Scrab22 Posted July 19, 2014 Posted July 19, 2014 Hi, I recently created a profile in OKCupid.com and even tried the A-list subscription (to those who don't know - it adds some features and additions for you). First of all, I get no visitors. I have a full profile in my opinion, unlike more people who just add very basic details and photos. And that's another problem. Not a small number of women either have small descriptions, few match questions answered, or just don't give any useful information at all, so I can't see how to start a conversation. I need at least some superficial information to get an idea of what one likes to talk about and do. Thirdly, my Quickmatch don't show people from my country anymore! Source of the problem - a bit of me, but I don't know if it's a main factor. I'm 19.5, and have heard women are usually looking for older men (it's an 18+ website). My profile photo is just a glance at my webcam, leaning on my desk with a slight smile to make the picture non-dull. Also, I look thoroughly at every woman's profile and when I see something that is a block (for instance smoking, drugs, extremely religious, many kids...), I hide them. So my standards are now low. But in order to solve my problem, I'd like to ask how can I start a conversation with a person who has nothing but very basic info and some pictures? How do I start a conversation in general? In my thought I think it's good to start a conversation regarding the woman's profile (hobbies, match %, etc). Any further advice? Thanks for the help! Scrab22
Author Scrab22 Posted July 20, 2014 Author Posted July 20, 2014 Bump, if something is unclear tell me
normal person Posted July 20, 2014 Posted July 20, 2014 As a 19 year old guy you're pretty much at the bottom of the totem pole in terms of online dating. You're not out of school yet, you can't drink (assuming you're in the US), and you probably don't have much cash to throw around (again, I'm assuming). Girls your age are the prized commodity, they're as attractive as they're ever going to be, they know it, and they can get a guy of any age making any amount of money or with any amount of success. If you're not getting viewed it's probably because not many girls are searching for "19 year old student with no money." Online dating is typically meant for older people without the time or circumstances to meet people otherwise. You're in an even better spot though, you're in college surrounded by uninhibited girls, more than you'll ever be in your entire life, so now's your time to take advantage. You don't need online dating, just go to any party on campus and have fun. You can employ online dating when you're 24+, out of school, and on a good career path. That'll be your second chance with the young 20s crowd. If you absolutely insist on online dating for some reason, the content of your message is probably a bit irrelevant. As long as it has a substantial thought (something more than "hi" or "how's your day?") she's probably not going to care about the message if she likes what she sees on your page. Post some more pictures of yourself having fun. Best of luck. 1
angel.eyes Posted July 20, 2014 Posted July 20, 2014 At 19, you should be focused on all the women around you on campus. It's the only time in your life when thousands of people around you are single, in the right age range and actively social. Between the classroom and social activities, you'll have more opportunities to find someone easily than you ever will at any other time of your life. That all goes away when you graduate. At your age, you're truly wasting your time online. Back to your question... If you want people to view your profile, send out emails--lots and lots of them. Only a small fraction of your emails will be opened. Of those, only a small fraction will ever be curious enough to click on your profile, and of that fraction of a fraction, only a tiny percent will be interested enough to respond to your email. Only a fraction of those who begin to communicate with you, will eventually agree to date you. Extrapolate back from trying to get one or two dates via OLD, and that should give you an idea of the number of witty, personalized emails you need to compose and send out on the dating site...hundreds to thousands depending on the strength of your profile, which at 19 is going to be pretty weak next to the 24 year old's. ...Or you can play to your strengths--the social environment you're blessed to be in--and just meander into a neighbor's dorm room and start chatting, or pick a conversation with someone in your class or wherever on campus. That seems like a total no-brainer!
Author Scrab22 Posted July 22, 2014 Author Posted July 22, 2014 (edited) I'm using the online site as another way of finding someone to date with. I have many girls around my place, but for me it takes observation and time to initiate a conversation with a real-life stranger. One of the advantages of OLD is that whoever you see there says out loud "I want to date". I think I know how to take care of dating now. I feel like I can message girls more, and take them less seriously. Many don't give a chance at all. I've attempted using humor regarding their profile picture. Nothing sexual, and their profile pic is the only thing they had, so I couldn't write anything serious. I successfully earned replies in some of them, but after I wrote back it was un-replied. I can expand on what I wrote, but I don't think there's need to (unless you state otherwise I may cooperate), since they're also strangers, so I don't think there's need to care much about how they feel afterwards, it's their loss for lack of response in my opinion. One blocked me. And one changed her age from 19 to 27 . Pathetic. Thanks for the help, and will accept "critiques" and debates in case I'm doing something wrong! Edited July 22, 2014 by Scrab22 got advice from outside
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