lakerman34 Posted July 19, 2014 Posted July 19, 2014 (edited) I moved down to NOLA about a month ago, and two weeks ago I started dating a girl in my program. It started REALLY fast. She wants to keep hitting the accelerator, and I want to hit the brakes a little bit. Thing is, in our program, most of the girls seem to have a thing for me. She insisted she wasn't a jealous person, but she's INCREDIBLY so. She hates it that I get hit on so much, even though I do laugh and joke with the girls, I NEVER, EVER, EVER flirt back. I keep telling her not to worry, I only have eyes for her, and my track record for cheating on girls that I was dating is I never have. Not even a thought that crosses my mind. A couple of nights ago, I made her cum REALLY hard all over my bedsheets. It was the first time that she ever squirted, and the first time I've ever gotten a girl to squirt. Ever since then, she has been INCREDIBLY (maybe even too much so) lovey-dovey. Last night, we were at a house party. I was around the dinner table with about 3 other girls, and they were all talking about Tinder. I downloaded the app, and in a matter of 30 seconds I got 4 hits. She comes in to the kitchen and says, "so I hear you got Tinder, huh? Maybe I should call up Ian." I uninstalled the app right away (having her watch me do it), and then explained to her that it was just a joke, then scolded her about the Ian thing. Ian is a guy that she went to school with that lives in Alabama. Apparently, she had a crush on him when she was a freshman and he a senior. He asked to drive 4 hours "to have dinner with her." Right...... I told her she should do whatever she feels is right, but that I wouldn't take it very well if this guy came for "dinner" because I don't trust him and booze. She says she said something to him. Anyways, she got very drunk last night and had a pow-wow in a room with some of her girl friends. They were talking about me. I had no idea where she went, so I spent a lot of last night looking for her. I found her, and she wanted to make out with me in front of a lot of her friends. I explained to her about respect and PDA. I took her home, put her to bed. This morning, she apologized, everything was fine. I asked her if she wanted to go to a museum, she said she had coffee plans with her friend. Then I said "we should go get pho." She said she liked this idea. I text her a couple of times, VERY short answers. Then I tell her "we are going to pho in 2 hours." She responds: "Cool. I'm staying with my friend. I need to talk to you later." Complete 180. I don't know what I did wrong. I feel as if this friend (a girl who I thought I was also friends with) is pulling her strings. She has the attitude "I love my friends, even when they are wrong, they are right." It's all the female empowerment BS the wrong way. I feel as if I'm a single man tonight. Most of me is very upset over this, but a small sliver of me is relieved (I hate drama). I honestly don't think I've done anything wrong. What should I do? I'm thinking if she wants to end it NOT to beg, plead, or ask for an explanation. Just say, "OK sounds good," and move on. Edited July 19, 2014 by lakerman34
Tbisb74 Posted July 19, 2014 Posted July 19, 2014 Dump her sorry ass. What a drama queen. Jeezus, I wouldn't give her the time to be so prima donna. What is her problem? She's desperately insecure. Do you really want to work that hard when it's patently obvious you actually don't need to? Khrist, just let someone else deal with her, and be someone else's problem!
Author lakerman34 Posted July 19, 2014 Author Posted July 19, 2014 Dump her sorry ass. What a drama queen. Jeezus, I wouldn't give her the time to be so prima donna. What is her problem? She's desperately insecure. Do you really want to work that hard when it's patently obvious you actually don't need to? Khrist, just let someone else deal with her, and be someone else's problem! She has a bit of a history with the insecurity and self-esteem issue. I've been told I'm the best looking guy in my program (there are about 10 guys, 30 girls), and I get hit on more than I have in my entire life. I have to constantly reassure her, and I even told her that if she's a jealous person, I get that BUT that she REALLY doesn't have to worry. Ugh.
guest569 Posted July 19, 2014 Posted July 19, 2014 I wouldn't be thrilled either if my boyfriend downloaded a dating app. Possibly something to do with that ?
Tbisb74 Posted July 19, 2014 Posted July 19, 2014 I wouldn't be thrilled either if my boyfriend downloaded a dating app. Possibly something to do with that ? Yes, but he only did it as a joke. Not because he actually wanted to use the App. She got all shirty and defensive. That, given the situation, was pretty dumb. Like I said, kick this one to the kerb. The more leeway you give, the more thumb-screwed you are.
Author lakerman34 Posted July 19, 2014 Author Posted July 19, 2014 I wouldn't be thrilled either if my boyfriend downloaded a dating app. Possibly something to do with that ? That sounds like an insecurity, Smiley. On top of that, I was VERY vocal about left-swiping (rejecting) almost all of the girls.
guest569 Posted July 19, 2014 Posted July 19, 2014 I'm trying to help you see it from her view. In her eyes you probably did do something wrong and I think that is what it is. If this all happened since the tinder incident?
Author lakerman34 Posted July 19, 2014 Author Posted July 19, 2014 I'm trying to help you see it from her view. In her eyes you probably did do something wrong and I think that is what it is. If this all happened since the tinder incident? She was very drunk. She also saw me sitting by the river with my ROOMMATE'S GIRLFRIEND and got jealous. Seriously.
ExpatInItaly Posted July 19, 2014 Posted July 19, 2014 She could be over-reactive, sure. But it doesn't sound like you're helping the situation a heck of a lot, either. Downloading Tinder? Bad joke, my friend. Of course she doesn't like that. I'm thinking she's had doubts about your loyalty (rightly or wrongly) for a little while and this incident with Tinder, however harmless you think it might be, was the icing on the cake for her. In any case, if you feel you have to constantly reassure her, you can either walk away and find someone more secure. Or, you can examine your own behaviour and see if there's anything there that could be misinterpreted and cause problems. 1
Author lakerman34 Posted July 19, 2014 Author Posted July 19, 2014 She could be over-reactive, sure. But it doesn't sound like you're helping the situation a heck of a lot, either. Downloading Tinder? Bad joke, my friend. Of course she doesn't like that. I'm thinking she's had doubts about your loyalty (rightly or wrongly) for a little while and this incident with Tinder, however harmless you think it might be, was the icing on the cake for her. In any case, if you feel you have to constantly reassure her, you can either walk away and find someone more secure. Or, you can examine your own behaviour and see if there's anything there that could be misinterpreted and cause problems. It's at the point that in casual conversation, I'll say "oh, she's cute" about another girl (just matter-of-factly), and then have to whisper to her "but, of course, you're cuter." It's that bad.
guest569 Posted July 19, 2014 Posted July 19, 2014 It's at the point that in casual conversation, I'll say "oh, she's cute" about another girl (just matter-of-factly), and then have to whisper to her "but, of course, you're cuter." It's that bad. Sounds like you need to be single.
ExpatInItaly Posted July 19, 2014 Posted July 19, 2014 It's at the point that in casual conversation, I'll say "oh, she's cute" about another girl (just matter-of-factly), and then have to whisper to her "but, of course, you're cuter." It's that bad. Why are you commenting on other girls' appearances with her? Does she ask you what you think, or do you randomly point it out? If it's the latter...yeah. I can see why she's annoyed. Don't do that anymore. 3
Author lakerman34 Posted July 20, 2014 Author Posted July 20, 2014 She ended it. This has never happened to me. In a single moment, she just ends it. One of her friends voiced her opinion (a friend who really has no right to have an opinion) and she ended it. I understand that it's probably for the best, but I think it's BS. I guess it's better now than later though. The scar is small, and will (hopefully) go away in about a week or so.
Author lakerman34 Posted July 20, 2014 Author Posted July 20, 2014 Why are you commenting on other girls' appearances with her? Does she ask you what you think, or do you randomly point it out? If it's the latter...yeah. I can see why she's annoyed. Don't do that anymore. That's the kind of relationship I thought we had. I'd say "that's a really good looking dude" about some guy, and she'd respond, "mhmmm." IDK. I don't think insecure girls are my style.
Tbisb74 Posted July 20, 2014 Posted July 20, 2014 Insecure girls aren't anybody's style. Sooner or later it becomes oppressive. A propos of nothing in particular, the only thing worse than an insecure girl is an insecure guy. A woman can occasionally, up to a point, get away with the 'helpless little me needs some loving and understanding' thing. Guys just come over as wimps. As has been said, knock this one on the head, Gringo....
Author lakerman34 Posted July 20, 2014 Author Posted July 20, 2014 Insecure girls aren't anybody's style. Sooner or later it becomes oppressive. A propos of nothing in particular, the only thing worse than an insecure girl is an insecure guy. A woman can occasionally, up to a point, get away with the 'helpless little me needs some loving and understanding' thing. Guys just come over as wimps. As has been said, knock this one on the head, Gringo.... HAHA Sometimes, LS is so bad for me. Sometimes, it helps me a lot. I'm just happy to see people who think it's best I got rid of her, because there still is a bit of pain, and will be for a little while. Unfortunately, she's unavoidable as we share a wall, BUT yeah, I'm not dipping my feet into the river twice. She has made her bed, now she is going to lie on it. A drunken night if she comes up to me, she has officially been knocked down on my list and will be met with a resounding, "hahahahaha NO."
Author lakerman34 Posted July 20, 2014 Author Posted July 20, 2014 'Shares a wall'...? What? We live in a twin house. She lives on one side of the wall with 2 girls, I on the other with 2 guys.
Tbisb74 Posted July 20, 2014 Posted July 20, 2014 So what? You know how you walk past people you don't know, in the street, every day? Do likewise. Nothing speaks loud and clear like someone being given the brush-off. It will say more to her than a thousand words ever could.
ExpatInItaly Posted July 20, 2014 Posted July 20, 2014 HAHA Sometimes, LS is so bad for me. Sometimes, it helps me a lot. I'm just happy to see people who think it's best I got rid of her, because there still is a bit of pain, and will be for a little while. Unfortunately, she's unavoidable as we share a wall, BUT yeah, I'm not dipping my feet into the river twice. She has made her bed, now she is going to lie on it. A drunken night if she comes up to me, she has officially been knocked down on my list and will be met with a resounding, "hahahahaha NO." No offense to you, but this sounds like a bruised ego more than anything. She kicked you to the curb. You weren't so keen on the relationship anymore anyway, so she effectively did you a favour. Don't waste energy thinking up scenarios where you can put her in her place. That only underscores the bruised ego bit. 1
Author lakerman34 Posted July 20, 2014 Author Posted July 20, 2014 We've known each other for 2 weeks, and right away she wanted to nose dive into labels. I told my mom about how I went OUT OF MY WAY to try and be even more affectionate than what came naturally b/c it still wasn't enough for this girl, and my mom asked right away "is she possibly a lesbian? It sounds like she wants affection that guys can't really offer her." Turns out, she's bi. I can't be in a relationship where the girl is attached to my hip constantly, who wants to make out at parties in front of all our friends, who wants to be so super attached. It is ultimately for the better, and I have a clear conscious because I really did respect this girl as much as I could and gave her as much affection as I could. I would give her out-of-place compliments b/c I know she needed them. I would friggin' give her foot massages at the end of the day b/c it made her feel like "this guy cares for me." I really gave her as much as I could given how little we've known each other, but to her, it wasn't good enough. She isn't going to find a boyfriend that lasts longer than just short-term, lest he's gay.
Tbisb74 Posted July 20, 2014 Posted July 20, 2014 'Clear 'CONSCIENCE'. Conscious means you're awake and alert. Which it seems you really haven't been as far as this girl is concerned.
Author lakerman34 Posted July 21, 2014 Author Posted July 21, 2014 'Clear 'CONSCIENCE'. Conscious means you're awake and alert. Which it seems you really haven't been as far as this girl is concerned. -_- haha i know how to properly use "conscience," just typing quickly i typed out "conscious." touche though.
Mrin Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 Head case. Move along and get a noisy ass FWB to serenade said wall
ExpatInItaly Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 We've known each other for 2 weeks, and right away she wanted to nose dive into labels. I told my mom about how I went OUT OF MY WAY to try and be even more affectionate than what came naturally b/c it still wasn't enough for this girl, and my mom asked right away "is she possibly a lesbian? It sounds like she wants affection that guys can't really offer her." Turns out, she's bi. I can't be in a relationship where the girl is attached to my hip constantly, who wants to make out at parties in front of all our friends, who wants to be so super attached. It is ultimately for the better, and I have a clear conscious because I really did respect this girl as much as I could and gave her as much affection as I could. I would give her out-of-place compliments b/c I know she needed them. I would friggin' give her foot massages at the end of the day b/c it made her feel like "this guy cares for me." I really gave her as much as I could given how little we've known each other, but to her, it wasn't good enough. She isn't going to find a boyfriend that lasts longer than just short-term, lest he's gay. I'm sorry, but I think this is utterly ridiculous. Both of you sound immature and unprepared for a relationship, but it seems you want to smear her because she dumped you. You were no knight in shining armor either, based on what you posted. If she was so needy and clingy, you should be relieved rather than listing all the awesome things you did for her. That just screams "butt hurt!" 1
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