Elle1975 Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 It's a natural fear of rejection. Also since we work together. Otherwise I have no problem expressing myself and he knows it.. I always speak my mind. But this is something that's very important to me which may or may not have consequences and no matter what will change our relationship for the better or worse. Wouldn't you want to know now rather than staying in this state of limbo.
slizl Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 Not sure if it is the same for guys, but whenever a girl falls in love with me, I can tell almost instantly by the way they look at me. All women that have been in love with me have had the exact same look on their face when we are staring at eachother. Like I said, not sure if guys have the look, but from my experience, women sure do. 1
Author ain5053 Posted July 17, 2014 Author Posted July 17, 2014 Wouldn't you want to know now rather than staying in this state of limbo. Yes, I do. It's just I know he loves me, his actions speak it. My fear is that he won't say it. And then the limbo state will continue.... We have been dating only 3 1/2 months. That might be too soon, but in my past relationship the L word was introduced about a month or two in..
yessy21 Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 wow what a douche thing to say. If I didnt feel it or want to say because I didnt feel it, the least I would say is" I cant say I love you because its too early for me, but I have strong feeling for you and im crazy about, but it will comes soon, and then you wont be able to stop me" I did say I love you to a woman first once and she smiled but didnt say anything but then I said to her "I know you love love me and you dont have to say it because your actions show it" and she kissed me instantly. I knew she did, but aw thanks..wth. I feel in love with my ex the fastest. she put a spell on me haha I knew it the first time I saw her. it was magical. well, we were in her car and she said "geez what will I do with you" and I said "doesnt matter what but just love me" she said "I already do" and I immediately said it back. I said that I was afraid to say it first. Yea it was pretty douchey but hey you cant control what others feel. I figured he might not be ready... or he might not like me that way. I'm okay with that... even though I feel like my heart is broken. im seriously considering ending the relationship. at least before my bday next week.
MissBee Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 This is one of the things I prefer a man to initiate. I don't think anything is wrong with a woman saying it first, but for me, I've found that I am a lot more emotionally open most times than the men I date and I think lots of women tend to feel more and go deeper before the man does, so because of that, for me, I like the man to take the lead in making those kinds of declarations before I throw myself into it and invest more.Every boyfriend I've had has said it first and that worked for me. I felt the same but simply preferred for him to say so first. 2
Elle1975 Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 Yes, I do. It's just I know he loves me, his actions speak it. My fear is that he won't say it. And then the limbo state will continue.... We have been dating only 3 1/2 months. That might be too soon, but in my past relationship the L word was introduced about a month or two in.. It's up to you, almost 4 months I think it's not too soon to say how you feel. I mean, someone got to say it first. If you go on those dating advice websites for men, they all say to let the girl say it first. You go on the dating advice websites for woman, and they tell you to let the guy say it first. If he feels the same, who cares who says it first. I feel sometimes it's a question of pride or fear of what he/she might answer. If the SO doesn't feel the same, better to know sooner than later.
Author ain5053 Posted July 17, 2014 Author Posted July 17, 2014 It's up to you, almost 4 months I think it's not too soon to say how you feel. I mean, someone got to say it first. If you go on those dating advice websites for men, they all say to let the girl say it first. You go on the dating advice websites for woman, and they tell you to let the guy say it first. If he feels the same, who cares who says it first. I feel sometimes it's a question of pride or fear of what he/she might answer. If the SO doesn't feel the same, better to know sooner than later. But what if he DOES feel the same, but is still in denial because of his past unsuccessful relationships? As in he is in love as well, but isn't ready to say it.
marcjb Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 What is up with the game of saying "I love you"? As long as you didn't just meet the person last week and have spent a decent amount of time together and the feelings are true, just say it. If you scare them away, then they aren't right for you anyway. Enough with worrying about being the first person to say it. Since when did loving someone become a bad thing? It's not a man's, or a woman's responsibility to say it first. If you are suppressing feelings, that's not good. Let them out, let the person know how you feel! 3
todreaminblue Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 (edited) my grandpa said never wait to tell some one how you feel...he is right.i am glad before he died i often threw my arms aroun dhim and hsi around me and he told me he lvoed em and i loved him ....both sets fo grandparents i have doen this my mum my sis, and when i was ina committed relationship i didtn wait once i knew i loved them..dont wait because if you truly do love him it wont matter if he answers you or not.......because you will still love him regardless..so let it be known..not one guy i have told and there are only three from teen years in my life, they have always said it back and they normally have involved music......i relate to music....and thought behind the music they ask me to listen to......i have dated pretty shy guys.....when it comes to love....trojans on the outside....shy when it comes to love.......deb Edited July 17, 2014 by todreaminblue 2
seekingpeaceinlove Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 I've never been the one to say it first. My parents had a dysfunctional marriage and I never once recall them saying, " I love you," to each other. In fact, saying " I love you" in our family was a rarity. Saying those words used to make me feel incredibly uncomfortable. In my first 2 relationships (in my 20s), I never said it back even though my bfs would say it. I felt it with one..but the words would not come out. They both said it about a month into the relationship. My current bf and I were at a summer festival about 6 months into our relationship and I was sitting on his lap as we were drinking, listening to a band and watching people dance. I was in a cheery mood and said, " I love watching old people dance!" and he blurted, " I love YOU." He seemed surprised at what he had just said. We looked at each other and laughed...and I kissed him and said, "aw baby." I said it back to him a few weeks later while cuddling.
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