Mrlonelyone Posted July 25, 2014 Posted July 25, 2014 Early 30's sounds like it's more likely she has more mature boundaries...but let me ask this, how much influence do you think her friends have on her intimate life. With much younger women it is often the case that friends have veto power over these decisions. They are immature, and don't yet realize that except for one or two CLOSE friends most of them don't actually stick around and are less significant than our lovers and relationships. Is your GF mature enough to tell her friends to mind their own business if they try to get them back together? Is this EX someone that was part of some kind of a clique that these friends are/were a part of? i.e. in College or something. (I have seen it many times where a relationship that makes sense in college and on or near campus just does not work outside that context at all.) Her friends that are also the Ex's friends may be the real problem. Is your GF willing to loose a couple of, really not all that good, friends because she chose you? IME younger or emotionally immature women don't do that. I find that highly unlikely they'd be friends. I mean I don't have female friends tag me at their place then hit like on it late at night. Sounds petty but it gives the very real impression she was still with the guy. I mean half her friends hit like on it.. when we changed status to "in a relationship" guess what.. none of her friends hit like on that. You can tell a lot by people's facebook activity at certain times. We are in our early 30's facebook shouldn't be an issue but it is thanks to her. When we met I asked her about facebook and she claimed never to be on it. She's was on it 24-7 which I found very strange. The issue is she never set boundaries that I'm aware of with the guy. She thought and still thinks it was fine to maintain contact with him and even meet him and maintain there was nothing going on. Maybe there wasn't while I was with her but it just doesn't sit right with me. Here's the thing I've been single since last year. When the lady last year told an obvious lie I questioned it and I felt it was another lie. I pondered it for a few days then left her and told her why. This one I haven't bailed on as fast because I let my guard down. I agree that she was doing the monkey branch thing, jumping form ex to new bf and maybe she only just finally ended it properly with her ex now she feels secure on this branch. But my question now is do I want to wait until she finds another branch? Will she find another branch? That's not a chance I want to take with this one. I just wanted a sane, single, no drama, compatible woman that actually wanted a relationship, one on one without any contaminants. I don't think I need to use her in any way shape or form to get another woman. Getting another woman isn't difficult it's getting the right one that isn't going to f00k with your head or play games of any sort that's near impossible.
Author longjohn Posted July 25, 2014 Author Posted July 25, 2014 Early 30's sounds like it's more likely she has more mature boundaries...but let me ask this, how much influence do you think her friends have on her intimate life. With much younger women it is often the case that friends have veto power over these decisions. They are immature, and don't yet realize that except for one or two CLOSE friends most of them don't actually stick around and are less significant than our lovers and relationships. Is your GF mature enough to tell her friends to mind their own business if they try to get them back together? Is this EX someone that was part of some kind of a clique that these friends are/were a part of? i.e. in College or something. (I have seen it many times where a relationship that makes sense in college and on or near campus just does not work outside that context at all.) Her friends that are also the Ex's friends may be the real problem. Is your GF willing to loose a couple of, really not all that good, friends because she chose you? IME younger or emotionally immature women don't do that. Unknown what her friends in general can influence. I have met a few of her closest friends and to be honest I wasn't a fan. One of them never shut her hole when we met. Then claimed I hardly spoke.. I wonder why lol. I don't believe they where overly thrilled by me in part because I got the impression her friends would try and one up her almost constantly. It was if they where acting like "well my husband/bf is better than yours". That's the impression I got without those words being exchanged. The ex is a guy she met a few years ago, they didn't meet at uni or anything like that. I get the impression so far she's willing to dump the ex off facebook and face the consequences (if any) from her friends and ex for doing so for me. But it feels like too little too late to me.
Mrlonelyone Posted July 25, 2014 Posted July 25, 2014 Unknown what her friends in general can influence. I have met a few of her closest friends and to be honest I wasn't a fan. One of them never shut her hole when we met. Then claimed I hardly spoke.. I wonder why lol. Yeah, that's quite possible. You see many people don't consider it rude to interject. I don't believe they where overly thrilled by me in part because I got the impression her friends would try and one up her almost constantly. It was if they where acting like "well my husband/bf is better than yours". That's the impression I got without those words being exchanged. Women do that all the time. Part of it is trying to one up each other, part of it is sort of defending their mans honor. They do it on many fronts. If the woman's love for her man is mature love then if her man is someone their friends don't like they will still like their man. If the woman's love is immature they will choose a man for the whole "me too" effect. (The same reason that groups of Teenage girl friends tend to get pregnant in clusters.) Men feel similar pressure but they are far less specific. No man wants to be the only unmarried person without a girlfriend. Until they have an Ex wife. The ex is a guy she met a few years ago, they didn't meet at uni or anything like that. I get the impression so far she's willing to dump the ex off facebook and face the consequences (if any) from her friends and ex for doing so for me. But it feels like too little too late to me. Why not give her a chance. Unless you have concrete evidence of actual cheating. See if she really will do this to make you feel good. One more thing, if you like this girl try to get her friends to like you.
Author longjohn Posted July 25, 2014 Author Posted July 25, 2014 (edited) Yeah, that's quite possible. You see many people don't consider it rude to interject. Women do that all the time. Part of it is trying to one up each other, part of it is sort of defending their mans honor. They do it on many fronts. If the woman's love for her man is mature love then if her man is someone their friends don't like they will still like their man. If the woman's love is immature they will choose a man for the whole "me too" effect. (The same reason that groups of Teenage girl friends tend to get pregnant in clusters.) Men feel similar pressure but they are far less specific. No man wants to be the only unmarried person without a girlfriend. Until they have an Ex wife. Why not give her a chance. Unless you have concrete evidence of actual cheating. See if she really will do this to make you feel good. One more thing, if you like this girl try to get her friends to like you. Women are strange creatures alright lol. Oh I have an ex wife, last thing I wanted was another relationship yet here I am.. years later. Well I thought if her mother liked me the friends would have been easy lol. One of the friends I'm not going to like ever and I've told her that. I've no concrete evidence of cheating. All I have is her word for it and she told me before she didn't talk/see him yet she did so her word means $hite to me now. Edited July 25, 2014 by longjohn
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