paris4 Posted July 20, 2014 Posted July 20, 2014 Is there a way to find out what kind of a girl a guy is looking for? I was debating about just asking this guy directly but we don't know each other that well. And he is very hard to read so I can't tell if I am what he's looking for. If I'm not even his type then I really would like to spend my time on someone else. Thanks!
I am Bud Posted July 20, 2014 Posted July 20, 2014 Dear paris4 I once saw a funny part in a movie, it might have been Groundhog day where Bill Murray was speaking to a girl and she was giving him a list of what she was looking for in a guy and he kept on saying "Me" in reply to all of her individual requirements. You could take that funny approach if you are that type of girl. On the other hand if you know some of his hobbies then he probably wants a girl who can share in his interests. For example if he likes playing music then he might want a girl who also plays music. If he likes doing sports then he might want a sporty girl etc. If he is a shy guy then it might take him a while to take the courage to ask you out however if he is a social butterfly and you have already spend some time with him then he would have made his moves by now if he was interested. It's not really necessary to focus on what other people find attractive in a partner because chemistry works on many different levels. In this regards I would not sit back and anticipate whether he is going to ask you out or not. Continue to keep your eyes open because it will be self evident when a guy is chasing you. All the best - Bud. 1
Assasda Posted July 20, 2014 Posted July 20, 2014 To be blunt, Its a foolish question. Youre just setting youself up for failure. No one has real types, unless you are really shallow. The guy doesnt even know you yet. If all that you can offer is something physical, that says a lot about your self esteem. If you want to go out with this guy, ask him if he wants to see a movie sometime and go out with him, or invite him to dinner. Dont ask someone "their type" that kinda stuff only works with friends and people in romantic comedy movies
Versacehottie Posted July 20, 2014 Posted July 20, 2014 i also think this is a silly question to ask someone you're interested in. (fun to ask friends though). Basically if you do, everything you say afterward will be seen as an attempt to mold to his list or will draw his attention on how you differ from it. Either way then you may seems as if you are trying too hard when you point out the areas in which you are similar to his type. The question in and of itself sets this situation up. It's kinda a no-win and shows that asker may be a bit insecure. It's far better to show your type. Show him who you are. As far as finding out what he likes (so you can see if it fits you)--a better question to ask is how he sees his lifestyle, how a gf fits into it (worded better but hopefully you get idea). Get answers to what his values are and how he conducts himself and his life. What people put on their "list" to describe their ideal person is often different than what they end up. It's often little differences that draw the couple together and create interest. I wouldn't ask that question of someone i was dating. 2
Survivor12 Posted July 20, 2014 Posted July 20, 2014 Is there a way to find out what kind of a girl a guy is looking for? I was debating about just asking this guy directly but we don't know each other that well. And he is very hard to read so I can't tell if I am what he's looking for. If I'm not even his type then I really would like to spend my time on someone else. Thanks! Don't ask. Just be yourself and let him decide if he likes you. It's not uncommon for people to end up with people who are very different than their "type"--both physically & personality-wise so his answer may not mean much. Besides, if you don't know each other very well, how do you know that he's YOUR type?
Author paris4 Posted July 20, 2014 Author Posted July 20, 2014 Thank you all for the advice. We did go out on few dates but I just get this feeling that he's only stringing me along while he's out looking for someone better. This is why I've been wondering if I'm his type at all. I feel like some guys, even if they know that you are not exactly what they are looking for, they still keep you around while they keep looking. So if I can find out that I'm not even what he's usually interested in then I want to move on. Though we are at an early stage of dating, I feel like we are not progressing forward but he won't let me go either so I feel like I'm stuck in this unhappy place.
fred123 Posted July 20, 2014 Posted July 20, 2014 Thank you all for the advice. We did go out on few dates but I just get this feeling that he's only stringing me along while he's out looking for someone better. This is why I've been wondering if I'm his type at all. I feel like some guys, even if they know that you are not exactly what they are looking for, they still keep you around while they keep looking. So if I can find out that I'm not even what he's usually interested in then I want to move on. Though we are at an early stage of dating, I feel like we are not progressing forward but he won't let me go either so I feel like I'm stuck in this unhappy place. ask him do you like me more than a friend? has he kissed u yet? i have been played and led on too like this. friendzoned u cud possibly be
Author paris4 Posted July 21, 2014 Author Posted July 21, 2014 I did ask him at one point if he's still interested in going out and he said yes but we haven't been on another date yet. And it's been awhile since the last. I gave him plenty of chances to tell me he was no longer interested but he keeps telling me he's still interested. I don't know what is it about me thats making him hesitate? If I can figure that out, I can help him decided because I think he is a really indecisive type of person.
Assasda Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 You also need to calm down and enjoy the ride. I never understood what "moving things forward " means. Do you want him to marry you? probably not at this moment. So enjoy the ride, have fun, and know that he's his own person and he likes to have fun too. Seems like you get caught up in a hollywood relationship thought process. Enjoy your time together withought thinking about relationships, if it turns out that he's not for you, then he's not for you. You wont be wasting any time 1
Versacehottie Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 Thank you all for the advice. We did go out on few dates but I just get this feeling that he's only stringing me along while he's out looking for someone better. This is why I've been wondering if I'm his type at all. I feel like some guys, even if they know that you are not exactly what they are looking for, they still keep you around while they keep looking. So if I can find out that I'm not even what he's usually interested in then I want to move on. Though we are at an early stage of dating, I feel like we are not progressing forward but he won't let me go either so I feel like I'm stuck in this unhappy place. hmmmm, well how does this make YOU feel? If I hear a tone in your post, you don't sound thrilled--so why are you letting him decide what happens to you? Take the proactive role for yourself. If you find his behavior not worthy, not interesting to you, not the type YOU would go out with, not inspiring and just all over mediocre, decide to cut it off. It doesn't have to be hateful or ugly, just that you want more for yourself. You will feel a lot better if you are the one to decide your own fate rather than having this nagging feeling but wait around until he decides to do it to you. If you are hanging on because you believe potential is there, then you owe it to yourself to give your best and expect him to give better in return. By giving your best, i don't mean be a doormat or bend to his every whim. I mean give the relationship it's full chance. Be the best you. Be an active participant. Speak up in order to get what you want and to give it a real chance. I totally understand wanting progress however, I wouldnt want this guy to put a label on the relationship if I felt as you have expressed. You need to be your own advocate. Ask yourself if there is a possibility that you are being too sensitive about what you think he thinks of you OR possibly insecure because he seems to be holding all the cards at the moment. If the answer is no, then find the way to get closer with him. In the end, there may be just a real reason that the way he expresses himself (or lacking in expression) doesn't work for you for a real relationship. But basically it sounds like you are at a crossroads. I think the best thing that will help you no matter how this relationship turns out is to decide to take a proactive position. Put yourself first. In this case you would: *Actively be considering whether or not to continue the relationship *Actively be communicating with your guy to get him to open up in a way that gives you assurance of where you stand with him by telling him what you want/need (if you do this, then do some more posts on loveshack to get some ideas) Good luck
angel.eyes Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 I did ask him at one point if he's still interested in going out and he said yes but we haven't been on another date yet. And it's been awhile since the last. I gave him plenty of chances to tell me he was no longer interested but he keeps telling me he's still interested. I don't know what is it about me thats making him hesitate? If I can figure that out, I can help him decided because I think he is a really indecisive type of person. People speak volumes through their actions. They won't always connect the dots perfectly for you in the way you want the information given. You're waiting for him to tell you explicitly that he no longer wants to date you. The fact that despite your prompting, he won't go on another date with you, gives you the same information.
Trane Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 Is there a way to find out what kind of a girl a guy is looking for? I was debating about just asking this guy directly but we don't know each other that well. And he is very hard to read so I can't tell if I am what he's looking for. If I'm not even his type then I really would like to spend my time on someone else. Thanks! Sometimes the absolute truth might not be what you want to hear if you really want to find out what a guy fancies in a woman. Depending on his age and level of maturity, you just might be in for a rude awakening.
d0nnivain Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 If you have already been on dates but it's not progressing at a pace you like & you're getting empty promises, asking for his type isn't going to help. Vote with your feet.
Bruce Leigh Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 I have always heard people dismiss a potential date with someone that they consider attractive but say he/she is not really my type. I may have a type of woman that i generally go for but i don't think i have ever said that i find certain women attractive and then turn around and say, "not my type."
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