NuclearNinjaKitty Posted July 18, 2014 Posted July 18, 2014 Hi everyone, I've been on and off this site for years. Don't think I ever had a profile or posted before though. I'm 33 years old and I live in Mesa, AZ. The love of my life just told me he doesn't love me anymore and doesn't want to be in a relationship with me anymore. We've been together 2.5 years (he's 27) and for the first year, we had some big blow up fights while he was living with me (he had an ex who tricked him into thinking he had a kid for like 3 years, then she took the kid and got with the real dad once she found out my bf and I were together. MESSY drama, caused us a lot of fights). Anyway, January 2013 he left and bought a house after a fight we had. I rented my house and moved in with him in July 2013. We don't hardly fight anymore, but I have felt a lot of distance lately (he's a total extrovert/life of the party guy). I guess it was naturally growing apart? Anyway I started asking him for more attention recently, and he was trying to do that for me. Then we had a huge fight Saturday. That afternoon, he was telling me how much he loved me. Now, he says after that fight and all the others, he's done. He's really done. I am just devastated. I thought this guy was my forever. I'm moving out right now; he's at work. He said he'll be home in a few hours. He's been very nice to me, talking like normal, even cooked me a sandwich last night. But I know we're over. I don't know why I'm posting this. I will be out of here tomorrow, and I believe him that he doesn't love me "like that" anymore. I just don't know what to do. I'm utterly broken right now.
loversquarrel Posted July 18, 2014 Posted July 18, 2014 I had a "love of my life" a few years back shortly after my divorce. It was a whirlwind of drama and fights - but when it was good, it was REALLY good. I felt like she was the one, then shortly after I uncovered a plethora of lies and serious issues. It killed me, it was so hard but I had to end it. Within a few weeks I found myself missing the good times more than missing her. Now I have someone who is stable and treats me exceptionally well, I am lucky. My point to this is that while you two may have some really good times together which produced some really good feelings, you also had some equally bad times together. When you read your own post you will discover just how enlightened you will become, and you will begin to see just how unhealthy your relationship actually is. P.S. - My ex GF was also the "life of the party extrovert type", and not very good at dealing with other peoples feelings.
irresolute Posted July 18, 2014 Posted July 18, 2014 It's not the love of your life. The love of your life will be the next one 1
mightycpa Posted July 18, 2014 Posted July 18, 2014 It's not the love of your life. The love of your life will be the next one Or maybe the one after that!:laugh:
Author NuclearNinjaKitty Posted July 19, 2014 Author Posted July 19, 2014 We talked last night as I was moving out. He said he's sorry, but he doesn't feel bad and he's not "feeling it." He said he doesn't see forever with me and I'm psycho. This last fight we had, he said it all hit him that he doesn't love me anymore. I'm sitting in a hotel room right now thinking about suicide. I'm so sad.
irresolute Posted July 19, 2014 Posted July 19, 2014 Call 911 or the suicide line: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
mightycpa Posted July 19, 2014 Posted July 19, 2014 Well don't do that, because it's not helpful to anyone, including you. You're only 33, and there is an entire world of people out there. You need to call somebody now who cares about you, and have them come sit with you. If you're suicide thoughts are strong, call a suicide hotline. Whatever you do, don't do it. While you're waiting for your friend to come over, you should write down all the reasons you love this guy. Write them down here in this thread. Don't use words like "wonderful"... that doesn't mean anything, "He's the most wonderful person in the world." First of all, I'm sure he isn't, and second of all, nobody knows what you mean by that. Dig a little, and tell us what you mean so that anybody who reads it will understand. This exercise will help you understand yourself, and it should help point you in the right direction. Once you put your head in charge over your heart, you can begin walking this long road to independence. Just about everybody here has lost the person they were sure was "the love of their lives". Some are still convinced they are, but know how to live without them. You can do what some of us have done, and what some of us are doing. You have to hang in there, IT WILL GET BETTER.
SummerDreams Posted July 19, 2014 Posted July 19, 2014 People who really, honestly and whole heartedly love someone don't stop loving them. This guy was in love with you and it ended for him. This is what you have to be thinking, that he didn't love you like you loved him and therefore he was not your forever. Your forever has yet to come and I'm sure you will get through this break up and find him sooner or later. Don't blame yourself, blame your ex who is not capable of truly loving someone. Good luck girl.
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