aphroditescupid Posted July 20, 2014 Posted July 20, 2014 I have been flirting with a guy in one of my classes; we've been attending the same university throughout this year. It started with just smiles and winks and polite hellos. It took about a month just to have small talk and call each other by our names. When summer classes started, we had designated seats that are quite near each other. We always greet each other and have small talk here and there with other classmates around. I know he is interested, but he has yet to make a major move to ask me out. He always seems busy going on to his next classes or job and is surrounded by his "bros." When he's not, he is pretty quiet. He always emphasizes to his bros and our classmates that he he does not have a girlfriend and he always does this within earshot so that I can hear. Also, when he is setting up plans with his friends, he always says (within earshot as well) "Can I invite a girl?" and then says that he doesn't know any girls. He has finally begun to ask me a few personal questions about my family, where I live, etc. but he has yet to make deeper conversations or any major moves. When we are in flirting mode he starts these convos, but when I am concentrated in my work or do not show up to class one day, then he doesn't really talk that much to me for the next two or three days. Even though he is very sociable, I feel that he may be a little shy with me. I'm not very talkative either, though it is mostly my subtle flirting efforts that has made us become this far even. Most of the time I am mostly focused on my work. Now that we are sitting near each other, I actually find it more difficult to continue my flirting for some reason. Before, it was easier for me to just pass by and poke him or just wink and smile. I would really appreciate it if he can step up the game and make a move. I know he is definitely interested but what is holding him back? Is it because he is always surrounded by his mates? Does he think that I may not be as interested? It is really frustrating to have things hanging in the air. What can I do to spark his interest even more to move this forward without me having to ask him out directly and looking overwhelmingly desperate? Constant flirtation would be very inappropriate in our classroom situation. What is a more natural way I can approach him? If I was able to ask him out directly, I obviously wouldn't have written this post. fyi: he is a lot older than I am. I'm 24 and he is 32, returned from the army.
somedude81 Posted July 20, 2014 Posted July 20, 2014 He could be shy. Invite him to lunch after class. 1
Treasa Posted July 20, 2014 Posted July 20, 2014 The next time he says he doesn't know any girls, smile and say, "I'm a girl!" Of course, by now I would have told this guy that I wanted him to rub his head all over my body, but then, I'm not very patient or subtle. 2
I am Bud Posted July 20, 2014 Posted July 20, 2014 Dear aphroditescupid There is nothing more pleasing to a guy than having the ability to help a damsel in distress, particularly if she is at the center of his attraction. If I was in your shoes I would probably think of something mundane that he can help out with. Something that involves shifting or lifting an object. It's not certain yet how skillfull he is with repairing things so something simple like helping you move a bookcase or box would be good. You will be surprised to how quick and eager he will be to help you out. It would be like sounding the bugle and he will come charging in to save the day. I think that once you have him by himself then he will open up to you. Good luck with it - Bud.
Assasda Posted July 20, 2014 Posted July 20, 2014 OP you got to go for what you want, cant just be hoping that he talks to you and asks the right questions and press the right buttons. He's probably seeing other girls, and youre just an aquaintance, So make yourself more than that
d0nnivain Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 College boys don't "date". They hang out & hook up. They avoid anything that could require them to spend money. Dating doesn't start until after college when the income happens. If you want to spend time with him, you need to mention something. Are you going to the Alpha Beta Chi party on Friday? Me & my friends are going to watch the baseball game against Rival School; will we see you there? etc. You could even try the old classic -- wanna come by & study for the mindterm?
somedude81 Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 College boys don't "date". They hang out & hook up. They avoid anything that could require them to spend money. Dating doesn't start until after college when the income happens. If you want to spend time with him, you need to mention something. Are you going to the Alpha Beta Chi party on Friday? Me & my friends are going to watch the baseball game against Rival School; will we see you there? etc. You could even try the old classic -- wanna come by & study for the mindterm? Is a 32 year old guy still considered a college boy? 2
smackie9 Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 It's obviously the age differerence has him feeling unsure. In my day you were not to trust anyone over age of 30 lol. Anywho, you are just goin gto have to ask him to join you for a coffee date. It's not the 1950's where women waiting around for men to grow a set. It's a modern age hun, ask him out yourself if you want him bad enough. 1
smackie9 Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 Over 25 years ago I asked guys out on dates. To them it was a breath of fresh air, and they commented on my confidence. It's a win win. 1
BeeLindaCarlyle Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 The way I see it, you have to go for it girl! With all silliness aside, yes go for it--but tread carefully. Don't be overly excited and scare him, haha. Be aware that there is the potential that things may not be as they seem. So watch your heart. If you're not the type of girl to make the moves, then hang back a little while longer and see. If this doesn't happen soon though, I would start to look elsewhere. The age thing may be too hard for him to absorb. So he might be taking his time. Returning to normal civilian life after being in the service may also be a factor. I'm sure it's not easy for him. Best luck girlfriend!
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