Author Tamashi Posted July 16, 2014 Author Posted July 16, 2014 If its his job, how exactly is it a problem to work 6 hours a day? Well he's making money in the game currency called Lindens. And he's told me his 'salary' and from what I've calculated, it converts to only a few US dollars a week. Specially USD $1.50 this week.... He's mentioned he wants to be involved in another aspect of Second Life called Bloodlines, which are basically about vampires. He wants the Lindens to be able to buy in-game items for his vampire clans. I am well aware that people use Second Life as means of earning money in Real Life and that's completely fine with me, as long as it's not making your partner uncomfortable. Bloodlines doesn't make me uncomfortable, but him managing this strip club definitely does. There is a reason why girlfriends in-game are not allowed at the club because it's obvious to me, he has to do all sorts of racy stuff that me as a girlfriend (in-game and Real Life) would not not approve or be comfortable with.
Author Tamashi Posted July 16, 2014 Author Posted July 16, 2014 MsNaush, is he making any real money managing this club in game? Thank you for your reply. He earns in in-game currency called Lindens and this week he earned about USD $1.50 after conversion. 1
Author Tamashi Posted July 16, 2014 Author Posted July 16, 2014 If he's on line for 6 hours a day, does he have a REAL job? No, he doesn't at the moment. He's between jobs... and earning money in-game (Lindens) is purely recreational.
gaius Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 You could always call the employment people and get the club shut down for not paying minimum wage. 7
mammasita Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 It depends - whats the resolution of the strippers? 3
smackie9 Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 I want to know what your true complaint is. Is it the fact he isn't spending time with you? Is he neglecting you? Is it a new thing he is playing for 6 hours everyday or has he always been this way? or is it the fact there are naked women in a game?
somedude81 Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 Thank you for your reply. He earns in in-game currency called Lindens and this week he earned about USD $1.50 after conversion. OK, that's obviously nothing. If he was making a real wage, then it would be OK if he was doing that 6 hours a day because it was a job. But he's not. He's slacking off and neglecting you.
Author Tamashi Posted July 16, 2014 Author Posted July 16, 2014 (edited) I want to know what your true complaint is. Is it the fact he isn't spending time with you? Is he neglecting you? Is it a new thing he is playing for 6 hours everyday or has he always been this way? or is it the fact there are naked women in a game? Thank you for your reply. Is it the fact he isn't spending time with you? Yes, he isn't as much as before. Is he neglecting you? He seems extremely distracted lately and I feel he is using MY time to pursue this interest of his. And when he's not on the PC, he often talks about all the 'drama' that happened at the club. Is it a new thing he is playing for 6 hours everyday or has he always been this way? He is a gamer, and usually he wouldn't play more for than 3-4 hours, and around that time I don't bother him. or is it the fact there are naked women in a game? Naked women made up of 0s and 1s don't really bother me to be honest. It's the nature of involvement at the strip club that is the problem. He's mentioned his duties include to train new hosts and strippers (how to strip obviously), and to role-play with strippers as if he is a customer in various situations. He has to be flirty with all the female customers as a host and manager. I know enough 'racy' stuff happens there to ban the involvement and entrance of a girlfriend (in-game and Real Life) at the club. So yes, he is excluding me in-game, and he is neglecting me in Real Life, and the fact it's at a strip club is just pushing it too far in my opinion. Edited July 16, 2014 by MsNaush
serial muse Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 Thank you for your reply. Is it the fact he isn't spending time with you? Yes, he isn't as much as before. Is he neglecting you? He seems extremely distracted lately and I feel he is using MY time to pursue this interest of his. And when he's not on the PC, he often talks about all the 'drama' that happened at the club. Is it a new thing he is playing for 6 hours everyday or has he always been this way? He is a gamer, and usually he wouldn't play more for than 3-4 hours, and around that time I don't bother him. or is it the fact there are naked women in a game? Naked women made up of 0s and 1s don't really bother me to be honest. It's the nature of involvement at the strip club that is the problem. He's mentioned his duties include to train new hosts and strippers, and to role-play with strippers as if he is a customer in various situations. He has to be flirty with all the female customers as a host and manager. I know enough 'racy' stuff happens there to ban the involvement and entrance of a girlfriend (in-game and Real Life) at the club. So yes, he is excluding me in-game, and he is neglecting me in Real Life, and the fact it's at a strip club is just pushing it too far in my opinion. Yeah, I think the fact that he's spending all that time online in a place you're not "allowed" (although you could create a male persona that he wouldn't know about...but why bother, honestly, you know everything you need to know already), while pulling away from you, using his time online to virtually flirt with (or more?) women online, and racking up more online-only money in order to spend still more time online => take a permanent break from this guy. I think it's worth asking yourself at this point what you're getting out of the relationship. Doesn't sound like much. 4
Diezel Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 The thread title really is asking the wrong question.
ExpatInItaly Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 What are his future ambitions? In terms of getting a job, I mean. (What he is doing now is not a job - he does not earn a sustainable income from it at all) How long has he been "between" jobs, and is he actively searching for a new one? Does he go to interviews, employment agencies, make calls? It is very troubling that he's giving up time with you to play games on the internet. He talks about dramas at the club? Bloody hell, OP. This boy's ability to distinguish between reality and fantasy is quickly diminishing. As others said, take a break if you want but be prepared to walk away for good. 2
Els Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 If its his job, how exactly is it a problem to work 6 hours a day? I'm well aware that a select few people do make (good) money from online games - heck the recent International Dota tourney has a $10 million prize - but this is not the case for 99.9999999% of online game players, so I'm not sure why you would jump to that conclusion immediately. For the record, a select few people also make decent money taking selfies/videos of themselves and posting it on the internet, but I'm pretty sure that wouldn't be your first response to a male poster writing about his wife spending 6 hours a day on Facebook and Youtube. At any rate the OP has clarified that he does not make any significant income from it, so the point is moot.
Els Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 Thank you for your reply. Is it the fact he isn't spending time with you? Yes, he isn't as much as before. Is he neglecting you? He seems extremely distracted lately and I feel he is using MY time to pursue this interest of his. And when he's not on the PC, he often talks about all the 'drama' that happened at the club. Is it a new thing he is playing for 6 hours everyday or has he always been this way? He is a gamer, and usually he wouldn't play more for than 3-4 hours, and around that time I don't bother him. or is it the fact there are naked women in a game? Naked women made up of 0s and 1s don't really bother me to be honest. It's the nature of involvement at the strip club that is the problem. He's mentioned his duties include to train new hosts and strippers (how to strip obviously), and to role-play with strippers as if he is a customer in various situations. He has to be flirty with all the female customers as a host and manager. I know enough 'racy' stuff happens there to ban the involvement and entrance of a girlfriend (in-game and Real Life) at the club. So yes, he is excluding me in-game, and he is neglecting me in Real Life, and the fact it's at a strip club is just pushing it too far in my opinion. The guy is clearly addicted - and I'm not even saying this from the viewpoint of someone who is traditional and knows nothing about online games. I dabbled in Second Life several years ago, though I didn't really get into it. And my SO and I game together for an hour or so most days - we've been doing so for years now. I still think your bf's behaviour is unacceptable. IMO you need to leave him unless he's prepared to change, even if that change requires professional help.
MikeyBe Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 So yes, he is excluding me in-game, and he is neglecting me in Real Life, and the fact it's at a strip club is just pushing it too far in my opinion. Sounds like an interesting relationship. From what you describe, the only thing that makes sense to me as the cause for the change in your BF's behavior is this: My boyfriend is between jobs at the moment so he is just sitting around all day, unfortunately. Maybe he's depressed or maybe he's just lazy?
TigerLilly78 Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 As a person who use to be heavily into SL for years I will tell you a few things OP first off "Second life" is not a game heck most gamers wouldn't consider it a game its a on line social site. Its basically a very interactive chat room with explicit interactive adult content. In my experiences people go there to lose themselves or try to find/fix something they are lacking in first life. Basically when you are truly happy and even some what adjusted in RL you simply don't need SL! Now far as that club I can for one say he will not be making any cash on it if anything clubs/strip clubs are a money pit and cost the owners more then they will ever make back in there. They do it for the social interaction running a club gives them that's all being a strip club maybe the sexual stimulation as well never know as SL is a haven for sex on all levels.. So yeah most are def not even close to making a living in SL especially since SL has started to decline over the last few years as well its boom days are well behind it. Yes as some said you can make money but that's far and few between and limited to the land barons or the very successful creators/builders and even allot of them are closing up shops in SL for various reasons. Now what im going to say next may frighten you as it should cause while the avatars are virtual in SL the people behind them are quite real and as so the bonds made there can be quite real and intense. That said in my opinion if your relationship is not going that great and your partner turned to second life? The bad news is hes prob got some one ether partnered or lined up to with in the world that's why he no longer has time for you. I've seen it 1st hand time and again second life helping to put the finial nail in the coffin of strained relationships. Let me guess hes kind of secretive about his actions in SL?lately..and gets annoyed when you bother him while hes in world? The club is just one small part of a entire virtual world hes now immersed in new friends new surroundings and sadly prob new love as well if not yet then it will happen if given enough time. And don't think that given enough time and opportunity a virtual "partner" cannot turn into a RL one cause it can and dose off of there I've also seen that a few times as well both good and bad.. I personally gave up SL as it brought more sorrow to me then joy in the end. While I was lost in there I saw to many people hurt and some just totally lose themselves in that place not to mention seeing the RL consequences SL can bring it was frighting and woke me up to all of it. Don't get me wrong I met some awesome people in there that I still consider friends to this day but im glad im out cause im a much happier person for it. Like I said SL is were they go to fix or find so witch is it for your BF OP? cause the club is not the true issue but I think you know that already the SL addiction your BF is starting to give into is the true prob.. At this point OP you have a choice you can ether let him continue and slowly destroy whats left of your relationship or you can stand up and say no you ether stop it or im leaving! That said im just going to be honest here be prepared to leave cause once this SL obsession starts its rarely a happy ending for those involved on the sidelines..im sorry I wish I had something better to say but unless you can pull hum back to reality you will lose him.. 1
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