using this guy even though she does care about him. But I lost my job and haven't been able to get another since and had to move back in with my parents, so she couldn't depend on me. Well, about 2 weeks ago I told her I couldn't have her in my life other than for our child and this should have happend four months ago. I still loved her and all that good stuff. Well, I didn't talk to her for a good week other than for our daughter. And there was this girl who my brother is seeing who I have no interest in and she none for me, so we decided to see how much she cared by blowing each other on snapchat to make each other our bestfriends. a few days later I went over to see her, And she was soooo pissed off, she saw that she was my best friend and was so jealous and had an attitude. well, I didn't get angry but I sat down and talked to her, I told her I still loved her and care about her and i'm still going to be there when she absolutely needs me, but I can't give her much more than that since she has a commitment with another guy. I told her if anything it'd only ruin our chances of being together again in the future. She told me she doesn't want to live with the guy at all and feels like she's lost and doesn't know what to do. She wants to have a family with me. I haven't been talking to her much since then, and Shes been telling me she misses me and she creeps on all my social media stuff. I want us to be a family, Im getting back on my feet as I have a good job i'm about to get where i'll make alot of money. so, what should I do? I could easly forgive her for the past, but it kills me to see her with this other guy in the present. btw I'm 20, she's 18, the other guy is 22 and she is his first everything. and the way she talks about him, she puts him down, but in a positive way if that makes sense, so she doesn't really want the guy, and I know her pretty well to know this. Edited July 21, 2014 by Social_Collision
ByMyself01 Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 I hate to be a party crasher, but it won't last. From what I've seen in the past, once 1 person steps outside of the relationship and constantly keep meeting new people, its basically already over. If you 2 decide to get back together and work it out, be careful because it seems she wants to find someone new being that there was more than one person in the picture.
LovemySons Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 Wow...that's quite a story! If she's been homeless, and she hasn't felt like she could count on you to help her or your child, she has probably been very confused. It doesn't sound like the two of you were every truly committed to one another. If you do want to be a family, and you feel that the two of you can make it work, then I would strongly encourage you to go to couples'/premarital counseling. There are definitely issues that need to be worked through. If you're going to be committed to one another and be a family, then commit. She needs to stop living with other guys, and you need to tell her how you feel. Good luck!
amaysngrace Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 She had lied to me the entire time and treated me as though we were still together. so, what should I do? As soon as you get that good paying job and get that good paying paycheck go to the local family courthouse and file for a paternity test. 1
Author Social_Collision Posted July 21, 2014 Author Posted July 21, 2014 Wow...that's quite a story! If she's been homeless, and she hasn't felt like she could count on you to help her or your child, she has probably been very confused. It doesn't sound like the two of you were every truly committed to one another. If you do want to be a family, and you feel that the two of you can make it work, then I would strongly encourage you to go to couples'/premarital counseling. There are definitely issues that need to be worked through. If you're going to be committed to one another and be a family, then commit. She needs to stop living with other guys, and you need to tell her how you feel. Good luck! I'm not going to lie, she has been on her own since she was 14 and had to use her body to get what she needs, so, that's what she knows best. I don't want her to have to put herself through something of that sort. I am understanding and wouldn't allow this to get in the way of our family, even if I can't accept her back into a relationship right away. I do truly love her and wouldn't allow this to get in the way, she has shown me that she is truly sorry and hates having to do this, but she feels like she doesn't have a choice. I wish I had a way so she knew she had a choice that she didn't have to resort to being a whore to survive. She's better than that but she doesn't realize it. Yesterday, I ended up packing all of her things up, including gifts; such as things she made for me, a huge painting, a little porcelain container she hand made and painted and some other sentimental gifts, as well as the rest of her belongings. I also wrote her a note telling her how I still care about her and loved her, and I'm not going to forget her, etc. well, when I went to pick my daughter up, she talked to me for a minute. I could tell she was trying to beat around the bush, and I knew she was upset. Then she grabbed me and held me really tight and I did the same. which she held on for maybe 10 minutes, We told each other we loved each other. etc. She told me how she just wants to be a family with me but in more detail. Well, I got my daughter packed up in the car, but forgot something, so ran back inside and she was already in tears, she didn't look at me and tried to hide it, but I could feel her sorrow, she couldn't hide it. I gave her another hug and told her to take it easy and left. A few hours after I left, she told me the note I left her made her cry and that she missed her family so much, Me and our daughter.
Author Social_Collision Posted July 21, 2014 Author Posted July 21, 2014 As soon as you get that good paying job and get that good paying paycheck go to the local family courthouse and file for a paternity test. The child is definitely mine. There's no doubting that, she had only been faithful to me in that timeframe.
Author Social_Collision Posted July 21, 2014 Author Posted July 21, 2014 I hate to be a party crasher, but it won't last. From what I've seen in the past, once 1 person steps outside of the relationship and constantly keep meeting new people, its basically already over. If you 2 decide to get back together and work it out, be careful because it seems she wants to find someone new being that there was more than one person in the picture. She did devote herself to me through all of it, even though there were some difficulties here and there. She wanted a family with me so bad, but i was going through a form of depression and lost my motivation and it made it hard for me to find a job. I guess she got to where she couldn't depend on me, but still wants that relationship with me, but I failed to give it to her at the time. She even still tried for us, but I gave her nothing back. because when I was going through my depression I failed to give her any affection, she even asked me out again, and I never gave her an answer. She didn't intend for things to go the way they did either, the guy was a rebound and he made her feel special again and with her being on the verge of being homeless she stuck with him for the comfort of him being able to afford her a home. But I did regain my drive and my motivation and have been doing everything to show her she is what I want. She has taken to it, and has shown us being together is what she truly wants. So, I did push her away, even though I didn't intend to.
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