footieman Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 So basically, took a girl on a date, when fantastic, had sex and chemistry was great. Been in contact a fair bit and rearranged another date, due to work arrangements it has been a couple of weeks since we can next go out. This girl is really honest but she said something which struck me abit and the alarm bells started ringing I said to her that I was surprised that she hasn't got a bloke as she is really nice, to which she tells me that she finds it hard to commit and meet the right person, but what she said next is what concerns me She mentioned that her ex had been contacting her lately and she said that shes unsure how she feels and abit confused (about him not me), now don't get me wrong, she hasn't blew me off or acted cold or anything and I like the fact she has being honest and told me this, but how do I go from here? My plan is to hopefully continue dating her and impress her, showing her that im a fun guy to be with and hopefully he will not cross her mind when she sees what im like. But am I being naive? I know she does like me, but I don't wanna be fighting a lost cause, and I don't really wanna go into detail about this with her as its way to early for this kinda talk. So what should I do? I think its a good thing she mentioned it to me I think coz she hasn't changed her attitude towards me and still seems keen to meet up and stuff, but it also concerns me a little at the same time Thanks for replies and will keep you updated
Versacehottie Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 Put her ex and confusion about him mostly out of your mind. Do your own "game", be the best you that you can be and take it day by day. Recheck what you think is actually going on with her (interest in you) every once in a while but don't get caught up in it. The best thing you can do is act and be confident about yourself--it gives you best chance with her really and if she's gonna go with him in the end, acting insecure or giving up beforehand will just drive her to him faster--plus you can't change her mind if she really is going to do that. Give yourself best opportunity by being best you--acting for most part as if you never knew this info. Good luck 1
Gaeta Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 That is her way of telling you she is mildly interested and she can bail on you anytime to go back to her ex. If I was still thinking of my ex and met an interesting man I would never in a million year tell him about my ex pursuing me. I would only say that so you know I got something else going and don't count on me too much. 1
PegNosePete Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 Personally I would never date someone who is not over their ex, or "confused". I would tell her that I'd love to take her out again when she is un-confused... and when that day comes, she knows how to contact me. 2
Author footieman Posted July 17, 2014 Author Posted July 17, 2014 Put her ex and confusion about him mostly out of your mind. Do your own "game", be the best you that you can be and take it day by day. Recheck what you think is actually going on with her (interest in you) every once in a while but don't get caught up in it. The best thing you can do is act and be confident about yourself--it gives you best chance with her really and if she's gonna go with him in the end, acting insecure or giving up beforehand will just drive her to him faster--plus you can't change her mind if she really is going to do that. Give yourself best opportunity by being best you--acting for most part as if you never knew this info. Good luck Yeah that's my game plan at the minute, not much more I can do ive just gotta shine id like to note aswell that the 1st date we had, im 99% sure that the ex was NOT contacting her at this point. Its only after the date with me he started contacting again, so her actions on the first date , her ex had no impact on what happened that night, and I believe they split at least 3 months ago so its not a fresh wound so to speak 1
Author footieman Posted July 17, 2014 Author Posted July 17, 2014 That is her way of telling you she is mildly interested and she can bail on you anytime to go back to her ex. If I was still thinking of my ex and met an interesting man I would never in a million year tell him about my ex pursuing me. I would only say that so you know I got something else going and don't count on me too much. I agree with you about the first sentence but not the second, I have on plenty of occasions told girls about other girls interested in me even when im really into them, not to make them jealous, but to let them know that im not going to be losing sleep if things don't work out and I always have other options.
Gaeta Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 her ex had no impact on what happened that night, and I believe they split at least 3 months ago so its not a fresh wound so to speak Depending how long they were together yes 3 months can be fresh. I don't know why you put any hope or efforts in someone freshly out of a relationship, still in contact with her ex AND admitting she's confused. You got all the ingredients here for a big disappointment.
Author footieman Posted July 17, 2014 Author Posted July 17, 2014 Depending how long they were together yes 3 months can be fresh. I don't know why you put any hope or efforts in someone freshly out of a relationship, still in contact with her ex AND admitting she's confused. You got all the ingredients here for a big disappointment. I wouldn't say 3 months is that fresh? Its quite along time in my book, especially if your meeting new people every day. I think they were on/off for a year
PegNosePete Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 I have on plenty of occasions told girls about other girls interested in me even when im really into them, not to make them jealous, but to let them know that im not going to be losing sleep if things don't work out and I always have other options. And how often have these childish games worked out for you? Are you following some kind of PUA script to get laid, or are you looking for a real relationship? This smacks of the former. 1
Gaeta Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 I agree with you about the first sentence but not the second, I have on plenty of occasions told girls about other girls interested in me even when im really into them, not to make them jealous, but to let them know that im not going to be losing sleep if things don't work out and I always have other options. That is awful. If that was used on me I would lose all interest on the spot.
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