avacado Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 Some people are rich, some are poor, and some are in the middle. Often, love bonds people together who make very different amounts of money. How do you deal with that? The way I was raised, you don't get other people to pay for you. My last girlfriend made very little money but she still insisted on paying for herself and even giving to the poor, and I was so touched by this that I went out of my way to do nice thins for her. Current girl is great in many ways, but she puts very little effort into even pretending to want to pay. She'll suggest that we go out to eat, or even get groceries to eat in, and I'll wind up paying. I'm not a confrontational person so I just try and ignore it. But it does bother me. I even drive us everywhere because she doesn't drive, and she doesn't seem to understand that gas costs money. Hell, I'd ride my bike everywhere instead of asking someone to drive me. 1
carhill Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 Is there a substantial difference in income between you and current girlfriend?
mrs rubble Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 When she suggests going out to eat next, tell her it's her turn to pay. If she spit's the dummy, you know she's a selfish greedy cow. Stingy-ness and entitlement are two quailities that I don't accept.
JungleLover Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 OP, what your described about your GF is a major turn off to me. I do well financially and I expect to pay for most dates and it is no problem for me to do so but I am really turned off by my dates who assume I will always pay. It is a nice gesture to simply offer to pay for something, maybe even the tip. I just became exclusive with a woman I am dating and one of the things that really impressed me about her that she consistently insists to pick up the bill or pay part of it even though I make much more than her. She brings me gifts and every thing. The other person I was dating would always just sit back and say nothing. Even when she offered to take me out, she would find a reason to back out and just chill at my house or just watch as I picked up the tab. While it didn't really hurt my pocketbook and she overall seemed like a decent, person, that stuck out in my mind and counted against her significantly when I had to decide which one I wanted to have an exclusive relationship with.
melodicintention Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 You didn't really explain about the current girls income being less than yours but regardless of how much she makes, she sounds like she expects you to pay all the time. A lady could be rich and still expect the guy to pay all the time. How to deal with it? Well you have a couple of choices. #1 Suck it up, don't say anything and continue paying. #2 Dump her. #3 Confront her and say "hey, I'm tired of paying all the time. You need to ante up this time." Then if she can't/won't pay, decide if the relationship is worth pursuing further and take action accordingly.
maysj18 Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 Money complicates things so much. It seems like there is no "right" way, you know? Those who don't pay enough are stingy and those who pay too much can make me uncomfortable. For someone else it could be entirely different. :/ My rule for early dating: take turns paying on nights when you do dinner/movie and always EXPECT to cover dates that were your idea. If I want to see a movie, I'll pay, but at the same time I don't reach for my wallet if it was my boyfriend's idea. We've been together forever and we both are really generous and comfortable so things aren't so methodical anymore but this system always worked for me.
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