GoBomb36 Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 How do you find that same feeling you once had? I have a great girlfriend now, and I love her, but it is just different. I was once engaged, but I screwed it up (we won't go there). That connection was unreal. Haven't found that same connection since. Any thoughts? It's making me sleepless at night.
clewless Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 Even with the same person, you can lose that 'feeling' I don't think you can find the same 'feeling' with someone else... You just need to be happy with a 'new' feeling
central Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 Just what feeling are you talking about? Lust, love, infatuation, some combination, or something else? Some potential mates will cause that feeling, and many (most) won't. It almost always fades within 2 years, so don't rely on it to last. If you don't feel this way about someone else, then they may not be right for you. Or, you may feel this and they could still be wrong for you - there may not be high compatibility in enough areas to make a relationship work and last. Ideally, you'll find someone highly compatible who ALSO creates these feelings in you (assuming they're the feelings I think you're talking about!).
GoBlue Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 It would appear that the whole "feeling" thing you described didn't work with your fiance. There is a natural ebb-and-flow to all relationships. To expect that every moment will be joyous and romantic or whatever you desire is unrealistic. It kind of sounds like you are still mourning the loss of the relationship you had with your fiance. If that is the case, it will be hard to move forward until that is resolved within yourself. Have you considered counseling or seeing a Pastor or other third party who could help? I lost my family five years ago because I was a fool. There is not a day that goes by that I am not still suffering from the choices I made. There is healing, however, and the capacity for full recovery. Developing a closer relationship with God has been instrumental in me getting back on my feet. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Blessings!
d0nnivain Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 Whatever you were feeling with one person won't be identical to what you feel with another person. The people & the feelings are different. Instead of trying to fit what you had with your EX into your current relationship, focus on what's unique about this relationship . . . what makes it different? Then celebrate those feelings instead of feeling short changed because you can't fit a square peg in a round hole.
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