Eivuwan Posted July 24, 2014 Posted July 24, 2014 Regardless of whether it's the cultural norms or not, if it makes you feel uncomfortable then tell her to stop. That also means that YOU have to stop talking to her about your sex life. I don't know how exactly you want to navigate this. Once, my mom tried to spank me even though I was in my twenties and I got her to stop by literally blowing my top off. I was so angry and yelled at the top of my lungs haha. I am not saying you should do that, but a stronger stance and maybe even raising your voice slightly could keep her off your back. Say "Mom, I understand that you enjoy these bonding behaviors, but I am simply not comfortable with it and it upsets me. Please stop."
Tbisb74 Posted July 24, 2014 Posted July 24, 2014 The whole scenario just beggars belief. I cannot believe that any sane mother would behave with her son that way, and that a son - regardless of Cultural and religious upbringing - would put up with it for a second.
Haydn Posted July 24, 2014 Posted July 24, 2014 My Mum is usually content to make me a cuppa and a slice of Mr Kipling`s cherry delights. I don`t think that`s too sinister. 3
EverLastluv Posted July 25, 2014 Posted July 25, 2014 would like to hear a follow up on Op how things going at home? Are you okay ? hope you reading your tread and responding the right way to your mom so she can get the drift.
Author umeshkuyad Posted August 14, 2014 Author Posted August 14, 2014 My mother used to make me give her intimate massages when she was single and I have to say, it creeped me the hell out. And I'm pretty sure those emotions wouldn't have been any different if I had been educated in India.No wonder there's so much rape and angst toward women if that's the norm over there. I'm surprised you managed to find yourself turned on by that. You're more of a man than I am. Or your moms just hotter, one or the other. i have to say thsi it is not a norm here but sometimes hindu moms take 'affection' to 'new levels' so to say! and as for the rapes and anger towards women in india, your ideas are not correct- nothing justifies such inhuman behaviour & i am sure 90% of women in india will disaprove of my mothers behaviour! most of the innocent women raped, tortured or facing domestic abuse are not at fault!its just that our culture treates ladies as second rate citizens
Author umeshkuyad Posted August 14, 2014 Author Posted August 14, 2014 would like to hear a follow up on Op how things going at home? Are you okay ? hope you reading your tread and responding the right way to your mom so she can get the drift. thankx for your replies! i had moved out of my house for some time but i moved back recently as i just could not afford it, my job doesn't pay much you see! thankz all for all your guidance again
Tbisb74 Posted August 14, 2014 Posted August 14, 2014 Get a lock put on your bedroom door, and do not engage with your mother unless you have someone there with you. She has to be made aware that her behaviour is completely unacceptable. Perhaps you could inform her that you intend to record/video all encounters with her on your 'phone, and send them to your father for him to look at? 2
bathtub-row Posted August 15, 2014 Posted August 15, 2014 There's a part of me that wonders if this post is actually legitimate. It just sounds too far-fetched to me. However....assuming it's for real, this is about the sickest thing I've heard in many moons. Just yuk! What mother and what culture would ever think this is even remotely ok? 1
EverLastluv Posted August 15, 2014 Posted August 15, 2014 thankx for your replies! i had moved out of my house for some time but i moved back recently as i just could not afford it, my job doesn't pay much you see! thankz all for all your guidance again Hey glad you are back You mention about financially unstable. I understand. I hope mom stop taking advantge of you. we are here to help dont feel shy or silly speaking the truth. I am here for guidance too sometimes. Please keep us posted.
merrmeade Posted September 20, 2014 Posted September 20, 2014 (edited) I have spent many years of my life in India. I was not a missionary and became as close to Hindu culture as a foreigner could be allowed. In reading the original post and responses, I do not find the cultural references helpful or even relevant to the situation. Yes, Hindu parents are more tactile and affectionate with their children than Westerners. Children commonly sleep with their parents throughout childhood, but sex is very clearly off limits and not even a topic of discussion in most traditional families. Highly respectable families do not even appreciate the reference to pregnancy since it implies the sexual act behind it. The sudden intrusion of Western culture with internet and television even in the past 5-7 years has introduced values and lifestyles that are in direct contradiction to the purity and sanctity of family life in Hindu families. It has been difficult for everyone to navigate the changes. I'm sorry, but I do not believe this situation has anything to do with cultural tradition except for the fact that she has a very powerful influence over her son and is actually considering that to satisfy herself. This sounds to me like a lonely woman who has been without sex for some time. Given her son's age, physical development and the deep love between them, sexual tension has been building. It may become more and more irrisistible, but it is NOT normal or desirable in Hindu or any other culture - and he knows this. And so does she. Sadly, I think she is using her power and influence inappropriately, even seductively, but I also think she would back off the instant you address it with her. You can be respectful and gentle and discuss it in terms of your discomfort and tell her that you will be more comfortable speaking with your father or brother than her about sexual matters. Say how uncomfortable the massages make you feel and the proximity to each other when barely clothed, considering your age now. You can add that you are saying this out of the deep honor and respect you have for her as your mother and would prefer to express affection in other ways. I think that once you say anything, it will be out in the open, will embarrass her, and she will not press you further. I am sorry for your situation and am glad you have sought advice. However, I do not think there is any reason for people to assume this situation reflects in any way on a highly spiritual culture which includes the purity of the family unit in its sacred traditions. This is a difficult situation with individuals and has little to do with differences in cultural norms from my summation. No one should walk away from this discussion with assumptions about sexual practices in India or Indians (whether Hindu, Muslim, Christian, Parsi, Sikh, Buddhist) living abroad. It simply is not representative. Edited September 20, 2014 by merrmeade 1
Wearyone Posted October 4, 2014 Posted October 4, 2014 That is straight up bizarre/disturbing if this thread is for real. Vomit. Still, it takes a guy with balls of steel to admit his mum turned him on cos golly gee whizz thats messed up.
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