preraph Posted August 1, 2014 Posted August 1, 2014 Freaking out over lulls in texting seems completely crazy to me. I think we should go back to families with only one phone per household so young people with nothing better to do but text all day couldn't ruin so many relationships being needy and demanding about getting texts returned. I really think doing this one thing would solve a lot of your problems: Get a full-time job somewhere that bans use of smartphones during work hours. 1
Author crazybestie101 Posted August 1, 2014 Author Posted August 1, 2014 No.. it's passive aggressive. It means "I was waiting by my phone, but you didn't message me. Are you ignoring me?" Leave it alone. yes , may be you are right.. But i honestly didnt think that deeply about that line. I just said it. Well, last night when he apologized for not replying me , i thought it would be okay to text him after 12 hours. But oh well i am out and leave it here.
Author crazybestie101 Posted August 7, 2014 Author Posted August 7, 2014 Highlight of story: He is my crush.I met him in another state , in gym ( his work). i started convo , got his number. We spoke in person he seemed to enjoy it. Now we are long distance. In beginning we used to text all day and whenever he replied late,he would always apologize. He is 3 years younger than me. He is traditional guy. He seems to agree with my life style. I haven't heard from him after this conversation: Me : hey, whatcha doing? After 10 hours he replies Him: hey, whats up. hows everything? I didn't wanted to act needy so i waited 10 hours to reply (stupid me ). Me: hey , just moved in to this new place bla bla .. been to gym but i didnt see you there any hoo how are ya? what you do besides work? Its been more than 24 hours but nothing from him. I am making post here so i don't freak out and go on flooding his phone. There could be many reason to him not replying: May be he is busy , may be he forgot to reply, may be he is not big in texting. He told me he isn't big fan of social media. May be he is testing if i go crazy and ask him his whereabouts. May be he is not interested in me. In this case , i would be okay and will let go. But why wont he just tell me that on face? I feel like he was just being nice to me and replying my text. But at the end of all this i do want to let him know that i am interested in knowing him better but if he isn't okay with it. I will respect his wishes and let him go. People please share your views here. Sorry, for long post. I understand whatever you all have to say but i do like this guy despite of all situations.
Zahara Posted August 7, 2014 Posted August 7, 2014 (edited) OP, he's 19. He just finished highschool. Yes, you both used to chat in person and enjoy it but the novelty has worn off now that there is no face-to-face. You can't sustain the excitement and interest especially when you both never even really bonded and the distance doesn't make it any better. He seems to agree with your lifestyle? Why? He said he would move to the east coast? You both don't even know each other to be making life-changing decisions like that. Honestly, you're really not going to get much from this. I think you've magnified this and idealized it to be something based on that little interaction you had with him at the gym. He doesn't sound interested nor does he seem to have the emotional capacity to sustain this. You said he is not a big fan of social media? You asked to be a friend on FB and he said no because you may freak out with what you see. He probably doesn't want you invading or having too much access into his life. Let him go? You never had him in the first place. Keep him around if you want but with very little expectations or move on. Edited August 7, 2014 by Zahara 1
smackie9 Posted August 7, 2014 Posted August 7, 2014 You ain't doing anything to turn him on so he's not going to be interested in you. Sounds to me he's got better things to do with his time than chit chating over text messaging with some chick he met at the gym. If he is someone you think is special, you need to put some effort into it, like asking him out, dressing up sexy, flirt with him to let him know you will have sex with him some time. I hopw you asked him if he was single before you exchanged numbers. 1
smackie9 Posted August 7, 2014 Posted August 7, 2014 He works at a gym and he's 19....he probably has a pocket full of girls phone numbers.
Author crazybestie101 Posted August 7, 2014 Author Posted August 7, 2014 OP, he's 19. He just finished highschool. Yes, you both used to chat in person and enjoy it but the novelty has worn off now that there is no face-to-face. You can't sustain the excitement and interest especially when you both never even really bonded and the distance doesn't make it any better. He seems to agree with your lifestyle? Why? He said he would move to the east coast? You both don't even know each other to be making life-changing decisions like that. Honestly, you're really not going to get much from this. I think you've magnified this and idealized it to be something based on that little interaction you had with him at the gym. He doesn't sound interested nor does he seem to have the emotional capacity to sustain this. You said he is not a big fan of social media? You asked to be a friend on FB and he said no because you may freak out with what you see. He probably doesn't want you invading or having too much access into his life. Let him go? You never had him in the first place. Keep him around if you want but with very little expectations or move on. I better let this go because i dont want to drag this any longer. But about his FB , he said he doesnt want me to freak out . He also said lets start with exchanging phone numbers and we will go on from that.
Author crazybestie101 Posted August 7, 2014 Author Posted August 7, 2014 He works at a gym and he's 19....he probably has a pocket full of girls phone numbers. This could be one big possibility but he recently started working , same time as i joined gym. He works night shift and there aren't many girls coming in late nights. I have spoke to him and it seems like he is very traditional guy,always doing his work. He may be introvert , not so sure. He doesn't seem to be player but i cant be so sure.
Author crazybestie101 Posted August 7, 2014 Author Posted August 7, 2014 You ain't doing anything to turn him on so he's not going to be interested in you. Sounds to me he's got better things to do with his time than chit chating over text messaging with some chick he met at the gym. If he is someone you think is special, you need to put some effort into it, like asking him out, dressing up sexy, flirt with him to let him know you will have sex with him some time. I hopw you asked him if he was single before you exchanged numbers. I want to do everything you suggested but we are long distance :/
Author crazybestie101 Posted August 8, 2014 Author Posted August 8, 2014 He just messaged me back few hours ago with an apology. He reminded me how bad texter he is. I found out that we are only 2 years apart. We have been texting , he is working yet talking to me. I like how he listens to my every stupid talk and actually response and keep the conversation going..
Zahara Posted August 8, 2014 Posted August 8, 2014 He just messaged me back few hours ago with an apology. He reminded me how bad texter he is. I found out that we are only 2 years apart. We have been texting , he is working yet talking to me. I like how he listens to my every stupid talk and actually response and keep the conversation going.. You need to keep your expectations to a minimum and be very realistic about this. Otherwise it is going to drive you nuts, as it already is. At this point, treat him as a casual friend in your mind and don't get so affected when he doesn't respond. You should also be going out there and dating, meeting people, etc. versus solely focusing on this guy. You should be living life instead of crippling yourself because a 19 year old guy you hardly know hasn't responded in 24 hours. I'm not being mean but trying to get you to feel more empowered and not feel so dependent on this guy.
Author crazybestie101 Posted August 13, 2014 Author Posted August 13, 2014 So finally my long distance crush has reached its end. We have been texting back and forth and he has opened up a lot. So yesterday ,i ask him if he lives with roommates. And he goes like he lives with roommates and with his boyfriend. First, i thought he was trolling but NO it was REAL. OMG did he just tell me he is gay? My world crashed and it seemed like someone just stabbed me. I have always heard about stories of people's having crush on gay guys or bf turning gay later on. But man i never thought it would happen to me. I was so bummed on not finding out early. Mind you i have closely worked with gay people so i know how they act and stuff lol but this guy never acted like one. I am totally cool with gays and infact i have couple gay friends. But man after learning this i just died little inside and broke into tears. He was supportive about this entire time. He told me how this happens all time and i will find nice guy and stuff. He told me he didnt want to assume anything so he didnt tell me earlier. And he told me i can still get to know him better but of course as " friends" Did anyone of you got in such situation?
newmoon Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 yep, it has happened to me once. bf was too metro for my liking but i was ok with it for a while, it was great he was super clean and tidy. but alas, after 3 years i pretty much confirmed he was a closet gay. i kinda knew all along, women have good instincts overall i think
Zahara Posted August 14, 2014 Posted August 14, 2014 Maybe that's why he didn't want to let you into FB -- as he stated you would be "freaked out." You might have learned the truth sooner versus going this far and making all those plans in your head about a future. You can never know who people really are. I'm sorry. At least this helps you shut the door and move on.
Author crazybestie101 Posted August 14, 2014 Author Posted August 14, 2014 Maybe that's why he didn't want to let you into FB -- as he stated you would be "freaked out." You might have learned the truth sooner versus going this far and making all those plans in your head about a future. You can never know who people really are. I'm sorry. At least this helps you shut the door and move on. Yes , finally came to reality. You are so right about you never know who people really. Until this moment he acted like he wants to know me , talking while asking my views on several things. What surprises me that most of our non stop texting conversation were around time when his bf is not around. I swear he acted like guy during our convo. Sometime we even talked on weekend i wonder where his bf was. He even told me his bf isnt jealous that we are talking. In my last text i told him" i am sorry but i was initially interested in you and wanted to know you better. But i didnt know all this. I am just hurt and want to cry. Its not about you , its about me. But above all, i am happy for you and would still like to be friends with you."
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