i am in love with someone who has chosen someone else.

[cartoonlove]

hi,

i face a dilemma here, i am in love with a girl and she has a boyfriend. this girl an i are really good friends an we understand one an other. but she keeps herself true to her boyfriend. i told her how i felt about her and she told me she wanted to be committed. she believes she is in love with him an he with her, who am i to question ? but i always hoped ,an one day it seemed that i was getting what i wanted an that she was going to break up with him an obviously i was the choice next. but when she tried it, she ended up only going back to him. she says he is better now an obviously i am heart broken. it bothers me. this girl is a natural introvert an her life revolves around very few people. i have become that new guy she now knows soo well. i get the feeling she cannot let him go and soo now she forces herself to believe she is in love. again this is something i cannot be certain about. i don't want to be that guy who cannot let go. but everytime i think i should just move on, i get the feeling i shouldn't. i am really stuck. she wants me to move on cause she doesn't believe she will leave him. logically speakin i should be. i hate myself for putting myself through this. i know she has certain feelings for me an she misses me. i am afraid if i let her go i may do it for good.

 

i would really appreciate any kind of advice or experience anyone can share.

i thank you in advance .

 

thank you:(

[Philosoraptor]

All you can do is respect her wishes. It takes two to tango and unfortunately for you she is not interested.

 

If it brings you pain then you need to step away from her for awhile until you've let this crush go. You can't be "just friends" with someone you have greater feelings for.

[FoolishMan]

If you cannot cut ties, then you need to halt contact for a while to realise your situation. It is an incredibly difficult position to be in and I do know what you mean when you say you know you must move on but there is a feeling that you shouldn't. That is your heart speaking but you need to over rule it with your head.

 

If she is content with her man, you are on a hiding to nothing and extreme emotional turmoil!

 

Good luck!

[d0nnivain]

Unrequited love . . it can be very painful.

 

In the short term you need to put some distance between you & her. You don't have to cut her completely out of your life but step back so you have time to recover. In time you will get over her, especially if you find a GF of your own.

[whichwayisup]

You have no choice but to let go. Stop giving yourself hope, don't let your emotions rule over your better judgement. You know what's what. She has told you she is in love with her boyfriend and not leaving him. Accept that, as painful as it is, that's the reality of your situation.

 

Give yourself time and space to grieve. Let that dream of having her die, it's not going to happen.

 

Sorry you're hurting. Try to keep as busy as you can, detach from her and hopefully soon your heart will close off from her.