lostinlove0479 Posted February 22, 2005 Posted February 22, 2005 I currently just got out of a situation with this guy I'd been dating for the past 7 mths. Just found out he's been having a gf the whole time and instead of telling me, he did the whole avoid me deal. I found out the deal from a friend of his who assumed I knew all this time. Anyway, it's taken a few weeks to sort thru that whole ordeal but I'm ready to move on. So, there's this guy who works in I.T. at my job. I've been interested in him and have noticed him the entire time I've been working here (1.5 yrs) but I've always been dealing with someone else and never been able to express my interest in him. We know eachother and speak in passing but we've never really held a conversation. I just think he's really cute and I get a good vibe from him. He seems like the type of guy I could be into. I've never had to approach a guy before and I don't want it to be awkward. I really just wanna start a friendship and see what happens from there. I know a couple of other guys that work in I.T. and I'm gonna ask them if he has a girl and I guess start from there. It's so odd for me b/c it would be easier if he flirted with me or anything but he hasn't. So, I'm kinda scared of the rejection part, ya know. I'm a pretty girl so I hear and I hope he thinks so too. Any advice.
crbelljn Posted February 22, 2005 Posted February 22, 2005 I do not recommend you to ask him out. Let him ask you. Find a way to star a conversation with him. Ask him questions and look interested in him. If he likes you he will ask you out as soon as he sees you are interested.
razor Posted February 22, 2005 Posted February 22, 2005 These suggestions are from a guys (which is me) perspective. 1. Don't make any assumptions. Just because he has not flirted with you does not mean he is not interested. He could be shy or intimitated or gay(just kidding...well you never know..) 2. Do you guys have anything in common that could start a conversation? If not than go to suggestion 3. 3. Ask him he has free time to go for Coffee to discuss a personal IT problem. And you don't want to get into it at work. If he wants to know what the problem is than tell him it is top secret and can't be disclosed at the office because you are being watched. (this guy better have a sense of humor.)If he is interested he will bite. If he does not... and says that he can help you at the office. Than it doesn't look good. Oh yeah if he does go for the coffee thing than make some bull**** IT problem. Like..... " How do you turn on the computer?" or think of something more eloborate. 4. Use humor and be confident 5. If he does not respond don't take it personally. Good luck
Author lostinlove0479 Posted February 22, 2005 Author Posted February 22, 2005 I was thinking more along the lines of not necessarily asking him out but just letting him know I'm interested. Guess I titled this wrong. But, like I said in my original question, we don't really see eachother often, only when he comes over to my dept. to fix something or sometimes I stop by his area to pick up a report. I thank both of you for ur ideas. And your right crb, that I'd prefer him to do the asking after I show I'm interested. I don't really wanna play the game, I might just put it out there, "Hey, I'd really like to get to know u cuz you seem like a cool guy. So, here's my number...if you're interested give me a call." How does that sound?? I'm no good at this...It's like I'm afraid of the rejection but at the same time, he doesn't seem like the type to run around work saying guess who likes me and who I turned down. I think it would be our little secret. lostinlove
Sckott Posted February 22, 2005 Posted February 22, 2005 I like your idea. Give him your number, see if he bites.
jcanuck Posted February 22, 2005 Posted February 22, 2005 Don't bring up your personal IT problems to start a conversation or as a common interest. I work in IT and get these personal questions all the time. Some may be people trying to be friendly but we eventually started responding to these questions all the same... just giving the best advice possible and leaving it at that. Try a little more flirting or find another common interest that you can drop suttle hints about the two of you doing something out side of work. And leave it for him to ask.
Hund1976 Posted February 22, 2005 Posted February 22, 2005 Some people are pretty dense. I would go with the more open give him your number approach. I've had girls act flirty with me at work and then later find out they have boyfriends and stuff. So I just assumed they were bored and liked the attention. So I wouldn't necessarily ask out every girl that ever flirted with me. Anyway go for it, what have you got to lose?
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