Male vs Female reaction post-breakup

[Simon Phoenix]

I live here too. It CAN be disgusting for everyone, not only for men. My point is - it is not only women who are disgusting here as you seem to have implied in your first post. Can't you see that? That's surprising. In any case - you might be looking for people based on the wrong reasons - "total knockout" seems important to you, and your female friends seem shallow idiots. To base a whole gender in shallow people seems wrong.

 

I think that's his point too, that the disgusting behavior encompasses both genders, not just men, and not just women. We all are capable of disgusting behavior, of ruminating and have issues with loss, or of brushing ourselves off quickly and moving on. I personally have acted in all three ways (not proud of the first) and honestly, the difference between how I've acted depended a lot on if I was the one to call it off or if I was the one who had the rug pulled out from under me.

 

In my time on here (reading mostly things from dumpees because dumpees dominate this site, especially this section of the site) I've observed that gender doesn't really matter. The few dumpers that come on here tend to have that "whoa, crap, maybe I screwed up" moment down the road than right away and it's something that encompasses both genders.

[mtnbiker3000]

I didn't really read through all of this, but my thought is it kinda comes down to biology.

 

Men chase women. Women get chased. Women have more choice. Women can be more picky about who they agree to date when single. Women may not feel as bad for as long, as there is usually always someone else waiting 'on deck'.

 

Men? Not so much...

 

Of course, this is only at a surface level, and emotions play a big part for both sex's.

 

Just sayin', women have what men want, not vice versa, and that is an advantage when single, whether from a breakup or not!!!

 

If I had women consonantly hitting on me and wanting to date me, I think I would have had a much easier time getting over my BU, at least from the crushed ego angle.

[edgygirl]

I really identify with all Claire's points:

 

try to make a relationship work - CHECk

men feel sad afterwards, men feel lonely - CHECk

women thend to be relieved but emotionally drained - - CHECk

men can get back on their horse and start lookingfor their next partner

women tend to do more emotional hibernation.

 

YEAH. bring it own.

 

Thats's what I want - I like to make people think that all things can be differrent that what they seem. Even if the majority doesnt acredita,

 

Then you live in a weird society.

 

Women usually try to make a relationship work. Most relationships are ended by women...by no means all. In general women feel sad afterwards...men feel lonely. Women tend to be relieved but emotionally drained. Men can get back on the horse and start looking for their next partner...women tend to do more emotional hibernation.

 

Of course,there are all types of exceptions.

[zhaulk]

I don't see the correlation. I still think that's generalizing. Men and women both feel this way and like others have said it usually depends on who dumped who. Men do think more logically while women do so more emotionally, but that hurts the theory more than it helps it.

[BC1980]

I think it's a dumper/dumpee thing. We could talk about how our culture has socialized men and women to show their emotions differently, but it doesn't change the emotions. Is that what you are getting at? I think this forum, because it's anonymous, is probably good insight into emotions after a breakup. I haven't seen anything to suggest any differences between men and women, but I have seen loads of dumpees asking and doing the same things. It's really uncanny how the thought patterns are so similar.

[Andy_K]

I think there's certainly some truth in this. Even when dumped I've occasionally felt just a bit of relief at the newfound freedom and possibilities opening up.

 

Being single for a while takes it's toll though. The reality of being single sinks in...You remember how difficult it is to find someone you are genuinely interested in who likes you back. You start to miss what you had, even if it wasn't 'right'. Not having regular sex or affection takes it's psychological toll.

[NC-Thomas]

I didn't really read through all of this, but my thought is it kinda comes down to biology.

 

Men chase women. Women get chased. Women have more choice. Women can be more picky about who they agree to date when single. Women may not feel as bad for as long, as there is usually always someone else waiting 'on deck'.

 

Men? Not so much...

 

Of course, this is only at a surface level, and emotions play a big part for both sex's.

 

Just sayin', women have what men want, not vice versa, and that is an advantage when single, whether from a breakup or not!!!

 

If I had women consonantly hitting on me and wanting to date me, I think I would have had a much easier time getting over my BU, at least from the crushed ego angle.

 

I get where your going, but what your saying isn't all true.

 

Woman have more choice? Why? Because they get so many men walking by and talking to them? No.

 

Yes women can reject men, but they generally don't take the initiative (seldom). But guess what, men do. They approach woman, meaning they are selecting woman.

 

So generally speaking a woman only has so much choice (limited to the men that approach them). Men on the other side can approach as many woman as they want. Meaning I have more options. I rarely see woman approach men for romantic or sexual purposes.

 

I came to a point in my life when I choice where I decided i'm selecting woman and no longer the other way around. I feel that once a girl feels that im selecting her and not the other way around, I become a lot more appealing to her. As i'm not trying to seek her approval or putting her on some holy pedestal. Never forget your value.

 

Please think about it from a different perspective. And don't forget, a woman may get a lot of attention, but she is generally looking for a guy that doesnt just want sex, but someone she can build upon. This means she has to filter out a lot of bad apples, so don't expect her so be so " fortunate ".

 

However, if she wants she can have sex with another men within a couple of day after BU. Yes, but those are generally shallow, sex driven men.

 

Moral of this story.

 

1. Thinks aren't always what they seem.
   
2. Think and BE the selector, not the selectee.
   

Edited July 18, 2014 by NC-Thomas

[Simon Phoenix]

I get where your going, but what your saying isn't all true.

 

Woman have more choice? Why? Because they get so many men walking by and talking to them? No.

 

Yes women can reject men, but they generally don't take the initiative (seldom). But guess what, men do. They approach woman, meaning they are selecting woman.

 

So generally speaking a woman only has so much choice (limited to the men that approach them). Men on the other side can approach as many woman as they want. Meaning I have more options. I rarely see woman approach men for romantic or sexual purposes.

 

I came to a point in my life when I choice where I decided i'm selecting woman and no longer the other way around. I feel that once a girl feels that im selecting her and not the other way around, I become a lot more appealing to her. As i'm not trying to seek her approval or putting her on some holy pedestal. Never forget your value.

 

Please think about it from a different perspective. And don't forget, a woman may get a lot of attention, but she is generally looking for a guy that doesnt just want sex, but someone she can build upon. This means she has to filter out a lot of bad apples, so don't expect her so be so " fortunate ".

 

However, if she wants she can have sex with another men within a couple of day after BU. Yes, but those are generally shallow, sex driven men.

 

Moral of this story.

 

1. Thinks aren't always what they seem.
   
2. Think and BE the selector, not the selectee.
   

 

This is some weird pick-up artist propaganda. All he was saying is that it's typically easier for the average woman to get laid and get a date than the average man, which is pretty much true. No need to delve much deeper into whatever tangent you're on.

[NC-Thomas]

This is some weird pick-up artist propaganda. All he was saying is that it's typically easier for the average woman to get laid and get a date than the average man, which is pretty much true. No need to delve much deeper into whatever tangent you're on.

 

If you disagree: feel free to share your views in a somewhat more constructive manner...

[Simon Phoenix]

If you disagree: feel free to share your views in a somewhat more constructive manner...

 

Already did.

 

it's typically easier for the average woman to get laid and get a date than the average man, which is pretty much true.

 

And sorry, your post came off as something that was copied and pasted from a pick-up artist website. It's great you have confidence, but if a woman and a man walked into a bar and said "I need to get laid, who wants to help me out?", the woman would get a ton of guys intrigued at the very least while the guy would get laughed at and dismissed by the women that were present. Whether or not a woman would actually do something like that is irrelevant to the post you responded to.

[edgygirl]

Thank you Andy.

 

That's the kind of insight that I am curious about!

 

It makes so much sense to me that men would feel this way. That's why my friend's theory rung so true to me.

 

As I said I think lots of women, either when dumper/dumpee, they kind of mourn the loss of possibilities, the loss of what could have been, even when they decide they don't like the guy that much and break up with him. They initially hurt... for a while... but then finally see it with more clarity when emotions are not involved anymore, and then they usually get over it and it's hard to find a way back to someone. Exactly the opposite from what you describe.

 

I think there's certainly some truth in this. Even when dumped I've occasionally felt just a bit of relief at the newfound freedom and possibilities opening up.

 

Being single for a while takes it's toll though. The reality of being single sinks in...You remember how difficult it is to find someone you are genuinely interested in who likes you back. You start to miss what you had, even if it wasn't 'right'. Not having regular sex or affection takes it's psychological toll.