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I don't know how to figure out if she loves me?


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Posted

We met as friends

 

started hanging out and cooking/watching tv together

 

I didn’t do anything as she said she had a bf overseas

 

eventually 2-3 months later, she seduced me

 

we decided to give it a go and slept together for a few months before she was supposed to go see her bf overseas and tell him about us

 

she went to see him, and told him, but then came back and told me she still loved him

 

so we separated for a few weeks

 

I eventually caved in and said I wanted a second chance

 

so we slept together another few months before her bf came to visit her, as they had planned before we met

 

she said she was going to tell him it was over, but then slept with him while he was visiting

 

we separated and that was it until she offered to take me away for the weekend to make up for it

 

we ended up sleeping together and more or less, off and on, kind of got back together but my heart was broken… i didn’t feel the same love, or as much love for her anymore

 

i decided to try and be patient and see if my love grew back

 

but she kept demanding 100% commitment from me to move in together and be de-facto so she could get residency and ‘stay with me’

 

i couldn’t as I knew she didn’t really love me and would leave me whenever she wanted felt like it

 

we kept trying just as is, with no expectations, but she kept demeaning more commitment as she feels pressed to get residency within two years and it takes over a year to apply

 

eventually she got tired of waiting for me to commit, as i just wanted to give it some time (we only know each other about 8-9 months when she wanted to move in together and get married (de-facto) to think about things…

 

I now still have no idea what to do?

 

I think either she loves me (or me and the prospect if a visa) and I am just thinking she only wants me for a visa, but I can't tell

 

or -

 

she doesn't love me, and is just using me for a visa

 

…I don’t know how to figure out which?

Posted

But wait, she still has a boyfriend?

Posted

Well, visa or no visa, she isn't committed to you, so why should you commit to her? Sounds like she's only good for a FWB situation while you try and meet other girls who already have citizenship.

Posted

At that point, she's using you, yes. You took her back twice. How many times is she going to have to "cheat" on you for you to open your eyes. I say "cheat" because technically you're "the other guy".

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Posted

She has said that her and her 'ex' bf don't have sex anymore, but I know she spent a few nights with him when he visited her... I think he is older, and she may be looking towards me for someone younger to start a family with - and also get her visa residency with, as he doesn't live here...

 

I know I should walk away... I just remember the feelings when we first met - friends are still talking about it - I can't believe I can feel all that and lose it cause she 'slept' with her 'ex' (she said she was telling him about us and ending it) but I guess she doesn't feel the same way, even though she acts and says she does

 

Thanks guys for your advice and help

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