JustSomeGuyHere Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 Or just try to forget and move on? Does talking to people about the pain/situation/etc help you process it or keep you stuck in the past? All thoughts appreciated.
Dontfindme Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 I, personally, need to talk about it to really accept it, and absorb the opinions of my friends/family, and give the break up time to sink in. But eventually, I tire myself out with all the talking, where I no longer even want to think about it - which helps me get over the breakup.
Elle1975 Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 I don't talk about it with my friends. My gf hates the guy and is super negative no matter what I say. His best friend and I talked about it but he's so close to him that I can't handle it, so I don't talk about it with him either. I just processed it on my own. Coming on LS was helpful too. I actually made a friend through LS.
marcjb Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 If you mean talking about your ex with family and friends in regards to coping with a breakup, then yes. It's never good to keep things inside. If you feel the need to talk about your ex randomly without being asked by a new partner in a mutual conversation, then chances are you are not ready for a new relationship yet.
Simon Phoenix Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 I think in the short-term its OK and therapeutic but becomes destructive in the long term. Not only does it annoy the piss out of your friends and family, but you end up ruminating and rehashing the same things over and over and tend to stay stuck if you keep talking about the same things over and over.
Simon Phoenix Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 If you mean talking about your ex with family and friends in regards to coping with a breakup, then yes. It's never good to keep things inside. If you feel the need to talk about your ex randomly without being asked by a new partner in a mutual conversation, then chances are you are not ready for a new relationship yet. If you are talking about your ex when you're on a date with someone else you definitely do not deserve to be on a date with that person again. That's just weird. 1
marcjb Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 (edited) If you are talking about your ex when you're on a date with someone else you definitely do not deserve to be on a date with that person again. That's just weird. Recently, I was introduced to someone by my cousin who is friends with his fiancé at work. He told me that she was interested in meeting me. I figured sure, it can't hurt. No need to rush into anything though. So I didn't want to meet her until the four of us could do a double date type of scenario. We didn't get to actually set a time and place until about a month later. In the meantime I just texted with her. During that time she brought up her ex once while texting, and then on the date she also brought him up. As far as I know they ended their relationship last October. Huge turn off. My relationship ended with my ex fiancé about 3 months ago now, yet I was able to not bring it up. I don't understand why people feel the need to do this. She definitely isn't my type. Edited July 16, 2014 by marcjb
David87 Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 I guess its not a bad thing as long as you don't exaggerate. The reason why i joined Ls was not to botter my friends with my problems, because at some point it becomes annoying.
Simon Phoenix Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 Recently, I was introduced to someone by my cousin who is friends with his fiancé at work. He told me that she was interested in meeting me. I figured sure, it can't hurt. No need to rush into anything though. So I didn't want to meet her until the four of us could do a double date type of scenario. We didn't get to actually set a time and place until about a month later. In the meantime I just texted with her. During that time she brought up her ex once while texting, and then on the date she also brought him up. As far as I know they ended their relationship last October. Huge turn off. My relationship ended with my ex fiancé about 3 months ago now, yet I was able to not bring it up. I don't understand why people feel the need to do this. She definitely isn't my type. I did it once on purpose to a girl I was on a first date with that I didn't like because she was obnoxious, but otherwise yeah, that is a turn off. The only reason to ever talk about exes is if a) you are asked and b) if it's good-natured fun poking. For example, on a date with the ex that brought me here (this was 8-10 dates in) she showed me a picture of an absurd tattoo that one of her exes' had -- she had him text it to her as we were drinking so I could see it -- and I told her a ridiculous story about a girl I had slept with in the past that had a stupid tattoo. Both were good-natured stories and weren't told until we had developed a foundation.
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