shd Posted July 20, 2014 Posted July 20, 2014 Hi everyone, I've been reading through these forums a lot for the past few days and I've decided to write my own "story" here because I can't wrap my head around it. I think if I'll understand what happened, it will be easier for me to cope with it. I'll appreciate any insight into this situation. Now first of all, I'd like to announce that English isn't my primary language, so I'm sorry if there's something hard to understand but I'll do my best. Secondly, I know there are simply LOTS of threads like this but as some people here say - every relationship is unique. Finally - I'm very sorry if it'll be very long but I don't want to miss something important. First - some background Me and my ex-gf are both 20 years old and our relationship was exactly 39 months long, we were each others first love, we live in two different cities but only about 10 km away from each other so I don't think it can be considered as LDR. We met at my friend bday party and she was the one to make the first step, then for like 2 months we were just talking but I fell in love with her (and told her that), she was kinda friend zoning me (she was saying that she's afraid she'll hurt me) for the next month but decided to give it a try. Month later she told me she loves me (it was in May 2011). We were in the same high school and were seeing each other every day, then we went to the same university and were seeing each other only on weekends. We were a very happy couple, and everybody was telling us we're a perfect match. During that 3 y old relationship we had some fights. When we were together for like a year I told her she bored me (and that was actually true) but we both tried to figure it out and it worked out. I broke up with her three times and it was every time she was going to England to visit her sister ( I have abandonment issues ), but every time she came back from England we were back together and everything was fine. The break up. I think the critical moment prior to breakup was the death of my ex's grandma which was living with her and her parents. It happened on the beginning of June, I couldn't attend the funeral, and decided to give her some time to cope with it, so we had some limited contact for about two weeks ( It was also because I had final exams ). Now this is where it starts to be confusing for me. We finally met on June 25th and were together 'till Friday ( I had last exam on Monday so I had to learn on weekend ), everything was great. Then on 1 July she left me a message on fb saying "we have to talk" and to meet her the next day. When we met she was crying and telling me stuff like "we're too much alike, i want to move to England one day etc.". After that I asked her if that means what I think it does, and she said yes. Now at this point I've done what most of guys do. The next day I tried to get some closure and she wouldn't talk to me in person, she only left me a fb message in the evening saying that it hurts her what she did to me, that she was "unhappy" for some time, that our relationship "burned out" and that she didn't want to meet me because she couldn't look me in the eyes. After that I've done the typical begging etc. She accepted to meet me in her house few days later ( To be honest, I think I forced this on her via her mother). We talked in very friendly atmosphere ( she was very surprised about it ), she explained to me that for some time she was happy and unhappy at the same time, that some things were starting to bother her about me etc. She also told me that it was problem with her, she was very thankful for how I was during the relationship and that I bringed "a lot of good things to her life". I asked her does she love me, she said "Yes, I'll always love you because you're the first love of my live, but I've decided I don't want to be with you anymore". I told her I'll be waiting for her unless she has somebody, she replied "No i don't, and i don't want to have anybody now". From this point I've gone NC. Four days later she was spotted walking hand in hand with some younger dude. At this point I've overreacted a bit and posted on fb that my ex cheated on me and lied me in the eyes. Two days after that I received a txt from her "I know i don't have any right to ask you anything after what I did to you, but I hope that someday you'll forgive me that I hurt you, I know I did it and I can't deal with it, I want you to know that I NEVER cheated on you, I only lied about somebody else and that I love you, but how could I tell you i don't feel the same way anymore? ... I didn't want to hurt you but I know I did" Now before that txt I thought that it was a GIGS case, but now I'm not so sure. I haven't answered to that txt. I blocked her everywhere I could and maintain a NC. Maybe somebody can see something here that I don't and help me understand what actually happened. Is it GIGS or she simply decided to leave me for other guy, just like that after 3 years?
beach Posted July 20, 2014 Posted July 20, 2014 Yes, it happens. I'm sorry you are hurting. You at young and much to experience in your lifetime. Get busy living :-)
a0009 Posted July 20, 2014 Posted July 20, 2014 Please stop wanting to know whether it is GIGS or she decided to left you for another guy. You should get it in your head that she does not love you anymore and she told you that, thats all you need to know. You are in a bad situation that she broke up with you and she is dating another guy. I have been in same situation before, sometime back I was dumped for another guy and I tried to think if it was GIGS or she loved the other guy. After sometime I accepted the fact she did not love me and you do not leave someone you love for someone else. I moved out and maintained NC and I was recently told that she was dumped by the guy and she is now f*king one of my (former) friend. Wish her the best, she loves him more than she loves you and move on, do not talk to her, one day you will understand it.
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