SJC2008 Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 I've read this here before like it happens at the flip of a switch or something. I've read that this is when the "tables flilp" and a mans market value increases while a woman of the same age will have a decreasing market value. Opinions?
Keenly Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 That whole men get more attractive as they age thing. Career is usually taking off by then. Omen are pretty ready to settle down.
carhill Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 In my generation and demographic, due to men getting married pretty young, the 'prime' didn't really happen until late 30's/early 40's due to them simply not being single. By that time, most had seniority and good pay and perks, or had established themselves in their business or professional career and could afford to absorb a D with a sense of decorum and style and it didn't bankrupt them like the younger guys who D'd before establishing themselves. For the guys who remained single, the 30's were a mixed bag. Yeah, there was a lot to like about that time but, again around here, there were simply very few single women to date. I would only see signs of what the OP alludes to when immersing in different demographics where there were more single women and subsequently enjoyed wider popularity. IMO, it (prime) boils down to a few factors: 1. Life experience and confidence and an ease of interaction with women 2. Comfort and security with himself and his place in life 3. Clear direction in life, a modicum (or more) of social and financial success and the attendant popularity. 3
TXGuy Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 While my suggestion might not be popular, I'll take a shot at it anyway. I'm a believer in the proposition that men's relative dating value is the highest in their 30s. Key assumptions (which some will challenge/deny) are: 1.)Women's key values are their beauty, and child-bearing ability. Men's key values are protection and provisioning. Women's beauty and child bearing ability start to drop sharply around 30. Many men consider 30 a cutoff guideline for a woman they want to marry and have children with. The possibility of having children, and those children being healthy, starts to noticably decline around 30. Some unmarried women of this age also believe this and they are much more willing to put up with more than they had before. Additionally, many women like to spend their 20 concentrating on chasing the same top 15% of alpha/badboy men. Around 30, knowing the badboys are fun, but not good prospects for provisioning and fathering. They then start turning their attention to the middle-of-the-pack guys they generally ignored in their 20s. At the same time, men's earning power generally gets rolling in their 30s. While it is not their peak earning years, they (on average) are making good money and at this point, it is relatively easy to tell which men will likely do very well for the rest of their careers. Additionally, men in their 30s (who are also in decent shape) are still young and attractive. This 'young enough' period gives them a higher value than more financially well off old guys. 4
Author SJC2008 Posted July 17, 2014 Author Posted July 17, 2014 I don't necessarily beleive the whole 'women stop chasing the bad boys' thing. First, because most people don't change. I have a male relative who has married the same type of woman four times. Lastly, not all women chase bad boys. I will say though that a woman dating me now who wouldn't have in her 20's will get the curb quick if I ever found that out!
jay1983 Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 Man in his 30's makes more money so they see him as a better provider and feel more secure having a family with him.
Andy_K Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 30s ? No way. More like the 50s and 60s. I'm glad I have my great guy because just about every hike, dance, event we attend has a ratio of 5 women for every man. This is pretty much spot on. 30s may be where the balance of power starts to shift towards the guys, but as you get older the imbalance only gets more severe. Take some time to check out how fast the spaces at speed dating events fill up. In the twenties, all the male spots fill first by a mile. In the thirties it's quite even. In higher age groups the female spots are all filled before the males spaces are even half taken. 1
Emilia Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 Take some time to check out how fast the spaces at speed dating events fill up. In the twenties, all the male spots fill first by a mile. In the thirties it's quite even. In higher age groups the female spots are all filled before the males spaces are even half taken. Not being funny but I've always assumed that this was related to male libido. Ie the urgency of the sex drive getting guys out to meet women when they are young but as men get older, their libido declines as well as their interest in women (as a result). 1
Andy_K Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 That is most likely correct. After all, the whole dating game is just a supply and demand situation. At younger ages guys have a much higher demand (sex or dating) for girls than vice versa, so girls will have an easier time finding someone. At higher ages the guys who are still single have often given up or lost interest in women, whilst a lot of women still want sex/companionship. So the scales start to tip the other way. 2
thefooloftheyear Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 That is most likely correct. After all, the whole dating game is just a supply and demand situation. At younger ages guys have a much higher demand (sex or dating) for girls than vice versa, so girls will have an easier time finding someone. At higher ages the guys who are still single have often given up or lost interest in women, whilst a lot of women still want sex/companionship. So the scales start to tip the other way. Here is what I think happens... When it comes to relationships, most women are eternally optimistic...They could have been crapped on a thousand times...They still have faith that the 1,001st guy is going to sweep them off their feet and ride off into the susnset... Guys arent like this, IMO...Its not for lack of interest or libido..They get burned once or twice and thats it, as far as relationships go...They'll still find a way to get sex if they want, but they have become jaded, and the thought of getting into a meaningful LTR isnt nearly as important as it is for women..They'll take up hobbies, work themselves into the ground, etc,,Especially true if they got their clock cleaned in a one sided divorce settlement... Heck, these days many guys look great well into their 40's and 50's...And thats when they are at their peak as far as financial stability and earning power..So its not like its as if they fall apart and no longer care..Its just they dont seem to value that as much as women do.(a committed LTR) This also might explain the most recent growing trend of older women and younger guys..(?) YMMV TFY 2
Absinthe Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 First off, I call BS on the whole "age limit" thing. From what I've observed, regardless of looks or age, if you are great to get along with and you're sociable enough to be meeting folks, you'll more often than not get paired up. People who place too much emphasis on looks and age are desperate, and as they get older and more panicked about it, they only become EVEN MORE desperate. Ain't nobody who's desperate who brings all the boys (or girls) to the yard. 2
central Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 I wonder if there is an age in which men ever lose their dating/sexual market value? I would imagine there is a limit on men like there is on women but for men it is much later Men are on a rising path in their 30s, and that starts declining in their 40s. Their marketability (mainly for the younger women who still want children) basically ends near 50, because they may not survive long enough to raise children they have at that age and beyond (not to mention their sexual vitality may be diminished significantly). They can still be very attractive to older women who no longer want children, but men that age often still want younger women, because youth and fertility are still primary attractors. 1
GorillaTheater Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 Men are on a rising path in their 30s, and that starts declining in their 40s. Their marketability (mainly for the younger women who still want children) basically ends near 50, because they may not survive long enough to raise children they have at that age and beyond (not to mention their sexual vitality may be diminished significantly). They can still be very attractive to older women who no longer want children, but men that age often still want younger women, because youth and fertility are still primary attractors. Though for some of us men in their 50s, fertility would be the LAST thing we'd be looking for. <shuddering in horror> 5
TXGuy Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 I wonder if there is an age in which men ever lose their dating/sexual market value? I would imagine there is a limit on men like there is on women but for men it is much later There is an age where men's attractiveness drops off. But due to the fact that men have such shorter lifespans than women, the female:male ratio continues to increase. This leaves lots of women still alive chasing a shrinking pool of live (and out of prison) men.
Emilia Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 Though for some of us men in their 50s, fertility would be the LAST thing we'd be looking for. <shuddering in horror> :lmao: 1
central Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 Though for some of us men in their 50s, fertility would be the LAST thing we'd be looking for. <shuddering in horror> That's for damn sure! LOL Just the same, the basis of attraction is still youth and fertility, and that's biologically programmed into us. Of course, we can choose to look at other factors that we value highly in women, such as love, affection, compatibility, and companionship - and of course, sex, just not for reproduction! 1
central Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 I'm curious as to why there are still a lot of young fertile women in their 20's and early 30's that are attracted to and date men in their 50's Some like older men for their personality, attitudes, stability, maturity, success - and they are likely to appreciate a younger woman more than someone her own age. Some don't want children, so the greater risks of problems with older fathers aren't a factor. Some may have issues or agendas, but I think those things are greatly overemphasized because some people like to stigmatize such relationships. I've seen this directly, as I've dated a couple of women 25 to 27 years younger than me, who picked me (I didn't pursue them).
jay1983 Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 Maybe one day I can make OLD profile and put up a crap load of standards. Must dislike social mediaMust dislike reality TVMust make a minimum of $40,000Must be at least 5'6" (just to be an as*)Must not have more than 1 kidMust not have more than 1 petMust not have an attitude problemMust not have any pysc problems Must be fit Yeah that'll be the day 1
jphcbpa Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 Guys arent like this, IMO...Its not for lack of interest or libido..They get burned once or twice and thats it, as far as relationships go...They'll still find a way to get sex if they want, but they have become jaded, and the thought of getting into a meaningful LTR isnt nearly as important as it is for women..They'll take up hobbies, work themselves into the ground, etc,,Especially true if they got their clock cleaned in a one sided divorce settlement... Heck, these days many guys look great well into their 40's and 50's...And thats when they are at their peak as far as financial stability and earning power..So its not like its as if they fall apart and no longer care..Its just they dont seem to value that as much as women do.(a committed LTR) This also might explain the most recent growing trend of older women and younger guys..(?) YMMV TFY Agree with this. I will be 42 in August and feel I am just now coming into my prime. Honestly, I look and feel better now than I did when I was 35 years old. In the past 7 years I have been married/divorce and had my heart crushed by my last g/f. My mindset now is to live with an open heart/without fear, but I am just dating myself. If something happens great, but I am not going out and looking to make something happen.
veggirl Posted July 18, 2014 Posted July 18, 2014 Most 25 yr old guys aren't looking for a wife and family. More guys in their 30s are so of course they are more desirable. It's not terribly confusing. 1
Emilia Posted July 18, 2014 Posted July 18, 2014 Even if a guys career takes off very high in his 30's, or whatever age he is, he's successful, has his life together, but he has very little or no dating experience and he's over age 25 or over 30, still a virgin, I don't see how his dating/sexual market value can be increased if he didn't get experience with dating and relationships, sex around the ages most people did, since after all one of the most common reasons women are attracted to older men is because they have more life experience, but if he is lacking in the dating/sex department, him being well set into his career sounds like it won't mean much to women That's because there is likely to be a reason (or several reasons) why he is lagging behind his peers.
RonaldS Posted July 18, 2014 Posted July 18, 2014 Here is what I think happens... When it comes to relationships, most women are eternally optimistic...They could have been crapped on a thousand times...They still have faith that the 1,001st guy is going to sweep them off their feet and ride off into the susnset... Guys arent like this, IMO...Its not for lack of interest or libido..They get burned once or twice and thats it, as far as relationships go...They'll still find a way to get sex if they want, but they have become jaded, and the thought of getting into a meaningful LTR isnt nearly as important as it is for women..They'll take up hobbies, work themselves into the ground, etc,,Especially true if they got their clock cleaned in a one sided divorce settlement... Heck, these days many guys look great well into their 40's and 50's...And thats when they are at their peak as far as financial stability and earning power..So its not like its as if they fall apart and no longer care..Its just they dont seem to value that as much as women do.(a committed LTR) This also might explain the most recent growing trend of older women and younger guys..(?) YMMV TFY Bang. So, I spent the latter half of my 20s into my late 30s in a relationship/marriage. It ended, and I learned through that experience that I don't really care for huge, committed life-long relationships. I wouldn't say I'm jaded, but I definitely know what I want and don't want. And one thing I know I do to want is to have to spend every day answering to somebody. I'm in excellent shape, have some money here and there, and have a lot of freedom....which I'm not willing to forfeit. Also, there's no great appeal for me to share my life with somebody. And I'll be honest...there are a LOT of women out there, and I wouldn't mind sampling them. The other thing that makes it easier to date in the 30s and 40s is that often, by that point, women have been demystified. Men have experience with women, their proclivities, their tricks, etc and the fight becomes a little more fair. I think women and men in their 20s...I just think that so often, the women have control of things. They call the shots, guys sit around hoping. That changes as men age. Being in a relationship is no longer life or death, so when women try to dictate everything, control the man, play games....all that stuff that worked in their 20s, guys just walk. In college, I didn't have any trouble getting girls....but dating at 40 is almost too easy to be fun. Almost. 1
TXGuy Posted July 18, 2014 Posted July 18, 2014 Even if a guys career takes off very high in his 30's, or whatever age he is, he's successful, has his life together, but he has very little or no dating experience and he's over age 25 or over 30, still a virgin, I don't see how his dating/sexual market value can be increased if he didn't get experience with dating and relationships, sex around the ages most people did, since after all one of the most common reasons women are attracted to older men is because they have more life experience, but if he is lacking in the dating/sex department, him being well set into his career sounds like it won't mean much to women Despite not having experience, such a guy will have women attracted to him because they will see the resources they can extract from him.
preraph Posted July 18, 2014 Posted July 18, 2014 A guy who's in his early to mid 20s usually isn't even looking to be monogamous, their brains haven't even yet fully developed, they usually don't have any money or that much going for them except that they may or may not look good. A 30 year old guy starts thinking about settling down, should have some experience and know what to do when life takes a swipe at him or his car breaks down, and should be about as solvent as he's ever going to be. I would say the biggest thing for me was the maturity level, not even the settling down part which I wasn't doing anyway. If a man is still flaky at 30, he's never going to improve. So at 30, you can kind of see what you're getting, where at 24, the pothead slacker you marry may turn into an ambitious career guy -- or he may still be a pothead slacker at 70. It's a crap shoot marrying young people, male or female.
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