IrishDater Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 I've been half ass'ing dating for a while now. Work and trying to get into better shape been a priority. (32 by the way) Gave match a try again. Dated several, narrowed down to two then one really got my attention. I hesitate to say stole heart cuz it was only 5 dates BUT we first met June 20th and racked up 5 dates in under a month. Really really fell for her. Edge, smile, smarts, job, tattoos....had it all. Well she decided after agreeing to a 6th date that actually her feelings didnt match mine. I didnt profess love or anything but certainly made it obvious I was available, liked her, wanted to see her at all costs. That said.... Gut says to give her a break, no contact for awhile, month at least. Then hand make her this flower pot stand she needs and drop it on her doorstep with a note saying lets give it another try or something like that. Or I could get back on match or F dating for a bit. I write for movies for fun so maybe I'm picturing this too hollywood with my flower pot stand idea BUT man, I really was into her and think she just got nervous things were moving fast feelings wise. We only made out.
Emilia Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 That said.... Gut says to give her a break, no contact for awhile, month at least. Then hand make her this flower pot stand she needs and drop it on her doorstep with a note saying lets give it another try or something like that. Or I could get back on match or F dating for a bit. I write for movies for fun so maybe I'm picturing this too hollywood with my flower pot stand idea BUT man, I really was into her and think she just got nervous things were moving fast feelings wise. We only made out. how old are you?
mammasita Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 I think you need to leave her alone. You showing a little stalker potential here.
Author IrishDater Posted July 16, 2014 Author Posted July 16, 2014 how old are you? I am 32 years old.
Author IrishDater Posted July 16, 2014 Author Posted July 16, 2014 I think you need to leave her alone. You showing a little stalker potential here. Seriously? Thats what you got from my post. I guess it's hard to tell from writing but that's far from the case. I'm not a serial texting and pleading to get her back. Just clicked and fell for her and felt the same with her when we were together. I'm not ignorant to think I wont feel the same for someone else, just a matter of time and moving on. I just felt a connection with her, more than I've had in a while.
mammasita Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 Seriously? Thats what you got from my post. I guess it's hard to tell from writing but that's far from the case. I'm not a serial texting and pleading to get her back. Just clicked and fell for her and felt the same with her when we were together. I'm not ignorant to think I wont feel the same for someone else, just a matter of time and moving on. I just felt a connection with her, more than I've had in a while. Yes, thats what I got. If she told you her feelings weren't reciprocated, then what good is it going to do if you back off and try again in a few weeks? From where I'm sitting.......pretty much none. I get that it seems kind of romantic to do the little flower pot thing on her doorstep and sure you can take a chance and try it......but I'm not sure why what she told you isn't sinking in? 1
leavesonautumn Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 When she says she's not interested, it means she's not interested. Yup, you want a hollywood ending with this person but it's not going to happen. Why waste your time on someone who doesn't feel the same way?
Author IrishDater Posted July 16, 2014 Author Posted July 16, 2014 Yes, thats what I got. If she told you her feelings weren't reciprocated, then what good is it going to do if you back off and try again in a few weeks? From where I'm sitting.......pretty much none. I get that it seems kind of romantic to do the little flower pot thing on her doorstep and sure you can take a chance and try it......but I'm not sure why what she told you isn't sinking in? It's not that she said she hated my guts and I'm ugly She said she felt I was more into her than she was that she takes longer to get to know someone. My interpretation is that she knew I was 100% into her and she liked me but was still feeling things out. That she was nervous I was moving too fast feelings wise and she doesnt move that fast. Easiest thing to do is step back on her part. She even said she thinks she's probably making a mistake but is going with feelings. She was in a long term and just got back into dating. I'm pretty simple and maybe she thought, 'oh crap, this is getting serious and I dont want to get hurt again' and backed off. Thats possible. I really got to know her and think her work, social life, and past prevented her from being 100% available that I was looking for. Saying its stalker'ish is insulting as thats far from the case. Things arent always so black and white. 1
AlphaC Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 Well she decided after agreeing to a 6th date that actually her feelings didnt match mine. Or I could get back on match or F dating for a bit. Dude, leave it alone. She went out with you for a few dates and found you were not a match. You met her online, women get bombarded with messages, even the fat ugly chics get lots of messages from thirsty guys online. She doesn't want you, i'm sure she is seeing someone else, I wouldn't be surprised if she is with a few guys. Just like you cut off the other girls for her, she cut you for some other guy. Either way, she is not your girl, don't give her that dumb pot, plant, or flowers. Get back online and keep dating. Wait until you are with a girl for 6 months before you stop dating others, trust me. You are 32, you are in your prime, don't settle for a woman after 5 dates. She should be the one putting presents by your door.
leavesonautumn Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 It's not that she said she hated my guts and I'm ugly She said she felt I was more into her than she was that she takes longer to get to know someone. My interpretation is that she knew I was 100% into her and she liked me but was still feeling things out. That she was nervous I was moving too fast feelings wise and she doesnt move that fast. Easiest thing to do is step back on her part. She even said she thinks she's probably making a mistake but is going with feelings. She was in a long term and just got back into dating. I'm pretty simple and maybe she thought, 'oh crap, this is getting serious and I dont want to get hurt again' and backed off. Thats possible. I really got to know her and think her work, social life, and past prevented her from being 100% available that I was looking for. Saying its stalker'ish is insulting as thats far from the case. Things arent always so black and white. I was in the same position with the guy I went on a few dates with. It's not that I was seeing other guys but I just did not want to get into something again and not with this guy. It's not always about people dating or wanting to date others. Sometimes you just aren't feeling it.
Simon Phoenix Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 Yeah, this "taking a month off and then trying a feeble romantic gesture to try to win her back" thing is a terrible idea. This isn't a movie, this is real life and in real life, when someone says they aren't into you, that's exactly what it means. She needs to be the one to come calling you, not the other way around.
Antares Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 No! Do not make her anything. She'll either feel super uncomfortable, pity you, feel guilty for hurting your, or feel creeped out. You say she has an edge, right? Edgy girls don't want romantic gifts after they dump a guy. Edgy girls want that guy to vanish. I know it's hard man. In May I was dating this cool girl. We had been dating for about 1.5 months. We clicked instantly. Our first date ended with us making out and she remarked how there was no awkwardness between us. During the next few weeks she slept over a few times a week and was hinting around at what I look for in gf. Then one day, she texted me that we need to brake up. Poof. Gone. I replied to say goodbye and that was it. I haven't heard a single word from her since May. And honestly, I have no desire to talk or get back with her. And as a second example; last year I was dating this girl for 4 months. She was lovely and amazing. Exactly what I want. We clicked and had some great times. But she ended too. She came back about 3 months of NC looking to chat. And chat we did. Had a great couple of conversations. But she still didn't want to try again. I still think about that one. In either case, it's really best to just move on. She knows where you're at. She knows she could say "hey, wanna try again?". She doesn't need a flower pot to get her emotions going.
todreaminblue Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 I find it a sweet idea almost scared to write it considering the responses...actually innovative ...persistence with me pays off though so i guess......ill throw caution to the wind and i have to go against everyone else and say do it....then wait for her response.......if every person refused to take risks....there would be no google.....or yahoo i other crazy named things in the world....do you be who you are follow yoru heart ....be prepared to fail.......failure is actually good......learned that one in an online innovation creativity course...dont be afraid to fail .. I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can't accept not trying yep einstein ...deb 1
FoolishMan Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 I think your flower pot stand was a great idea! Certainly not stalkerish, you like this woman and giving it another shot. However, I would now listen to your gut and let this one lie. Give it some distance to see if she contacts you. If she isn't interested in a relationship and you persist, you will get really hurt somewhere down the line. Good luck! 1
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