clairedunham Posted July 19, 2014 Posted July 19, 2014 I know I've been here lots of times and a lot of people have given me advice here that's great. My ex boyfriend with whom I've been broken up with still says I need to over some my insecurities. He said they were the worst and brought him down and I did get us into a lot of fights. The problem here is : Why can't I see my own self-worth? My ex boyfriend who still says and I quotes "You are the one for me. I don't want anybody else. All I want for you is to see how great you are. I don't have eyes for anybody but you. Calls me beautiful." etc etc et. I always doubt him and always ask him about this specific girl. He denies there's anything going on with her, that he doesn't like her, is not attracted to her etc etc. This goes on everyday over the phone. I am super insecure to the extreme it is pathetic. Every call, text, whatever he gets I think is this girl and the only thing he has done is add her on FB and I saw he liked 2 pictures of her, because her profiles pictures are public. How can I overcome this insecurities so we can be happy? I cry everyday thinking he talks to her or hangs out with her.
Simon Phoenix Posted July 19, 2014 Posted July 19, 2014 The fact that you are still in contact with your ex-boyfriend is a perfect example of your insecurities. You'll never be secure until you can stand on your own two feet instead of orbiting around a man who rejected you long ago. 1
Author clairedunham Posted July 19, 2014 Author Posted July 19, 2014 The fact that you are still in contact with your ex-boyfriend is a perfect example of your insecurities. You'll never be secure until you can stand on your own two feet instead of orbiting around a man who rejected you long ago. Then why does he say these things?
Simon Phoenix Posted July 19, 2014 Posted July 19, 2014 Then why does he say these things? Because he can. You are more than excited to be his backup plan, so he knows that he has you in a pinch if he needs a pick-me-up. He can tell you whatever he wants because he knows you are going to sit there like a puppy dog lapping it up. Honestly, your situation will never improve until you develop the strength and courage to be your own person independent of him. The same problems that you had when you were posting before still exist because you haven't detached. And if you continue to orbit, they'll continue. 1
Author clairedunham Posted July 19, 2014 Author Posted July 19, 2014 Because he can. You are more than excited to be his backup plan, so he knows that he has you in a pinch if he needs a pick-me-up. He can tell you whatever he wants because he knows you are going to sit there like a puppy dog lapping it up. Honestly, your situation will never improve until you develop the strength and courage to be your own person independent of him. The same problems that you had when you were posting before still exist because you haven't detached. And if you continue to orbit, they'll continue. I cant stop crying because everything you say is true. I just cant lose someone as wonderful as him. I literally cry everyday it is so draining but I put up with it.
Simon Phoenix Posted July 19, 2014 Posted July 19, 2014 I cant stop crying because everything you say is true. I just cant lose someone as wonderful as him. I literally cry everyday it is so draining but I put up with it. I'm sorry you are crying, but you need to stop avoiding reality. You have lost him and you'll never get him back, or get anyone else, until you let go. You are chasing a ghost right now. It's simple -- you have to stop being in contact. Until then, this is your reality. 1
supportlove Posted July 19, 2014 Posted July 19, 2014 i think you should tell him you are going to work on yourself and stop contact him for a while. He will understand it. Then, really work on yourself, feel good about yourself. once your confidence level's up. Ask him out for a drink.
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted July 19, 2014 Posted July 19, 2014 I know I've been here lots of times and a lot of people have given me advice here that's great. My ex boyfriend with whom I've been broken up with still says I need to over some my insecurities. He said they were the worst and brought him down and I did get us into a lot of fights. The problem here is : Why can't I see my own self-worth? My ex boyfriend who still says and I quotes "You are the one for me. I don't want anybody else. All I want for you is to see how great you are. I don't have eyes for anybody but you. Calls me beautiful." etc etc et. I always doubt him and always ask him about this specific girl. He denies there's anything going on with her, that he doesn't like her, is not attracted to her etc etc. This goes on everyday over the phone. I am super insecure to the extreme it is pathetic. Every call, text, whatever he gets I think is this girl and the only thing he has done is add her on FB and I saw he liked 2 pictures of her, because her profiles pictures are public. How can I overcome this insecurities so we can be happy? I cry everyday thinking he talks to her or hangs out with her. I'm going to give you the same advice I gave you months ago: STOP TALKING TO HIM and let it go. It doesnt matter what he says or does.
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