notserene Posted July 19, 2014 Posted July 19, 2014 How do you know when you are in one? How do you deal with it when one party starts to get emotionally attached, and the other one is not? Do people date others while they are in the FWB relationship? How does that work out? I'm interested in examples.
No Limit Posted July 19, 2014 Posted July 19, 2014 How do you know when you are in one? Either the guy/gal plainly asks you to be his FWB or it's more mutual and you just text each other if you're feeling pent up. How do you deal with it when one party starts to get emotionally attached, and the other one is not? You stop it for damage control, although if one party has developed feelings some disappointment is the least that will happen. Ceasing contact for a while to let things cool down would be a nice thing to do as well, or else you're just keeping their hopes up. Do people date others while they are in the FWB relationship? How does that work out? Sure they do, they're single after all. Problem 1: if one party has become too attached they'll go nuts about it. Problem 2: if you participate in more FWB sex while dating and the dated-one finds out about it, you'll most likely be single again. I'm interested in examples Can't give you an example but I've read plenty of "I want more!" and "He's still friends with his/her FWB, can I trust him/her?" kind of threads. Some people just generally distrust you if you keep your hoes around.
2.50 a gallon Posted July 19, 2014 Posted July 19, 2014 Over the years, I was in dozens of FWB's relationships. The best way to describe them, was the sex was great and neither one of us saw the other as marriage material. I was short and skinny, and most of them wanted to marry a taller guy. Also, after my divorce, I no longer trusted love and never wanted to remarry. A great many of them were divorced and had similar feelings about marriage. Many of them had a had a kid or two. All they wanted was an occasional night of hot sex, and then they would go back to being a mommy. And yes we dated others. Many of them would eventually find the guy they wanted to marry, and let me know they were getting serious and we would break it off. Funny thing, is that most of them would call me and we would have one last screw about a week before they married.
love1336x Posted July 19, 2014 Posted July 19, 2014 I was wondering the same thing! I think I am in a current friends with benefits. I'm confused because when we are in public... He holds my hand, pay for dates.... but tells me he does not want a relationship, and neither do I because I just out of of a relationship, but I must admit I do love his attention, and the way we are with each other. It feels like I am in a relationship, but without any drama!
No Limit Posted July 20, 2014 Posted July 20, 2014 Funny thing, is that most of them would call me and we would have one last screw about a week before they married. Then it isn't surprising why they were divorced sooner or later.
travelbug1996 Posted July 20, 2014 Posted July 20, 2014 fwb- childish flesh driven behavior that usually gets confusing 4
acrosstheuniverse Posted July 20, 2014 Posted July 20, 2014 All of my FWB relationships have ended either in us beginning a relationship, or one of us getting feelings the other didn't reciprocate, and the person with the feelings holding on and trying harder to win the buddy over while the buddy continues to go off and screw other people, causing great pain. Admittedly I've been the person who wasn't interested and was still seeing others, but I was always transparent about it and once I realised the buddy had serious feelings I bowed out because I knew it was just hurting them. Plus I wouldn't be too attracted to a man I started dating who was also having sex regularly with a friend of his. It's messy, it only works if you're both long term single and don't want anything more from each other, and it's rare that it works out well. 1
d0nnivain Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 How do you know when you are in one? How do you deal with it when one party starts to get emotionally attached, and the other one is not? Do people date others while they are in the FWB relationship? How does that work out? I'm interested in examples. My FWB relationships were defined as such from the beginning & both parties agreed it was pure physical lust, NSA sex. If you don't set the parameters before hand people develop expectations & somebody gets hurt. The 1st sign of emotional attachment ends all physical contact. The benefits stop & we reverted to just friends, no benefits. One time, we did both decide to have an actual relationship. Dating others varies. It's not fair to the "other" the FWB person deserves not to have it thrown in their face but they don't get a say because you aren't BF/GF
2.50 a gallon Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 No Limit In most cases the divorced women, were in pretty bad shape. Like me they had lost their trust in the opposite sex. Their ex's had turned to booze, drugs, other women, and abusing them. And now that they had kids they were doubly fearful, yet they were still young, and at times got the screaming purple hornies. The sad part, even though their Ex's had abused them, they were still on occasion having sex with them. Me being short and skinny has an advantage, as they knew I would not crush them when we were having sex. In most cases, on the nights we got together, we would go out to dinner, or dancing, (meaning they got out of the house and fixed up) and then come home to a night of passion. By having a FWB relationship with me, they learned more about sex, and most importantly, that they could have sex with someone other than their former husband. In most cases, once their self esteem had been established they moved on and found someone that they wanted to have a romantic relationship with. But being as the sex was good, they wanted one last night of their wild side. Me being single and they being newly married, our paths no longer crossed, but from what I do know, most of the second marriages were long lasting.
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