sunny1 Posted February 22, 2005 Posted February 22, 2005 I have been in love with my coworker for a couple years now. Much to my excitement and surprise he felt the same way and finally asked me out! We clicked so well and our relationship just took off. We couldn’t get enough of each other. We were only dating a few months and he already started talking about “deep relationship” issues such as meeting his parents and meeting mine as well as other topics. Things were going so well that I got scared. So stupid me opened my mouth and told him I was afraid he would end up hurting him and not to do so. A week or so after I opened my big mouth the guy told me he thinks we should back off and not date anymore. Looking back at it I shouldn’t have said anything and just went with the flow. I’m constantly kicking myself in the butt for it. The weird thing was this guy wanted to stop dating but still wanted to hang out with me because he really enjoys spending time with me. So I thought “okay, that’s cool” and kept hanging out with him. A week after the “let’s back off talk” we were hanging out and I opened my mouth again and made my second mistake. I asked to start dating but to take it day by day…to just go with the flow. He said not dating me was the right thing to do and that he wasn’t ready to give himself to a committed relationship. Now I’ve opened my big mouth before but I know I never ever mentioned a committed relationship. Even though it would be nice, that wasn’t what I was looking for. I don’t know why this guy thinks of a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship when he thinks of dating me! And guess what, he still wanted to hang out and I said no. Anyway, after this second talk I was so hurt and rejected that I fell into the “who does he think he is” mode. I completely ignored him at work and was just plain cold towards him when he tried to talk to me. But I’m not one to hold a grudge so after a week of being mean, I went back to my normal self and started talking to him like nothing had happened. I’m still totally in love with this guy but I’m trying my best to move on. Although it stings when I think of it I can accept the fact that he doesn’t have the same feelings for me anymore but I can’t accept the fact that our friendship may have changed for the worse. I would totally love to hang out with him like we used to but he’s not asking me to hang out or anything. Actually come to think of it, I’m not sure if I’m holding on to some little hope of reuniting. Hmm…OH! What to do, what to do. I just feel like I messed everything up, including our friendship.
westernxer Posted February 22, 2005 Posted February 22, 2005 This is the reason why I never pursue relationships in the workplace. Thanks for the reminder. (I had a huge crush on a new co-worker a couple of years ago, and I tried my hardest to stay away from her. She turned out to be a drama case, and I thanked my lucky stars that I didn't open my mouth.) Also, the two of you see each other all damn day long. That's not healthy, especially when feelings are involved. You can always find a new job if you really need to, provided he's not looking himself. Think it over. It may be the only solution. The rest will sort itself out. Time and distance are what the two of you really need at this point. Good luck.
glitter-gal Posted February 22, 2005 Posted February 22, 2005 My 2 cents: Yes, work and love definately DO NOT mix. I hope in time the scar will fade but PLEASE do yourself a favor and listen to your head next time (as opposed to listening to other parts of your anatomy) ~~> Don't get involved with a coworker it'll just leave a bad taste in your mouth.
FoShizzleMyNizzle Posted February 22, 2005 Posted February 22, 2005 Let me repeat for other people: Long distance relationships do not usually work out. and Work relationships do not usually work out.
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