JoL Posted February 22, 2005 Posted February 22, 2005 Is it just me or do friendships get more and more complicated and easily disolvable the older we get? I am only in my early twenties and i already feel like people are willing to throw friendships away over the stupidest things. I have had falling outs with 1 really close friend, 1 close relative (Who i was really good friends with too), old friends from high school who are just being plain b!tches, ex-bfs (granted, he was an abusive ass and i am choosing to keep my distance from him) but with the others, i feel like i dont know what i even DID to make them so cold towards me. I have NEVER EVER EVER EVER had falling outs with people before in my life..i have always made the effort to mend bridges and fix problems before they got to "not on speaking terms" weirdness. But it seems that people- no matter how silly the situation- will NOT act like adults and address concerns, problems or things they are upset over..they would rather just avoid the issue all together and ignore me. I like to resolve problems..to talk them out and come to some resolution that makes everyone happy. Every time i have approached any of the above people to resolve issues i have pretty much been ignored or avoided. I guess in situations like this you can just leave it be..if they dont wana resolve things, what more can i do!?
sami Posted February 22, 2005 Posted February 22, 2005 why don't you look into yourself to find out what you might have done wrong to all those you had mentioned so they decided to turn away. Humans have it in their blood to blame it on others while keep thinking of themselves as perfect.
Author JoL Posted February 22, 2005 Author Posted February 22, 2005 The friend- i talked to her ex-bfs new girlfriend at a social event. Mind you, her ex-bf and my (now ex) bf are best friends...so i couldnt ignore the new gf, i was polite and that was it...but she couldnt understand why i would say hi and talk to this girl..i apparantly betrayed her by doing this. Her and the guy didnt have a bad break up, it was a casual fling for a few months that she wanted out of- but he ended it, so she hates him..it was eight months after the break up when this happened!! she decided i had betrayed her....the girl was invited to a social event and i had to say hello and be polite, she didnt know anyone else there..i couldnt ignore her, i didnt spend the entire time bonding with her, i was polite and did my girlfriendly duty of saying hello to my boyfriends best friends girlfriend! She started to ignore me from then on..i asked her what was wrong..i guessed..i explained my side of the story..i apologised for hurting her, as i didnt realise i would have upset her and then told her i was naive to think it wouldnt upset her and that i really just wanted to explain and apologise..she ignored me...i msged her to try and see if i could meet up with her..ignored..rang her..ignored..emailed her..ignored. She didnt come to my 21st bday..meanwhile the previous year i had given a speech at hers. Meanwhile she was having sleepovers and going out every weekend with my boyfriends ex-girlfriend..did i ever throw a tantrum over that?!?! Not once!!! With my relative, her parents have broken up and she has taken her mothers side, her father is my uncle. How is that my fault? My friends from high school are hating one of my best friends and i have been included through association- they still talk to me- but bitch about my friend and include me in that too..they have made me an enemy by association because of an issue with a friend. In each and every situation i have tried to approch the parties and attempt to understand their problem..each time i have been shut down and denied. I dont see how what other options i truly have?
sami Posted February 22, 2005 Posted February 22, 2005 just stop going-in-between them. Find your own free way and start sailing on your own. You will finally arrive if you'll stay on the right direction.
moimeme Posted February 22, 2005 Posted February 22, 2005 I'd say that none of these were great friends if those are the reasons they've ditched you. Perhaps you'll find less petty people to be friends with the future. I wouldn't mourn that bunch too much.
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