AnneT1985 Posted July 18, 2014 Posted July 18, 2014 (edited) Hi y'all! How are ya doing? I have a question please that I hope makes sense. I have someone in my life now not by choice who I think is very passive aggressive and likes to stir the pot, behind a very sweet smile and "good intentions". Every "nice" thing seems to have some sort of agenda behind it. It's rather uncomfortable. How do you deal with such an individual, or do you try and deal with them as little as possible? Why do some people do this? Thanks so much y'all! xx Edited July 18, 2014 by AnneT1985
tnimbus Posted July 19, 2014 Posted July 19, 2014 Hi AnneT:) If your gut is poking you, saying "something isn't right here"..(the uncomfortableness)..listen to it. Try to remain as neutral as you can with the person, and don't get sucked into their pot-stirring..or agendas. Only give them neutral energy. If you can limit time with them, that helps. 1
travelbug1996 Posted July 20, 2014 Posted July 20, 2014 passive aggressive people are the worst most cowardice kind. I stay clear of them at all cost. They are not to be trusted since they have no ability to express themselves honestly. Run don't walk. 1
angel.eyes Posted July 20, 2014 Posted July 20, 2014 How do you deal with such an individual, or do you try and deal with them as little as possible? I disengage while remaining pleasant and sociable...social teflon when they try to involve me. In general, I'm direct with others, and value and respect that in others' interactions with me. This behavioral style is the antithesis of that, so I also limit contact to the extent possible. Why do some people do this? At some level, they feel it works for them. In the past, it has probably been an effective tool in getting what they want in the short-term. They may be blind to the negative consequences (alienating others, weakening relationships, etc.) 1
2sunny Posted July 20, 2014 Posted July 20, 2014 Can you give an example of what this person does that's passive aggressive?
BeingMe Posted July 20, 2014 Posted July 20, 2014 Technically, if they know what they're doing behind your back it's not passive aggression, it's concealed aggression. I've recently discovered that someone in my circle is like this, to a poisonous degree! I've started: - Being surface pleasant but avoiding them where possible. - Not giving them any personal information/ammunition. Unfortunately, you can't always avoid this all together because others may chat to them and reveal things,that they can then turn against you. - If at all possible, don't let them into your house. My person decided to make a malicious report to CPS about my house - easily proven to be groundless (bonkers to say what they did ) - but it was a truly horrible & scary experience, which, for a time, made me feel like never letting someone through my door again. - Never saying anything negative in their presence or agree in any way with anything negative that they say...they will put the words in your mouth even if you didn't say them. - Understand that they will just make some things up. - Understand that they will distort normal events to make you look 'bad' - They really hate themselves and project it onto others. Others become the competition. If you're being targeted, it's usually because they are jealous of you for some reason. So refuse to hide, be lovely and have confidence that you have something they want. 1
Author AnneT1985 Posted July 20, 2014 Author Posted July 20, 2014 Technically, if they know what they're doing behind your back it's not passive aggression, it's concealed aggression. I've recently discovered that someone in my circle is like this, to a poisonous degree! I've started: - Being surface pleasant but avoiding them where possible. - Not giving them any personal information/ammunition. Unfortunately, you can't always avoid this all together because others may chat to them and reveal things,that they can then turn against you. - If at all possible, don't let them into your house. My person decided to make a malicious report to CPS about my house - easily proven to be groundless (bonkers to say what they did ) - but it was a truly horrible & scary experience, which, for a time, made me feel like never letting someone through my door again. - Never saying anything negative in their presence or agree in any way with anything negative that they say...they will put the words in your mouth even if you didn't say them. - Understand that they will just make some things up. - Understand that they will distort normal events to make you look 'bad' - They really hate themselves and project it onto others. Others become the competition. If you're being targeted, it's usually because they are jealous of you for some reason. So refuse to hide, be lovely and have confidence that you have something they want. I'm so sorry to hear that happened to you!
Author AnneT1985 Posted July 20, 2014 Author Posted July 20, 2014 (edited) Can you give an example of what this person does that's passive aggressive? Just one example is my post from Feb 12 titled "What do y'all think?" Edited July 20, 2014 by AnneT1985
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