silvermercy Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 "Some guys are just wimps and wusses about sex and I bet you were probably one of those guys who had to use your right hand more often than you would have liked right? Or should I say left?" Uhm, wow, that was a super inappropriate thing to say to you. She sounds rude and defensive. I'd be more concerned with this then the numbers. Does she often speak to you like that? Yeah. I'd be even more concerned with that. OP, did you insult her before this? Or was this a pure defence reaction after mentioning her number? If it was the latter, I'd be worried. 1
Author Trane Posted July 16, 2014 Author Posted July 16, 2014 Yeah. I'd be even more concerned with that. OP, did you insult her before this? Or was this a pure defence reaction after mentioning her number? If it was the latter, I'd be worried. At the time I can't totally remember but I think it was more reactionary after telling me about her sexual excursions with her girlfriends. Perhaps I might have insulted her with the shocked looked on my face after prying her number out of her.
Author Trane Posted July 16, 2014 Author Posted July 16, 2014 I dotn know abotu other women with high counts, but to me when i am with soemone , all others pale into nothing......because sex between two people is actually just that the person you are with and you how two bodies mind spirit and heart fit together are completely different ...ex to me comes actually from my spirit.....not from my body if i make love to someone regardless of how many i have had "sex with" i am making love to that guy that time that place and i am in the moment not in my past.......positions are nto important all i can bring to the table is love and a knowledge of sex ....its how i can please a guy and then a guy getting to know how to please me....and it changes ...depending on who i am with...with all the sex i have had there are certain things that only had two lovers that i have let do to me.....i have made things special.....and i think that most women who have high sex counts would hold off on certain things .......i dont know ...maybe its just me.....but there are ways to make love and there are ways to have sex...both are different i would not worry about pleasing a woman with a high sex count....if she loves you to me.....its always going to be a pleasure to make love to you.....deb Easier to say but not always easy to digest when you consider all the societal brainwashing. Stud status for some guys means that her number is never higher than his. At the same I believe society treats sexually liberated women and those ladies with high number of partners unfairly. Definitely not in the same light as men. 1
leavesonautumn Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 Easier to say but not always easy to digest when you consider all the societal brainwashing. Stud status for some guys means that her number is never higher than his. At the same I believe society treats sexually liberated women and those ladies with high number of partners unfairly. Definitely not in the same light as men. My advice is to not let yourself get caught up in the brainwashing. Decide what it is that you want. She went through a wild time but it doesn't mean she is going to cheat or leave you. She's chosing to have sex with you. However, you did mention that the sex is just good. Would you be able to live with that? Some people don't think sex is as important in a relationship as other things but for some it is. You had a fight and some things were said. If it's not a common thing and a result of this particular argument then you may want to clear that up as well. You don't want that argument hanging over you two if you decide to stay together. 2
BlueIris Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 Easier to say but not always easy to digest when you consider all the societal brainwashing. Stud status for some guys means that her number is never higher than his. At the same I believe society treats sexually liberated women and those ladies with high number of partners unfairly. Definitely not in the same light as men. Yeah, well… and some men are especially miffed if a woman beats them on a golf hole, or makes more money than they do, or knows the answer to a question they don’t, or any number of things. But not all men! What are you (meaning, women) gonna do? Just don’t date those men, and for heaven’s sake don’t marry them! And maybe some change over time. Maybe not. 2
ascendotum Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 It just progressed into a mini-fight and I guess she wasn't taking to kindly about my reaction to her number when she told me. You have the issue of high numbers which some guys will or wont be phased by, but there is also the other aspect of her being in gangbangs that would phase plenty of bfs from a different aspect. Lots of guys might not make an issue out of it but would not make her a serious long term gf/wife, and would just try and enjoy a fun/freaky sex life with her for a while like all the guys before. I have to give her kudos for embracing her promiscuity, and not being ashamed of her past and refuse to even mention it. She was freaky and stands by it, which many don't. On the other hand her shaming comment to you, about being a wuss & wanker for not clocking up big numbers, is really crappy. I have a friend who had an ex make a similar comment about her wild past like, 'well you should have met me & my friends back in our dirty girl days then', but the reality was he said looking at photos of her when she in her early 20s at clubs/parties with her friends all glamed up and in super tight/skimpy clothes, he said no way would she would have had sex with him then.
todreaminblue Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 Easier to say but not always easy to digest when you consider all the societal brainwashing. Stud status for some guys means that her number is never higher than his. At the same I believe society treats sexually liberated women and those ladies with high number of partners unfairly. Definitely not in the same light as men. I have no excuses for my past just reasons and i have paid double for it......in many ways......my past put me in a situation of rape so yeah i paid for my past.....i knwo what people might say reading that./.......but the truth was a lot of men seen me as sub human...they treated me as such....and to a certain degree i had to be numb to judgments from men.....i still am i expect bad and rejoice when i get understood..... i think guys need to stop with the status thing and not see a woman for sex or abotu sex ...thats where danger comes in......you are more than just about sex no matter how many times you have it...... .....i think in all fairness.....people who judge have the right to do so in regards whether they can or find that person with a high sex count a suitable match and its always better to walk away than harbor resentment...that's why i am honest from the beginning...i give that chance for them to walk away i dont hide...nor should i have to hide........deb 1
Priv Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 Well... "Don't blame me because you weren't getting any when I was giving it out. It's not my fault that I was getting laid and having a lot more bedroom fun than you!" "Some guys are just wimps and wusses about sex and I bet you were probably one of those guys who had to use your right hand more often than you would have liked right? Or should I say left?" She certainly isn't accepting of your past. 4
ThaWholigan Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 (edited) OP, she sounds awful. I wouldn't want a gf that says obviously mean things about me and calls me a wimp for choosing not to be promiscuous. I could care less about her promiscuous past but her meanness to you shows a really hurtful side. Why are you with someone this awful to you? I wouldn't say this to a stranger let alone my lover. I have to agree with this - while I appreciate high levels of banter from girls, that's quite vicious. Edited July 16, 2014 by ThaWholigan 2
BlueIris Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 (edited) Yeah, what you described in that post at the end of page 3 is much worse than the original post. She IS terrible. I would have been so appalled by that, I probably wouldn’t have even remembered the quote in the first post! She’s awful. But take heart that NOT ALL people, or women since that’s the focus here, with lots of sexual experience are judgey, taunting or insulting. As GrumpybutFun described, in my experience, people who have likely had the most access and sex have had their act together and are not in any way judgey, taunting or insulting. (Maybe because mean judgey people aren’t going to be in very high demand as lovers or partners- right?) Strangely, I haven’t once in my life heard anyone talk about numbers or ask about people’s sex history. But if you HAVE to talk about it, I think everyone should come up with a really good number. Then you don’t have to count people as sex notches and the pressure’s off. Make it 99! Then there’s a pressing incentive! I suggest everyone pick 99. Or maybe 11 if you’re shy, then you’re going for an even dozen. But 99 is sexier for women, with the “Get Smart” reference- very sexy. I can’t help but remember this line in an old song about folks who talk about their sex lives: “Most of the time they’re sitting and crying at home.” So take sex talk with a grain of salt. Edited July 17, 2014 by BlueIris 2
kaylan Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 (edited) OK, for all who are interested. Conversation at the time started after she told me that she crossed paths with a few of her ex-boyfriends from different times in her life. I asked her when she dated these guys and she told me that most of them were were F-buddies from her wild and crazy high school and college days. She told me she had quite a few of them into between a couple long term relationships. It didn't really bother me at first because I had casual relationships too, mostly during my university days. What struck a minor chord with me was when she told me that she and her girlfriends during these years were super horny, super curious and passed guys around to each other like cigarettes and candy. Lots and lots and lots of meaningless fun sex in her words which included 3somes and 4somes with guys only. She then asked me what my number was and I told her. She paused, and then refused to tell me hers because she said it was a lot higher than mine. Gee, why wasn't I surprised LOL! I had to pry it out of her and yes, it was a whole lot higher than mine. Scary higher. Still don't think she was being totally honest with me too. I then asked her when she had time to have all that sex, and I remember her saying this. "Some guys are just wimps and wusses about sex and I bet you were probably one of those guys who had to use your right hand more often than you would have liked right? Or should I say left?" Dump this disrespectful low quality woman. Wow. Her behavior and attitude doesnt make me think she would be the most loyal. I can just see it now....if she cheated or decided to monkey branch to a different guy one day...can you imagine the nasty blaming language you'd get? No way in hell Id let a woman whos been around the block a lot to shame me for not behaving the same way. If you're a wimp for not getting involved in gangbangs and high levels of promiscuity, what is she for spreading her legs for so many men, and even multiple men at the same time? No reason for you to overlook her ugly past when she feels its ok to shame you for yours. And the sex isnt even great? She got all that practice for nothing? You most certainly can find a better woman OP. There is no "the past is the past" when this chick is acting the way she is. Edited July 17, 2014 by kaylan 1
GravityMan Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 "Don't blame me because you weren't getting any when I was giving it out. It's not my fault that I was getting laid and having a lot more bedroom fun than you!" "Some guys are just wimps and wusses about sex and I bet you were probably one of those guys who had to use your right hand more often than you would have liked right? Or should I say left?" Holy sh*t. Especially the second quote. Trane, you might want to give some serious thought to whether you want to remain in this relationship. There are many better women out there. I think any man with decent self-respect would have likely ended the relationship right then and there. They wouldn't put up with that crap. 5
Grumpybutfun Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 OK, for all who are interested. "Some guys are just wimps and wusses about sex and I bet you were probably one of those guys who had to use your right hand more often than you would have liked right? Or should I say left?" Trane, this is further unkindness. I can't speculate why anyone would keep saying horrid things to their bf regardless of deflection, shame or denial. However, at this point communication is hurtful and this isn't how someone who cares for you treats you. Time to move on, find someone more compatible and kind to you. Good luck, Grumps 6
ChessPieceFace Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 If she's that insensitive toward your feelings and defensive about her immoral behavior, wouldn't be a keeper in my book. 3
Kcame30 Posted July 18, 2014 Posted July 18, 2014 What really snapped everything into focus and made me grow up quicker as a man was accepting the reality that I had no right to judge what I was NOT a part of. Her past is her past. It's not mine. You're right, you have no right to judge but other men will still do it. Mine are in the double digits. I ALWAYS lie about my number. Why? Because it's nobody damn business but mine that's why. Usually, this topic is hardly brought up for discussion. I tell them my magic number is 3 if they ever ask.
ascendotum Posted July 18, 2014 Posted July 18, 2014 You're right, you have no right to judge but other men will still do it. Mine are in the double digits. I ALWAYS lie about my number. Why? Because it's nobody damn business but mine that's why. Usually, this topic is hardly brought up for discussion. I tell them my magic number is 3 if they ever ask. Deceiveyour bfs, okay, but don't complain when they deceive you about something, and say they well they made the decision that it wasn't your business so what did it matter if they lied to you. Fair is fair. If he doesn't like the real you, then he's not right for you, and you can find someone who is computable, rather dupe them to suit your wants/needs. As much as your say people have not right to judge (shyte it goes on all the time on here on 98% of pages), people can say back, you have no right to say they cant do it or you can't tell them what to decide is important or not.
Biscous Posted July 19, 2014 Posted July 19, 2014 "Some guys are just wimps and wusses about sex and I bet you were probably one of those guys who had to use your right hand more often than you would have liked right? Or should I say left?" Shaming is a tool women use against men, so why not call a spade a spade with women? haha That's a bit mean spirited. I have a low number myself, and entered the dating game late. I'm not a wimp about sex at all. I really don't entertain the number thing honestly though as it has no bearing on our relationship, unless emotional or sexual issues come later. The way she comes off though, I wouldn't continue anything further with her.
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