greenhorn Posted February 21, 2005 Posted February 21, 2005 Well the story is that my ex dumped me when i got conclusive proof that she was cheating me..when i confronted her on phone she started giving me excuse that no what i have found out is not true blah..blah...it happened in evening... So that night i wrote her a mail saying all those blah blah things like you broke my trust of 7 years and in the morning i went to hospital..didnt get a chance to talk to her..when i came back from hospital i saw that she had replied to that mail that she never loved me...i was the one who was running after her ...i was the one who was always begging her to spend some time with me...and she was doing this just that she was so good and didnt want to hurt me...can you imagine one sided relationship can go for 7 years(of course last10 months was bitter) Since in the hospital i had decided that i wont talk to her ever again and i started NC so i didnt reply to that mail and now it is 3 months of NC..but sometimes i get this urge of going and shouting at her that why are you saying lie about your past..dont you have the cheeks to admit that you found someone better and you dumped me . Whenever i think about it .it makes me so pitable that according to her i was begging to her to spend some time and she was doing mercy on me ..Bull****.....I just have this strong urge to shout and scream at her to vent my steam...but alas NC is holding me down.. how do i vent my anger? Why she does not have cheeks to say that she found someone better and dumped me? Were the mails that i found in her inbox not sufficient to prove this ??
FolderWife Posted February 21, 2005 Posted February 21, 2005 What a @#&%$!# $%&>@ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Author greenhorn Posted February 21, 2005 Author Posted February 21, 2005 Originally posted by tiki Go gay. yeah but which one...
Podna Posted February 21, 2005 Posted February 21, 2005 Originally posted by greenhorn how do i vent my anger? I think you are a bit like me greenhorn. When I get mad I need a release of some kind. Betrayal is one of the worst kinds of angers for me. Take the betrayal and multiply that by the fact that she did that typical tit-for-tat bull****. “Oh yeah, well I never really love you, so there!” Yeah, that would push the pissed factor up a good bit. Those kinds of anger (assuming you’re like I am) eat you up inside until you release it, and the best way to release it is to find a constructive outlet. I mean, after all, we don’t want you going out and kicking small puppies or eating children or anything like that. What I found was a punching bag. It hangs on the back porch and gets the $hit kicked out of it on a regular basis. Not only does it allow you to vent your frustration but it is also a fairly good workout. Get a glove though, because it kills your knuckles.
KANSAN Posted February 21, 2005 Posted February 21, 2005 Found someone better, probably not. Keep your head up she is doing you a favor by not screwing any more of your life. I wish their was an easy way to handle this that I could tell you, just know that you can do better deserve better than that. Peace
Author greenhorn Posted February 21, 2005 Author Posted February 21, 2005 Yeah thanks Podna... I dont have this urge to shout everytime but sometimes i feel what the heck how can i allow this to happen to me.Mostly when i get up in morning i get these thoughts..yeah punching bag will help but i want to punch her..i want to take revenge of my humiliation...but i dont want to contact her even... it is having bad repurcussion as well cause sometimes in some of the situations i over react and people are surprised that why did i over-react but i know cause i found some semblance to my personal situation.Thats why i wanted to vent it out so that it does not ruins my professional life as well.It is making me grumpy as well but i try to read jokes and somehow try to keep myself in good humour. I just want her to come to me,look in my eyes and say that "Yes i dumped you"
Author greenhorn Posted February 21, 2005 Author Posted February 21, 2005 Originally posted by KANSAN Found someone better, probably not. Peace I sincererly wish this comes out true.Yeah its wrong to think someone's misfortune but i am human not GOD so i have my emotions.....
Podna Posted February 21, 2005 Posted February 21, 2005 Originally posted by greenhorn Yeah thanks Podna... I just want her to come to me,look in my eyes and say that "Yes i dumped you" I don’t think that is going to happen. She has proven that she is weak, and she sure isn’t going to give you anything you need/want. You’re doing the right thing, keep doing what you’re doing. Just gut it out and beat the hell outa something.
moon Posted February 21, 2005 Posted February 21, 2005 I think you really have to ask yourself why this looney girl has such a hold on you. What do you think she has that you don't? What's the draw exactly? Why are you holding so tight onto her dark memory? Are you simply attracted to the fact that she's rejecting you? Is it that you need to work on your own self esteem (damn don't we all). But, ahh, this girl sounds like real trouble. She sounds like she just likes to play with your mind. You know she might even be enjoying hurting you. Or she's just so shallow she doesn't even think that she's hurt you. But you have to try to muzzle the anger. Look at it like this: You could get mad about tons of things in life. You could get furious that somebody cuts you off on the freeway, you could go balistic because you don't have enough money to buy the new sports car you want, you could loose your mind because a friend doesn't return your call for a few days. But what's it going to solve? What's it going to do for you? You should try to get to a place where, sad as it may be, you realize your ex is just a silly human, who likes to torment people. But what's this got to do with you anymore. You have to take yourself out of her spider web. Just get the memories out of your head. The anger only goes away when you release it. You don't have to physically take it out on anything, you just have to breath and say release. And let it go. You have the control and the power. I have read some of your posts and it sounds like you waver back and forth between forgetting and remembering hard. I do this too sometimes, but you just have to push yourself back to that place where you are letting it all go. Somebody did you wrong. Somebody screwed you over. You have to really say to yourself, damn sometimes life just isn't fair. MAN....I GOT F*CKED!! And that's about the best you can do!!! But the future is yours. Good luck.
aarsky Posted February 21, 2005 Posted February 21, 2005 You know my ex is calling me more and more now. I admit ive been emailing her as well, but the bottom line is "take care of your own needs" like I am starting to do. Mine goes to work, makes money, takes care of her daughter and so on so why shoud I not do the same. The communication can be friendly, but at the samer time im the most important person in my life right now with my kids. Stop focusing on her already. Leave her alone and do what you need to do for you. Coming from a guy with a very limited social life, if i could do it you can too.
Author greenhorn Posted February 21, 2005 Author Posted February 21, 2005 Moon, Yes i remember you answering and helping me right from the first thread of mine. thats true that i waver back and forth, sometimes i am strong as Atlas and sometimes i am as weak as a creeper. Your first questions are lot meaningful.Yeah i need to get the memories out of my head,whenever they come to my head i start feeling uneasy.I will do this if i can carry on 3 months the NC then i can get fully rid of her. Yeah aarsky she would be happy there with her new bf,enjoying her times with him so why should i waste my time.I just dont know what she thinks of am i that servile .you know she blocked me on Yahoo messenger or changed her mail id,she though that if i see her online i would ping her but i am not that spineless fellow.I have my own dignity and i care for my dignity more than her. Thanks you all..
moon Posted February 21, 2005 Posted February 21, 2005 Why she does not have cheeks to say that she found someone better and dumped me? Also please stop thinking that she found somebody better than you. Here's the reality... I am dealing with this and have dealt with this myself. She might have found somebody better for her, but don't ever think that person is better than you. Think about your own life. I am sure you have friends in your life that you relate to more than others. Some friends just have different characteristics that you relate to more. If anything, this girl found somebody who she thinks is better for her.......BUT don't ever think that person is better than you. That's just not fair to you. That's just going to make you wallow in self pity about it. I mean you could stick yourself in a room of 100 people and through your own self conscious desires and needs, you may pick out a handful of those people that you want to talk to. You might try to be close to all 100, but let's face it all people are different. We don't get along with everybody. So look at your exes new "boyfriend" as different, but never better. Just like somebody out there is better for you. Let's face it. It doesn't sound like this girl is right for you. Just forget about what's right for her. She's out of the picture. Her needs and desires, games or otherwise, are thankfully (say praise the Lord to that) none of your concern. You got your get out of jail free card..........now give a moment of silent blessing for that. Take care of yourself. Put your faith in the fact that for seven years you needed to learn something from this situation, but it's the end of the line. You have to close that door and let a new one open up. It doesn't sound like you were getting much from this relationship anyway. You were begging her to hang out with you? That's never fun. What's so good about her that you have to beg for her attention? What was she giving you in return?
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