Claysmommy Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 (edited) I've known this guy since October. In the beginning we both liked each other a lot. We would talk all day , text all day, etc. And then one day he stopped doing it as frequently. I got insecure. I played a lot of games, he got hurt , then started to play the games back and then we just sort of friend zoned each other. It was very apparent that we both liked each other, but just couldn't stop playing games and weren't ready to date officially. So we became friends. Then I realized I wanted more and cut him off for about two months. Than we started taking again and I found out that he had always liked me and hadn't stopped. When we first started back talking I had it in my mind that I just wanted sex from him. So I started talking about sex more with him. At first he shyed away but then he engaged in it too. Eventually he started making more direct sexual comments toward me and trying to get me to come over to do things with him. For instance one day he talked about how he doesn't perform oral unless the girl is his girlfriend, then I agree I said I'm the same way I don't give oral unless the guys a bf. He then asks me to come over so that we can do oral on each other. I declined because I wasn't quite ready. Another instance I complained about how a friend of mine approached me with the idea to have an fwb and I said that I didn't want to catch feelings for this friend and then he told me that I should test it out with him to see if I was capable of having an fwb without catching feelings. Later on he admitted that every time he's had an fwb the girl has caught feelings for him... So I was like why would you propose this then? Another time he boasted to me about his sexual skills. So if you catch my drift basically I figured that he was secretly trying to get ms fwb in the works with me. I do want to add that back in may he asked me to date him and I brushed it off and he had made numerous attempts to hang out with me knowing there would be no sex. But overall I felt like he was trying to get an fwb going with me. But last week I told him I wanted him to be my fwb and he said he wanted to as well. But we have not had sex yet or even made plans to. Here is the weird thing about it: He keeps inviting me to meet his friends. He asks me out to events with him and his friends He wanted me to meet his brother and I have His dad has seen me He will texts me several times throughout the day He has not made attempts to get physical even when given the opportunity when I'm in his presence And finally he knows I have only had sex with one guy who was my first love and that I'm not experienced. I've asked him several times if he still thinks it's a good idea to have an fwb with me because of the possibility I will catch feelings for him and he ignores the question. He will make teasing comments like "do I get all warm and fuzzy thinking about him and me dating " or he will imply that I like him a lot. Even when I make it clear that I do not. I'm not completely sure how he feels about me anymore but do know that it appears that we both want sex with each other. Which is why I proposed it? Beyond some of the more irrelevant details I've included is this situation just not a good idea? I just don't feel like this is how an fwb is done but I have no idea... I mean is it normal to want to have your fwb meet your friends and family, to imply or want them to like you romantically, or to never arrange sex dates or anything physical? For the record we hung out on Friday with his brother And he made no sexual moves on me. Edited July 16, 2014 by Claysmommy
Candy_Pants Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 What are you not understanding? You know he likes you, sounds like you like him too. You can try being fwb but it'll be more like a relationship with no title or monogamy and someone will get hurt. Or you can both be honest and quit pussy-footing around and date. 2
Author Claysmommy Posted July 16, 2014 Author Posted July 16, 2014 I'm not in the right place for a relationship. And he said he wanted to do the fwb too when I asked him if he wanted to. He seemed excited about it too. but it's just weird because he won't try anything. I don't know how to get him to have sex with me. I know it sounds crass but we hang out and he does not try anything sexual. I just don't get it or how to properly get it going. I'm wondering if since we like each other maybe this is not a good idea. I have never done an fwb before but want sex lol.
Candy_Pants Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 Oh man. Don't have sex with this guy who is so obviously into you. It's messed up and you're just asking for drama. IME the only TRUE fwb situation that works out is one where both parties want sex but do not have romantic feelings and easily make the transition between friendship and ****ing. I've been lucky to have only one of those situations truly work. The other ones they caught feelings (or had them to begin with), or I caught feelings because the sex was incredible and so were they.
Author Claysmommy Posted July 16, 2014 Author Posted July 16, 2014 Oh man. Don't have sex with this guy who is so obviously into you. It's messed up and you're just asking for drama. IME the only TRUE fwb situation that works out is one where both parties want sex but do not have romantic feelings and easily make the transition between friendship and ****ing. I've been lucky to have only one of those situations truly work. The other ones they caught feelings (or had them to begin with), or I caught feelings because the sex was incredible and so were they. Okay thank you! I had no idea about who happen to be good candidates for it. I really want to have sex with him gah. Why would he have agreed to it if he knew deep down he might have feelings. Just not getting it but oh well. I don't have any male friends that I'm sexually attracted to. How do I get sex lol? I can't do ons either because I need to know the person really well before I sleep with them.
Zahara Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 Okay thank you! I had no idea about who happen to be good candidates for it. I really want to have sex with him gah. Why would he have agreed to it if he knew deep down he might have feelings. Just not getting it but oh well. I don't have any male friends that I'm sexually attracted to. How do I get sex lol? I can't do ons either because I need to know the person really well before I sleep with them. He was probably hoping sex would lead to an emotional attachment. You can find fwbs on dating sites. Create a profile and state what you are looking for and before you know it, you'll have a ton of candidates. You don't have to sleep with them right away. You can create your own boundaries and do your sex thing when you are ready. My gf did this and she has two fwbs and they treat her well. 1
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