OverlyLost Posted July 19, 2014 Posted July 19, 2014 So last night my ex apologized for saying some of the most hurtful things anyone could ever say to anyone and that I've ever heard personally said to me. This morning however I woke up to a 4 message apology basically saying how sorry he was and how he only wanted to hurt me. Thing is, I have no urge to want to talk to him. I really do think that what he said was what I needed to push me to the point that I needed to get to to move on from him. I am not at all mad at him I am just glad I know the truth. I know I will never talk to him again nor doiI feel the need to. I didn't respond to his text for I feel that just I'm sorry is not enough. I don't want him to contactme anymore do you think he will go away for good if I ignore him?
emotionalMess Posted July 19, 2014 Posted July 19, 2014 Tell him its over, do not contact you again and to please respect your wishes. My ex ignored me and it left me broken with many unanswered questions in my mind. All she had to do was say the above and I would have been fine with that.
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted July 19, 2014 Posted July 19, 2014 Well thats very self assertive of you... I hope you have never said anything you havent meant...
erklat Posted July 19, 2014 Posted July 19, 2014 I left in the end. Probably it won't happen immediately because now he's bargaining and you're ostracizing him which pushes the buttons in his brain that people are yet to overcome. When we were primates being ostracized from the pack meant almost certain death. So its his survival instinct before the ratio kicks in. That could be couple of months down the line. I lived and overcame that. It is not very pleasant feeling. Maybe it's your only way but I wish you don't get the chance to taste your own medicine.
harrybrown Posted July 19, 2014 Posted July 19, 2014 You can try NC for a while. If he does not get the message, keep it short and to the point. (do not contact me again) Hope for better things in your future.
gaius Posted July 19, 2014 Posted July 19, 2014 It certainly makes me go away. At least with women I've dated.
Tbisb74 Posted July 19, 2014 Posted July 19, 2014 (edited) Hi, new member here... Just thought I would comment to this. It works, providing you can make sure he doesn't even get wind of what you are doing. It's a harsh thing to say, but he has to be 'dead' to you. Don't even look at him if you see him. is there any way you can block his calls and messages? I have read on here (lurking, sorry!) that some people even advise changing your number. Sounds like a plan. Off topic, Gaius... wasn't that an Emperor related to Caligula, and wasn't his name really Augustus? Or was that his Uncle? I'm really into Roman History, though woefully ignorant as yet. maybe we can talk by email...? Edited July 19, 2014 by Tbisb74 1
irresolute Posted July 19, 2014 Posted July 19, 2014 Text him saying it's over and ask him not to contact anymore. Do not go silent without explaining why because he'll look for you until he gets an explanation.
erklat Posted July 19, 2014 Posted July 19, 2014 Text him saying it's over and ask him not to contact anymore. Do not go silent without explaining why because he'll look for you until he gets an explanation. He won't if he has a healthy head on his shoulder. He will go away eventually from NC. Don't expect it to be the first day though I'm saying. I hate to give you advice because I was in this guy's shoes not so long ago.
mightycpa Posted July 19, 2014 Posted July 19, 2014 Text him back, accept the apology. Explain that his hurtful comments actually helped you gain some peace, and thank him for that. Tell him you don't want to be friends or anything more, even though you enjoyed the time you were together (even if it isn't true). End with something like: Good luck, no hard feelings, but don't contact me again. I've moved on, and I'm never coming back. That message gives him reason, clarity, closure and direction. And good luck to you too.
gaius Posted July 19, 2014 Posted July 19, 2014 Off topic, Gaius... wasn't that an Emperor related to Caligula, and wasn't his name really Augustus? Or was that his Uncle? I'm really into Roman History, though woefully ignorant as yet. maybe we can talk by email...? It's his uncle, the famous Gaius Julius Caesar, so you're not that ignorant to be able to pick him out from all the bald heads of history. I'll talk to you all day about Roman history. Augustusckn at gmail.com Just mention something here if you rang because I almost never check it. Overly, any attention you give him will be interpreted as wanting to talk to him. So if you really don't want to talk to him, ignore him.
Justaguy30 Posted July 20, 2014 Posted July 20, 2014 I have been on the other end of that, he really misses you and is sorry for his actions. Simply telling him to leave you alone may work but he is probably in the I have to get her back state of mind. You should call him and tell him that you are not mad but you really just want to move on with your life. You enjoyed your time with him but its just not what you want need right now.
erklat Posted July 20, 2014 Posted July 20, 2014 I have been on the other end of that, he really misses you and is sorry for his actions. Simply telling him to leave you alone may work but he is probably in the I have to get her back state of mind. You should call him and tell him that you are not mad but you really just want to move on with your life. You enjoyed your time with him but its just not what you want need right now. ^this. I was in that state of mind for months believing that it can be fixed and the relationship saved. Ignore him best. He'll get the message eventually. But God damn, I lost almost a year of my life in that haze .
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