oberkeat Posted July 18, 2014 Posted July 18, 2014 So this girl who stood me up last week (I made no contact with her after the no-show) sent me a long email. She apologized for being rude and inconsiderate, said she had been stressed with work but had no right to do that, etc., and asked how I'm doing. She said if I'm still interested, she would like another chance, but if not, she understands. I'm on the fence. I'm not sure how to respond. After the no show, I had pretty much accepted it as lack of interest and I moved on to chatting with other girls. Things seemed to be going places before she flaked on me; I liked her and we seemed to have much in common. But I don't want to get taken advantage of/waste my time with someone who isn't really into me. Suggestions?
ThorntonMelon Posted July 18, 2014 Posted July 18, 2014 I'd go on the date. It's a date, nothing more. Next flake out and lose her number and email. 1
Elle1975 Posted July 18, 2014 Posted July 18, 2014 A lot of people gets stressed over work, they at least take the time to cancel before the date. I wouldn't give her another shot no. She didn't cancel, she pulled a no show. 3
rewl Posted July 18, 2014 Posted July 18, 2014 She stood you up and you're unsure whether or not to be with her? What do you think is the common sense answer? 1
Gaeta Posted July 18, 2014 Posted July 18, 2014 Go, give her the benefit of the doubt. You like her, she gave you a felt apology, you have nothing to lose. What else did you plan to do on that night? watch tv!
smackie9 Posted July 18, 2014 Posted July 18, 2014 Nope no date. She is inconsiderate as a person in general. Do you want to have a relationship with someone like that? RE her: If you have time to spend a few mins sitting on the toilet, you have time to make a text....no excuses unless you are in the hospital unconscious or dead.
deathandtaxes Posted July 18, 2014 Posted July 18, 2014 Make the location a place you would want to go by yourself - that way if she does flake again, you'll at least be able to enjoy yourself!
HappyLove Posted July 18, 2014 Posted July 18, 2014 Something tells me you were very attentive to her and she took that for granted and going no contact as you should made her come crawling back. I wouldn't give her another chance, 'People show you who they are the first time, believe them' Dr Maya Angelou! Giving people like this another chance only sets you up for greater heartache because by the time they flake on you AGAIN, which will happen, you will have become more attached. I mean she didn't even show up just left you there looking stupid. If she apologized that night maybe I could see but it took her a week to even acknowledge you?! She's a jerk and it's nothing more than her number one prospect ditched her so she's desperate for some attention. 1
Gaeta Posted July 18, 2014 Posted July 18, 2014 (edited) It was not a real stood up. OP did not drive anywhere to meet her. He communicated with her ahead of time (the day before) to confirm plans and she did not replied. It's really weak from her I agree but she did not have him wait for her some place on due-date. Because of her silence to confirm plans OP knew the date was off. Edited July 18, 2014 by Gaeta
Diezel Posted July 18, 2014 Posted July 18, 2014 So she flakes on you... and THEN apologizes... through EMAIL? Think about it. It's a rhetorical question.
HappyLove Posted July 18, 2014 Posted July 18, 2014 It was not a real stood up. OP did not drive anywhere to meet her. He communicated with her ahead of time (the day before) to confirm plans and she did not replied. It's really weak from her I agree but she did not have him wait for her some place on due-date. Because of her silence to confirm plans OP knew the date was off. "So this girl who stood me up last week (I made no contact with her after the no-show) sent me a long email." OP, needs to explain what really happened then.
soccerrprp Posted July 18, 2014 Posted July 18, 2014 You were Plan B Yup, the less interesting choice... 1. She could EASILY have contacted you prior to date about rescheduling 2. She could EASILY have apologized minutes/hours after or the next day, not a week She had someone else she was hoping for... 1
Author oberkeat Posted July 18, 2014 Author Posted July 18, 2014 (edited) It was not a real stood up. OP did not drive anywhere to meet her. He communicated with her ahead of time (the day before) to confirm plans and she did not replied. It's really weak from her I agree but she did not have him wait for her some place on due-date. Because of her silence to confirm plans OP knew the date was off. That's right. Gaeta was referring to a previous post I made on this same situation last week. On Thursday I had offered to take her out to dinner for Saturday, which the gal initially said sounded good. However, more than 24 hours after I sent a text asking to confirm the details (restaurant, time, etc,) she still didn't reply. I sent her another text early on Saturday (to be the day of the date), just asking if she still wanted to meet up. She didn't respond, so the date didn't happen. I wasn't standing outside the river cafe waiting for a date that never showed, but I still looked at the radio silence as being stood up. At any rate, it was flaky behavior on her part. Everyone has made some very good points. Edited July 18, 2014 by oberkeat
LostOnes05 Posted July 18, 2014 Posted July 18, 2014 Nope, she doesn't get a date. She didn't respect you, your time, or your efforts to plan a date. I would send a nice reply to her email though. I'd say something like "I'm doing great! Thanks for asking. I really appreciate the apology. I hope that we can develop a friendship in the near future. Best wishes!" Don't burn the bridge just yet, she might have friends you're interested in...haha!
Mrin Posted July 18, 2014 Posted July 18, 2014 Honestly? No date. Not unless you just want to try to get laid. She sounds flakey and inconsiderate. I wouldn't even reply.
Author oberkeat Posted July 19, 2014 Author Posted July 19, 2014 (edited) Honestly? No date. Not unless you just want to try to get laid. She sounds flakey and inconsiderate. I wouldn't even reply. Yes, the sex is really the only reason I'd consider seeing her again...which obviously doesn't make me look very good. Edited July 19, 2014 by oberkeat
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