My gf recently broke up with me after being 2 years in a relationship with me

[incog]

Hi,

 

My gf recently broke up with me after being 2 years in a relationship with me.

 

We first met at our workplace as co-worker. We worked together for about 2 weeks and then she went to another branch where she used to work . She used to pop in to our branch once in a while and used to come directly to me and talk. I never looked at her with the intention to be in a relationship with her. One evening she came to our branch and it was really busy and she approached me and we talked for a min. Then she asked me if I want to meet her someday and I was in an awkward situation as how to say no so I said yes and she gave me her number.

 

Out of niceness I messaged her one day asking how's she so that she doesn't feel ignored. I would like to mention she was not from UK but from an European country while I was a south Asian Muslim. He didn't had any friend as she was not social-able type but was very nice as a human being.

 

She replied me back and we started chatting and sometimes talking over the phone. She was very shy but always showed much interest in me. I was the one who was avoiding her in a polite manner as I didn't want to be in a relation with a non-Muslim. We continued chatting and talking and became good friends. Suddenly she went back home and started a course there. So we were totally out of touch for 8/9 months. I was not bothered as I saw her as a friend only. One day I received call and found out she came to London few hours ago and she called my branch and I was off and spoke with one of my manager whom she knows and after she called me and we spoke and like before she was giving me hints that she likes me and want serious relationship with me. She was never in a relationship before neither was I.

 

So we met and started speaking over the phone. We became really good friends as we use to share almost anything and everything. She used to ask me if she converts am i gonna marry her this and that and I used to avoid answering them. Time went by I started liking her more than a friend and after 3 months I told her on her birthday I am in love with her. She was over the moon, her face was glowing and she was overjoyed.

 

Our relationship continued and after 3 months we went back home to start her 2nd year. We were basically in a long distance relationship and she used to come 2/3 times in London a year and used to stay with her sister's family for like 4 to 5 weeks each time of her visit. She used to wassup me all day long 6 in the morning till i go to bed. She had only 2/3 friends and all female. I was never worried about the fact that she might see someone there while she was with me as I never looked at any girls or wanted to talk or flirt as my heart and all my love was for her only. She was so series. One year went successfully with few little fights. She used to fight with me all the time on one issue only and that was i sometimes used to reply late like 10/12 mins late. I used to live with my friends sometimes we were watching tv or cooking or discussing things and that used to make me late to reply her but not more than 10/15 mins. And she was so so so short tempered and used to get angry in second. there were days like when she got any 8/10 times and I used to convince her thinking that she is the love of my life and if I react and get angry who will calm us down. I rarely used to reach and she used to acknowledge that and used to say sorry but her biggest enemies was my friends. She never liked them. My friends are with me since I am 7 and I don't have much only 5. She used to say i am giving more time them and I tried to explain her she lives in another country if she was here I would have been with her most of the times. Only problem with her was she never liked anyone around me and wanted all my time for her only. I am a student and I work and it's very difficult to ignore everyone.

 

But still I made effort and tried to convey to my friends indirectly by getting out of touch at times, they were my best mates but only for her happiness i did it. Time went by I used to spend all my days at like 5 days of a week with her after work I used to meet her almost everyday whenever she stayed in London and we used to go for walks, shopping, eating, cinema etc.

 

We used to fight a lot but she used to start that and at times she used to say sometimes she asks for too much not material wise but time wise. I did everything to keep her happy. As I am Muslim when we started our relation I made it very clear to her that she has to convert and she agreed happily and told me she will do anything for my happiness. I told her she can take things slowly as I dont expect her to learn everything as we come from two different parts of the world and most importantly 2 different religion. I am a practicing Muslim thus I never wanted to be in a relation before marriage but after getting to know her I became very weak and fall in love and thought life does not give too many chances and as she is a wonderful girl who is so so so caring and loving I will regret if I lose her and so proposed her.

 

Things were going smooth. She came in London this end of this March (2014) but we had a big of fight at the start of March and on mutual understanding we broke up to some extent. A week went and I was completely broken and I realized how much i love her and won't be able to live without. So I started texting her after 5 days after trying so much not to contact her. She said she cried a lot and we patch up again. I was so happy.

 

Then end of March came and she came to London. Just to mention she was very stubborn so was I but I used to sacrifice my stubbornness only for her happiness but with other I was stubborn.

Every time she used to come in early weekday mornings and as I start work from 7 in the morning I rarely went to receive her from the airport but this time she came on a Sunday so I told her I will come to receive her and she said no because I jokingly said once" ooh I won't be able to sleep this Sunday morning because of you" and she too it seriously. I was only teasing her and got furious and said no. I insisted so many times that i will come but she was adamant. So i gave up fearing if i go to receive her out of anger she will create scene in the airport so I went to see her in the evening and she was angry and didn't text me after reaching home. i woke up late and immediately texted her and called her realizing I was in trouble. She didn't replied to both. I got tensed thinking if she was ok and so texted her elder sis asking if she reached home safely and sister said yes and she is sleeping . I left text saying i will come in the evening to see her and trust me I was so happy as i will gonna see her in the evening, i was over the moon. We meet she was upset and told me I could have surprised her but i told i was scared if she reacted badly but also realizing I did a mistake, I had a chance to surprise her.

 

2 weeks went we had small fights but its was ok. I loved her madly and she was in deep love as well. Then we had this big fight and i didn't meet her for a week. She took the step we break the ice and approached her as I knew she loves me so she wont be able to stay anger for long as this is the case with me. She told me she wanted to see spider man movie so I booked tickets for us in her favorite cinema hall a week later. Just before 3 days to the cinema we fought on something that i dont like when she does and knowing that she did it on purpose so I left her in the middle of the street and didn't even looked back, put my phone on silent and didn't answer her call. She called many times. the following day I cancelled the tickets as I was extremely angry and informed her. We didn't talk for another 2/3 days and I found from her fb we went alone to see it and I was angry but than consoled myself thinking she was so eager to see it and that's y she went and I may have overreacted. 10/12 days went by we were fine and she went back home in April.

 

I was mentally and financially struggling for the last year and was finding it hard to finance my education. She was aware of all this and used to say we will get stable together don't worry. I used to feel so blessed to have a partner like her.

 

I am mentally depressed which she knew because of my financial condition. And off late I used to get angry quick and explained it to her many times to bear with me as she can see my financial situation. i was so depressed. I told her not to text me or call me for at least 2 days as I wanted to refresh my mind. 3 days passed by no text, 1 week went, 2 weeks went I got tensed the person who used to get restless if I didn't text her for an hour now didn't text me for 3 weeks. i texed her and said

sorry and asked why she didn't text back. She said she was busy and I was naive to believe in that as I was in blind love. She started texting me less and less and I was worried of losing her. And she stopped texting me. Finally after 10 days two months ago in the middle of May(2014) I called her to find out what was wrong and to my surprise she was extremely cold. She was not excited that i called her and at one point I asked her whatl exactly she thinks about us. She replied she don't see any future and I asked after almost 2 years she just realised and also asked if it means its over for her, she said seems like I was so angry I said ok and hung up thinking we fought so many times in the past so its one of them things. but little did I know it was over for her.

 

I consoled my heart saying she wasn't in my fate and our differences due to culture, religion were the reasons and said myself if she is happy I am happy too.

 

But in this two months from May until today I regularly visit her fb to see her face despite she deleted me from her friends list after that call. Only 5 days ago she changed her profile pic and uploaded a pic with a guy holding his waist and i felt the whole sky was over me. I was paralyzed by seeing that. I went to that guys profile and found out they were in relation since april this year. I received the shock of my life. She was with me in this april in London but she started speaking with that guy from her city who lives here. i couldn't believe my eyes.

 

I texted her asking why she cheated on me while i loved her with all my heart. She didn't reply back I left about 13 messages to which she replied thrice and asked to not to bother her.

 

I keep wondering why she did this to me. i asked her Y, she didn't answer. I still love her but she cheated me.

 

What do you think y she cheated on me despite giving all those sweet and love talks and chasing me for almost 1 and half years before we started our relation. I am completely broken now and don't know what to do.

 

Why do you think she did it? I asked her it didn't happen overnight, she didn't went with that guy overnight, she started talking with him with the intention to cheat me but y she didn't tell me when she was here in April?

[Chi townD]

Biggest problem. You're Muslim, she's not. She said she would convert, apparently she's not. You weren't going to leave Islam, and being a Muslim woman can be very stressful especially if you weren't born into it. She had a change of heart.

 

 

Chalk it up as lessons learned and then find yourself a Muslim woman.

[incog]

It's so hard to forget. I loved her so much and she didn't bother to tell me it's over for her. I had to call to find that out. Moreover, during the 1st 1 and half years of friendship she told me so many times she would convert if I say yes to the relation but I was not in love with her she was just a friend to me during that time. But after we started our relation after 1 and half years of knowing each other she said she would convert. Also she used to tell me she won't be able to love anyone like the way she loves me. But now when I see she writes"I love you" to her new bf in fb it kills me

[Chi townD]

Well, here's the rub. Your relationship probably wouldn't have worked out. If she said she was going to convert, it would have been for all the wrong reasons. She would have needed to convert because she truly believes in (and embraces) the Muslim faith and it's teachings. Not to convert just to be with a guy.

 

 

Look, I know you're hurting. But, you have to let this one go. And the first thing you need to do is go NC and block her from all of your social media.

[incog]

Hi thanks for your reply.

 

The thing is before we started our relation and when we were friends only she used to talk about Islam and how reading Qur'an gives her inner peace. We were in relation for almost 2 years so why she didn't told me within first couple of months if Islam was an issue for her and knowing I am a practicing Muslim and I made everything clear how strict I am.

 

She removed me from all social sites, but her love pulls me like anything and I can't resist myself to go see her face in fb while she left me almost 3 months ago.

 

One thing I can't understand and hurts me most is she started with that guy in April when she was with me in London and we had very good times. The last meeting that we had before she left you won't believe how much love she showed, how can she act so well if it was acting and also she chased me for almost 1.5 years just to get yes from me. I am 25 and she is 26 years and she was my first ever love and relationship with. Same goes for her.

 

She always used to tell me how lucky she is to have me?How can she change so quickly? We didn't talk with each other for three weeks from this April to May and that's when it happened I think? But how can love change so quickly? I can't even imagine to love someone else now? How could she change so quickly?Any idea?

Edited July 17, 2014 by incog

[emotionalMess]

Sorry man.

 

Don't even think about it. This is typical by the book behavior. You can either waste months and months of your time feeling rejected and wonder the "What If" or "why" or you can start to move on right now.

 

She lost interest, for all the reasons you wrote. There is no way she is coming back no matter what you do. The more you try, the more hurt you will be and the more she will dislike you and lose respect for you. You walk away with your pride now thinking that although there were tough times, you were faithful through those times. This is the best you can do for yourself.

 

You must go complete No Contact right now. Block her from everything, deactivate your facebook so you cannot see hers.

Do not respond to anything from her no matter what!

 

Don't hesitate, don't talk yourself into doing anything else, you came to the right place.

[incog]

Sorry man.

 

Don't even think about it. This is typical by the book behavior. You can either waste months and months of your time feeling rejected and wonder the "What If" or "why" or you can start to move on right now.

 

She lost interest, for all the reasons you wrote. There is no way she is coming back no matter what you do. The more you try, the more hurt you will be and the more she will dislike you and lose respect for you. You walk away with your pride now thinking that although there were tough times, you were faithful through those times. This is the best you can do for yourself.

 

You must go complete No Contact right now. Block her from everything, deactivate your facebook so you cannot see hers.

Do not respond to anything from her no matter what!

 

Don't hesitate, don't talk yourself into doing anything else, you came to the right place.

 

Hi thanks for your reply.

 

She removed me from all social sites, but her love pulls me like anything and I can't resist myself to go see her face in fb while she left me almost 3 months ago.

 

One thing I can't understand and hurts me most is she started with that guy in April when she was with me in London and we had very good times. The last meeting that we had before she left you won't believe how much love she showed, how can she act so well if it was acting and also she chased me for almost 1.5 years just to get yes from me. I am 25 and she is 26 years and she was my first ever love and relationship with. Same goes for her.

 

She always used to tell me how lucky she is to have me?How can she change so quickly? We didn't talk with each other for three weeks from this April to May and that's when it happened I think? But how can love change so quickly? I can't even imagine to love someone else now? How could she change so quickly?Any idea?