SCJACK Posted July 19, 2014 Posted July 19, 2014 (edited) Alot of us keep going in circles trying to "find the right one" but maybe it's better to just "become the right one" by making positive changes to ourselves and walking in love with everything we do, then it will attract the ones who are looking for those qualities that you deep down want in a person. When you try to find the right one chances are it won't work out because it's based off your perception.. the ooey goey love feelings and that alone will not sustain a relationship. then you get hurt and try to find the right one again and again, leading to more baggage and more hurt and more broken hearts chipping away a part of you that you carry to the "the one's relationship" then you might regret and wish you had just waited so your past isn't brought into the new loving relationship Oh yeah... love is not just the feelings you get from the way a person makes you feel... it's a choice. Unconditional love no matter the flaws in a person, but there is a difference between real love and infatuation.. once you decide which it is, you will realize you were blinded to reality or not Edited July 19, 2014 by SCJACK 2
marcjb Posted July 19, 2014 Posted July 19, 2014 (edited) I like your thoughts, but there is no such thing as TRULY unconditional love in this physical world. Any attempt of truly loving someone unconditionally, essentially turns one's self into a doormat. People will take advantage of you. You have to open your heart and love someone as much as possible, but never love someone else besides yourself unconditionally. Edited July 19, 2014 by marcjb 2
supportlove Posted July 19, 2014 Posted July 19, 2014 i love the thought.. the only unconditional love I received is from my parents. During growing up, I upset them several times. If we are not bio-tied, I guess they would broke up with me long long long time ago.. 1
Author SCJACK Posted July 19, 2014 Author Posted July 19, 2014 (edited) I like your thoughts, but there is no such thing as TRULY unconditional love in this physical world. Any attempt of truly loving someone unconditionally, essentially turns one's self into a doormat. People will take advantage of you. You have to open your heart and love someone as much as possible, but never love someone else besides yourself unconditionally. Yes, it can turn you into a doormat... if you are with the wrong person or the wrong people who you perceive them to be the right ones. But I agree, not only do you need to open your heart and love someone but also need to find balance with loving yourself as well. I'm not saying go love someone to the point you are doing crazy things to show love to someone else and you get the short end of the stick.. There are boundaries that would need to be in place. Truly unconditional love should come from the person who loves you for who you are, who accepts you as you are, and who appreciates you as well... unfortunately you don't see those people around too often... but they are out there. Edited July 19, 2014 by SCJACK
marcjb Posted July 19, 2014 Posted July 19, 2014 I have loved my ex fiancé that I broke up with "unconditionally" up until the point were she told me she "didn't feel the same way about me" after 2 1/2 years. She made a new male friend while she went back to school.
marcjb Posted July 20, 2014 Posted July 20, 2014 (edited) So, my point is that what was I supposed to do? Just suck it up and pretend all of the red flags that she created didn't exist? Love her "unconditionally" and just be more and more of a doormat just to continue the relationship? - At the beginning of our relationship, I noticed that she only had male friends. I confronted her regarding two of these friends around 6 months into our relationship. She ended up admitting that she was with each of these friends once before (with each of them a week before we met). I told her that I couldn't believe she would actually introduce me to guys that she was with before, and she ended up agreeing to cut contact with me. - The engagement ring was a family heirloom. She told me that she did not want to wear it to work because the kids were "always grabbing at her" or something along those lines. She was afraid of it either getting damaged from this, or stolen from when she was riding the train. She basically only wore it if we went on a date. The very last time we went on a date, she didn't wear it. I don't know if she just forgot, or what… but I felt slighted and I already brought it up a few times and didn't want to bring it up again. That last weekend we were together, I was actually pulling away, and she was the best she has been with me since our break. - She was emailing and texting with this guy. I never saw the texts until I recently confronted her and asked her to see them. She showed me the texts, but they were only from a day or so, she deleted the rest because she said keeping texts "makes her phone slow" (she has a Samsung Galaxy), and that she only saves all of the texts from me. She would not show me the emails. She has always kept passwords on all of her devices from the beginning of our relationship. I didn't really care because I didn't want to snoop anyway. I figured I would ask her if I ever wanted to see anything like this scenario. There were a few instances where she did go through my stuff, but I told her it was ok, and I never kept passwords on my things. - The first time I met the guy friend, it was when he invited us to a cookout he was having around July last year. She seems rather distant from me. - She told me after our break that she did confide in this guy about times she was not happy with our relationship, times that I never even knew about until we talked after our break. - She ended up telling me that before class, they would study together, and get lunch together alone. - I'm pretty sure she saw this guy when we were on break and he helped her with a kid's show. She claimed it was a "parent". No, I've learned that there is no such thing as truly unconditional love in this physical world. Not even from a parent and their child. Even if it is with a parent / child relationship, or a family member... would you still love someone if they intentionally physically injured you? I doubt it. Edited July 20, 2014 by marcjb
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