clearmind Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 How do I deal with the fact that he is doing so well in life now that we are broken up per him I don't want to feel jealous but I do he just moved into luxury condo and apparently doing good at work (job I helped him get) and he has to call and brag about this to me knowing I am not really in a good place emotionally and haven't been able to get a job in 8 months.. when he was down I helped him through his struggles but now that it's me it's like he is kicking me while I am down... when will his karma kick in ???
emotionalMess Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 Many advise dumpee's to work on and improve themselves after a breakup. Did you dump him?
Author clearmind Posted July 17, 2014 Author Posted July 17, 2014 it was somewhat mutual but I feel he actually did the dumping because of his cold callous attitude and ways he made the relationship and living situation unbearable a purposeful sabotage of the relationship I suppose so he can go out and do his "thing" which has already been confirmed by him directly it's been 3 months and he has already had sex with 2 different people .. and probably more by now
Author clearmind Posted July 17, 2014 Author Posted July 17, 2014 well we had some business lingering which is now resolved and I ignored him a few times and then he called me at midnight I had to answer just to know what he had to say ... but now have gone NC its been 6 days now .. next phone call I wont be answering
Haydn Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 Remove yourself from all temptation to even be interested in his life. Social media etc... Block, delete. Whatever you have to do. 6 days is nothing...It may get worse but that is the course. Get out and try to enjoy things as much as you can. You do not need to show him if you are doing well. Indifference, indifference. Good luck and keep posting. 1
Priv Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 Well... if you want to see it as a contest as the dumpee, whatever you do you already lost. The dumper by definition is way better off from the start. Just keep looking for that dreamjob. Your day will come Also NC. How do you know he slept with 2 people. He told you that? Just don't talk to him anymore because that is somethnig that you really need NOT TO KNOW. 3
Author clearmind Posted July 17, 2014 Author Posted July 17, 2014 yes ok indifference is the key word yes he told me ... I know now I am just picturing all the new sluts he will be screwing in his new condo right near the center of the city .. yes I know he got the one up by doing the actual dumping I just need to get over it.. it hurts that he is such a backstabber I feel like I was just with a complete stranger for the last 4 years
shoegal4 Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 Keeping yourself in the know will never allow you to move forward and make yourself better. Cut him off. Ignore his calls. Make him wonder how YOUR life is going. Focus all of your energy on you. Get on the computer, look for a cool, new job. Go work out at the gym. Do something different with your hair. Buy yourself a new shirt. Do things that make you happy - even if you are still sad. Sitting around, wondering about his "new" life will do nothing but halt your own progress! Get out there and do you girlie! 1
scobro Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 Im in the exact same situation with my ex girlfriend.I was out of work and she just used me as a door matt. Renting out a room to her ex boyfriend in her house then wouldn't let me come over any more because he was there.Going out to Casinos with him and his friends, who I found out she slept with one of them 18 years younger than her, she is 50 but very Housewives of Beverley hills looking, fake double D's,blonde,owns her own business and looks young.I ended it because I couldn't take the blatant disrespect plus its impossible to do anything when you have little or no money and she has lots.Now she says she is seeing someone new but she likes to play mind games with me.Caught her with a profile on Plenty of fish looking when we were still together and she left her phone at my place and was texting with a bunch of guys from POF.So it was not good and very hurtful knowing so I had to just end it but she seems to be not missing a beat and could care less about me.I still find I miss her and Im sad(don't know why).Going for a new job tomorrow so hopefully that will take my mind off her.
Omei Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 He sounds really unhealthy for your healing progress You don't need his little updates Go full NC
Elle1975 Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 How do I deal with the fact that he is doing so well in life now that we are broken up per him I don't want to feel jealous but I do he just moved into luxury condo and apparently doing good at work (job I helped him get) and he has to call and brag about this to me knowing I am not really in a good place emotionally and haven't been able to get a job in 8 months.. when he was down I helped him through his struggles but now that it's me it's like he is kicking me while I am down... when will his karma kick in ??? There is no such thing as Karma. Karma is what helps us sleep at night, nothing more. As for being successful, success doesn't transpire from how much money you have in the bank, or where you live. Success has only one checked box: I am happy. It's as simple as that. If you happiness depends on a nice condo, there's nothing wrong with that. Now, work on getting that nice condo. As there is no such thing as Karma, there is no such thing as Luck. Work for what you want, reach your goals, "luck" will smile upon you. It's not easy. Feeling like a failure sucks. It demotivates me daily. I can't wait to graduate but for now I feel like I have nothing to offer (of monetary value) The thing is, we can't get trapped in this mind set of "I'm no good. I have nothing to show" etc.. We have something to show. It's just not what we consider valuable to someone else. It is still valuable. 2
Author clearmind Posted July 21, 2014 Author Posted July 21, 2014 I have to disagree Karma does absolutely exist it's the universal law of cause and effect .. nobody can change it... It's just a matter of when he will finally feel what he made me feel... and it's not about a condo it's about him not respecting me enough to not gloat about his success in my face knowing now is not a good time for me... but maybe that is part of the reason we are broken up because I get so tired of everything being about making him happy all the time... I appreciate all the response.. Thanks
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