Podna Posted February 21, 2005 Posted February 21, 2005 I have seen a number of threads on these boards talking about attraction and personal preferences when it comes to a mate. Preferences are fine, but what are the deal breakers? Today in another thread I mentioned the fact that most of my friends give me a hard time because they think I have dated some women who, in there words, were, “some really hideous women”. The thing that makes this even more interesting to me is some of the really attractive (what my friends call attractive) girls I have dated were sometimes shocked when they would find out/see pictures of girls I have dated. (You would think girls would root for the home team on this one, but most don’t.) They think that because I was with what they considered to be an unattractive woman, that I was now, somehow, less attractive. I really dont understand that one. I’m all over the map though I must admit. Tall and so skinny you could see her heart beat on a sunny day. Short and I mean really short women, heavy women it doesn’t matter so long as they have a good attitude, nice smile, and a seductive manner about them. Well it does matter to some degree, but as my friends say, my standards are pretty low. So I start thinking, just how big if a freak am I? So I start to test myself (mentally) with various physical conditions and maladies that would be a deal breaker for me. Would you date someone with a weight problem, either too thin or too large? Would you date a dwarf? Or whatever pc term you want to use. Would you date a deaf or blind person? Would you date a person who has mild learning disabilities? Would you date an amputee? My answer to all these questions was a yes with reservations, particularly with the learning disabilities. I would give it a shot with people who have those conditions so long as they met the aforementioned criteria. It’s not charity or anything like that, it’s just that I would hate to miss out because I wasn’t willing to check it out and see. This is about the limit that I could go though. If you start mixing and matching, it could get hard even for me. I would defiantly not go out with an overweight dwarf who was blind, deaf and dumb and lost both her legs in a terrible boating accident. I am really interested folks, so anything you can say would be appreciated.
GirlDown Posted February 21, 2005 Posted February 21, 2005 apparently anyone would date anyone because we can't even be friends without sexual attraction... guess you're in the clear!
Pendawn Posted February 22, 2005 Posted February 22, 2005 I don't think you're a freak, just honest. i think most of us honestly, are not that bothered by physical issues if we fall in love. I know when i was filling in my profile for online dating and you could specify what the guy looked like, i realised I really didn't care. Tall, short, fat, thin, didn't care. But I rejected a lot of people who i didn't find attarctive, but just because I have to find something about their face attractive - smile, eyes, jaw. It doesn't have to be perfect in any way.
moimeme Posted February 22, 2005 Posted February 22, 2005 So I start thinking, just how big if a freak am I? Don't beat yourself up because you're not shallow. Isn't it 'conditional' love if you love someone only if s/he looks ideal to your friends or only if s/he is beautiful? If it's not the personality that shines so brightly you can't help but love, why would you even want to be with someone? After all, anybody can fall ill, be in an accident, or be maimed. Think Chris Reeve. Think President Yushchenko. If you *need* looks upon which to base your affection, perhaps it's not genuine affection at all.
CaGirl1980 Posted February 22, 2005 Posted February 22, 2005 I think there are wayyyy too many superficial people out there. I have never been able to understand why someone would automatically disqualify an entire group of people based solely on looks. Maybe it's because I've had major weight problems in the past, but I just think that you could be missing out on the greatest person you've ever met if you don't want to get close to them just because of the way they look. And quite honestly people that would discriminate based on a certain feature probably will miss out on some of the greatest people they've ever met, and they probably deserve it.
alphamale Posted February 22, 2005 Posted February 22, 2005 Originally posted by moimeme Think Chris Reeve. Think President Yushchenko. If you *need* looks upon which to base your affection, perhaps it's not genuine affection at all. hmmm....yes MOIMEME, I see your point. So people who are good looking, rich and famous and powerful BEFORE their accidents will still be loved. Excellent logic. So what exactly would happen to people who were ugly, poor and powerless before they had their accident?
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