heartonfire10 Posted July 20, 2014 Posted July 20, 2014 I'm wondering when someone is used to fighting dirty and hitting someone's buttons either in self-defense or anger/hurt, how is the pattern curtailed? Fighting fair is healthy for any type of relationships and I'm curious to know how in the moment of anger/frustration/pain with your sister, boyfriend, mother, friend, etc. how someone holds back from really saying something mean and prevents the cycle from continuing? Likewise, if someone starts in on you by saying something mean or using something against you, how do you control wanting to retaliate and dish it back?
Tbisb74 Posted July 20, 2014 Posted July 20, 2014 I'm wondering when someone is used to fighting dirty and hitting someone's buttons either in self-defense or anger/hurt, how is the pattern curtailed? Fighting fair is healthy for any type of relationships and I'm curious to know how in the moment of anger/frustration/pain with your sister, boyfriend, mother, friend, etc. how someone holds back from really saying something mean and prevents the cycle from continuing? Self-control. It takes practice, but it should be implemented. You know what you're going to say before you say it. So don't say it. A bit of personal discipline never hurt anyone. And 'fighting' of any kind is far from healthy, for any relationship. Who told or taught you it was? Fighting is what gets you into undesirable situations in the first place. Likewise, if someone starts in on you by saying something mean or using something against you, how do you control wanting to retaliate and dish it back? By replying, "I'm going to pretend you didn't say that, and I am walking away from this situation until we have both calmed down. Then we can talk, not hurl insults to hurt one another." And walk away.
Assasda Posted July 20, 2014 Posted July 20, 2014 I just dont befriend those kind of people. There's an old saying "Those who know better, do better" -I also live by that
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