AndrewofNZ Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 Hi all! Just want to start off by saying thank you to anyone who reads/comments on this thread. I'll get straight to the point I've been dating my girlfriend for about five years(We're 21 btw). She's a sweet girl and most people get along with her quite well. In terms of our relationship, its usually been pretty solid. We had some ups and downs, but we always worked through them one way or another. For most of the relationship I have been excited to see her and really cared for her. The past few months however have been almost completely opposite. I don't think of a future with her, get excited messaging her, and often times it feels like a chore to spend time with her. I feel horrible about it because she still feels those excited ways towards me. I don't act rude to her in any way, its more like I put on a mask when I'm with her and that's definitely not okay. She deserves to be with someone who enjoys her company. We have always gotten along though part of me is starting to wonder if I have only been in the relationship as of late because of familiarity and not wanting to hurt her feelings. At this point I probably sound like the biggest jerk. I just think its weird I've felt this way the past few months and wonder if its just me falling out of love or maybe being unappreciative of what I have? If I can't shake this I know I have to end the relationship, but I dont want this to be a pattern in my life. Has anyone been through a similar situation? Is it normal? Thanks again everyone!
PegNosePete Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 You started dating when you were 16. Do you think you both have the same personalities you had back then? No of course you don't, you were just kids then. It's perfectly normal for childhood romances to peter out when you reach adulthood. 2
Gaeta Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 That is exactly like Pegnosepete said. It is normal for high school sweethearts to grow apart. There is a considerable amount of maturing and growing between 16 and 22. Your wants and needs aren't what they used to be. At 16 you did not know what person you would become. This is normal and very common. It may be sad but good byes are part of life. 1
Diezel Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 I think something is missing here. Are you in College? Is there another girl? Have you been out more without her lately? 1
Assasda Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 Yeah, I think something is missing here too. You must be leaving something out. Does she annoy you. is there something that she does that you dont like. Do you not have any free time for youself. Your question is way too vague 1
Author AndrewofNZ Posted July 18, 2014 Author Posted July 18, 2014 Thanks everyone for the replies! Pete & Gaeta: That's sorta along the lines of what I was thinking. I feel its reasonable to feel that way over time, but do you think its a little unfair for me to say that's why I feel like ending it? Are either of you in a long term relationship? If so did you ever experience anything like this with them or is it not common with people who...I guess end up lasting? I just dont want this to be something I do in relationships, but I dont really know without dating more. Diezel & Assasda: Yeah I guess I'm leaving a lot of things out. I'll be a little more descriptive. -I am recently out of college, shes still attending. -There isn't another girl that I am interested in. Though I sometimes wonder if shes right for me sense I've never had a relationship with anyone else before(probably a common thought). -I have been spending more time without her because she goes to school a little further out, but shes been on break so we've been spending a good amount of time together -Like most relationships there are a few things that annoy me. The biggest is she doesn't work on things that I say bother me until she knows I'm really mad. A few examples are me always having to be the one to visit and me telling her I don't like her being friends with someone at her school(she got together with him during a break in our relationship when we first went to college 2years ago). They may seem like a big deal but after we talked them out I noticed a change in her efforts that I was happy with. The issue is even after working through the problems and her explaining how shes excited about a future with me and how much she loves me, I cant express the same feelings. I haven't had that enjoyment of being with her in awhile and I'm afraid that 1) It wont come back 2) That breaking up will hurt her(this terrifies me). I always hear breakups having complicated problems and I feel like that isn't the case in my relationship, I just am sorta checked out. Sorry if that all sounds really immature. I dont know if that helps explain my feelings
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