Fadedlyne Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 Little bit of backstory: I work night shift, so I do the online dating thing. I met this girl about a year ago, we talked for a few weeks and hit it off. We ended up meeting up and had some chemistry, however I was busy with life and didn't feel like I could dedicate enough time to a relationship, so we went our seperate ways. We started talking again about 3 weeks ago, met up and everything clicked, conversation was flowing, she told me I gave her the butterflies, the sex was passionate. We hung out pretty much everyday except my work nights (3 days a week). Last sunday, a few days ago, she introduced me to her dad. I thought that was a little fast but whatever, I liked her. She asked me to come on their beach trip next month, which I agreed to. Sunday, I met her dad and we hung out with her family for a little bit and then went and walked around the town, she spent the night, told me how lucky she was to have me in her life yadda yadda. So monday, I go over to her apt, she cooks dinner and we watch a movie and just chill. We had planned to go get dinner with my mom the following day, since I met her dad. I didn't push her into it or anything, she re-assured me she wanted to meet my mom and everything and was excited. Tuesday rolls around, she texts me 15 minutes before I was supposed to pick her up for dinner that she is really tired and doesn't feel well. I told her its fine no pressure, there's always next time. She agrees and says she's going to just have an early night and catch up on some sleep. I don't hear from her the rest of the night, this morning I wake up to a text that says she doesn't feel the relationship is working out and that she doesn't feel a connection and apologizes. Haven't heard from her since then. What just happened? I have no idea and feel totally blindsided. Granted we were only "officially" together for about 2 weeks, but we had known each other for about a year. How do you do an emotional 180 in 1 day?!
nerdlingZA Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 He dad said some bad things behind your back, she fears the same, your mom will say bad things behind her back. I think her family doesn't like u
Author Fadedlyne Posted July 17, 2014 Author Posted July 17, 2014 I know her brother likes me, I don't think its a family issue. We only were there like 20 minutes I should probably add, I'm the only guy she's ever taken to meet her dad.
Zippy2000 Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 People can change their minds at any point in their lives. I dated a woman about a year ago. Had one date and was leading to a second but I didnt persue it. Fast foward another year I met her onlin on the same dating site and she agreed to date number 2 and when we did it was like catching up from the first date. Emailed her to see her again and guess what? No reply and nothing. Just dropped off the face of the Earth. However! Fast foward another 3 months I was on Facebook and found out she was engaged! Not quite the same story as yours but what I m trying to say it people can and will chnage their minds at any point and as the old saying goes: "Whats for you will not go by you" 1
Fitguyinfl Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 Sounds like she is confused and is probably hung up over another guy.
15yearsin Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 I disagree that she's hung up on another guy, respectfully. I think if it's true you were the first person she took to meet her dad, and she cooked you dinner and you both have a great time together - she panicked when it came time to meet your mom. She is probably insecure and scared. She says she doesn't feel a connection because that's a good way to throw you off. I am a girl and girls will sometimes say the opposite of what they are actually feeling to protect themselves when they start to feel vulnerable like she could fall for you. Anyway, if you really like the girl, don't give up on her. Call her, text her, drop by her place. Then you'll know for sure how she really feels. She's probably just protecting herself for fear that the relationship will end in rejection. What do you have to lose? a little face? at least you can say you gave it your all.
Diezel Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 Who cares what happens? As soon as she says it isn't going to work out: Exit, stage left. Go find someone who will want to be with you. Exit gracefully. 3
fred123 Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 I disagree that she's hung up on another guy, respectfully. I think if it's true you were the first person she took to meet her dad, and she cooked you dinner and you both have a great time together - she panicked when it came time to meet your mom. She is probably insecure and scared. She says she doesn't feel a connection because that's a good way to throw you off. I am a girl and girls will sometimes say the opposite of what they are actually feeling to protect themselves when they start to feel vulnerable like she could fall for you. Anyway, if you really like the girl, don't give up on her. Call her, text her, drop by her place. Then you'll know for sure how she really feels. She's probably just protecting herself for fear that the relationship will end in rejection. What do you have to lose? a little face? at least you can say you gave it your all. what he has to lose? its called harrassment. and then the girl will.complain about how guys dont get the message that they arent interested. she will think hes creepy and desparate. never liste. to this post. ul get a harrassment case on u! 1
Gaeta Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 You've burn the candle by both ends. Three weeks only, you spent each day together, met your dad, big 'butterflies' declaration, then planning to meet your mom, that was too much too fast she got an indigestion. After 3 weeks most people have had 3-4 dates and have not visited each others place yet. Do not contact her, the dumper does the contacting if ever they get remorse, not the dumpee.
preraph Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 Sounds to me like she is feeling sort of desperate to get married and possibly because her family pushes her to do it, and that she has people telling her to find someone but that she hasn't found the one that makes her happy (and might never) and so she went through the motions of trying to get serious and satisfied her parents by introducing you and then she just knew she wasn't able to go through with it because she's either not in love or isn't comfortable with intimacy or something. It is possible her father had some feedback, but I have to tell you that never stopped any of my friends from dating whoever they wanted. But if they're a super close family, it might. Sorry for it.
Wisecrack Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 Knowing each other for a year does not equate to relationship after a few weeks of dating - two totally different things. You fell into the trap of progressing things too quickly - I know form experience. Don't be too available next time, the parents? No need to meet them too early - even baulk it until you have to. No impression YET is better than a bad one too early. What do you do now? Don't try to get in touch with her and give her space. MOve on and meet new woman. At best the space may have let her clear her head and she'll come chasing back. At worst, you'll meet someone new and cool. Something I've learnt is that when a relation should not be hard in the sense that when you meet a girl that really really likes you, you'll realise.
Author Fadedlyne Posted July 17, 2014 Author Posted July 17, 2014 thanks for the feedback guys, my response to her text was "Really? Damn, I didn't see that coming at all. Alright then, I hope everything works out for you" Haven't heard from her since, I have no intentions of texting her again, even in the off chance she texts me I wont be responding. I don't need her in my life, nor would I trust her again as I know her feelings can flip in a day like that. I was just curious what you guys thought was the reason behind that, I think it was just too much too soon with her being a little scared of commitment, but I'll never know for sure. Thanks all 1
Gaeta Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 even in the off chance she texts me I wont be responding. I don't need her in my life, nor would I trust her again as I know her feelings can flip in a day like that. I think you're a bit harsh here. At the speed things were developing it would have scared any normal person. It's also human to be confused or scared by a speedy start. It doesn't mean she is not trust worthy or fears commitment.
Author Fadedlyne Posted July 18, 2014 Author Posted July 18, 2014 I don't think its being harsh at all, but regardless I'll worry about that if she ever even texts me lol 1
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