Cjr1981 Posted July 15, 2014 Posted July 15, 2014 I'm a 32 year old male, I've been dealing wit this for awhile and without someone close to talk to, I've decided to post here I started dating this girl 5 months ago, who I met through a friend. The relationship moved very fast. It was almost magical how well we got along, the sex was out of this world. This girl fit my type I've always been looking for, 5'1 a buck twenty and a witty, amazing personality to boot. Needless to say I was head over heals for this girl, still am. I didn't have feelings anywhere close to this when I was dating my ex for 4 years. Something felt so right about her. Things were great. Until, I went away for the weekend with the boys and got all drunk, did cocaine add in lack of sleep and I was in a terrible mindset. I've only done cocaine a few times but never had a bad experience like I did. BasicAlly I found out that she made a pass at one of my friends BEFORE we were dating. I know it shouldn't of pissed me off but it did, because she told me a white lie that she did so it probably wouldn't hurt my feelings. Whatever. I basically text raged her, said some awful things, things that made her hurt bad. I guess I felt hurt so, immaturely, it a bad state of mind at 4am I let loose. When I got back I saw her, she was devistated, as was I. She broke up with me as expected. Said she needed time. I gave it to her and a week later we got back together. 3 weeks pass, and things are good she cones out of nowhere and tells me she's not feeling it, she can't shake what happened. So I gave her space. I must add she has been unhappy with her job and thinks she's fat which is crazy talk. She's so beautiful. Then we still talk via text, she says it's over one following Sunday . I tell her Ill always be here for you, how much I care blah blah.. 5 hours later she shows up at my place crying, not about us but sbout life in general. She confides in me, we have sex.. For the next week and a half she's acting like my gf again all the tell tale signs were there, I never asked her about getting official or anything just kind of went for it . Great sex again for another week. Then boom, a tuesday hits and she tells me for the third time the same thing she told me the first time we broke up. You can imagine my confusion. My emotions are like a roller coaster. So comes the weekend, I'm going out with my buds ( I live 30 min away from the city) she finds out that I'm going through a mutual friend. She offers her place for me to crash (while she's out of town). I accepted only to realize the next morning what a mistake it was for me to be there, it hurt so bad to be there and her not. And to boot, it's her birthday weekend which I'm not a part of, but she tells me everything she's up to. Which hurt like a bitch cause I'm not with her. So she goes out the following Sunday with work friends.. I get a text 1:45 am to pick her up from the bar. Obv I run like a bitch to get her. She was too drunk to walk home so naturally I took care of her. We wake up in the morning chat a bit and she basically hints at kicking me out. Says she doesn't wanna give the wrong impression. So now I'm mind blown, this girl is up and down like the gas price. I can't change what I did, seems like she's not going to forgive. At one point she was talking marriage and children and all those things. She told me that last morning that she was crazy about me and now she doesn't feel the same... I'm confused. I know I need to let her go, it's so hard knowing I found the girl of my dreams and threw it away. She has the huge upperhand, it's not a challenge for her to get me.. I can't bear to imagine her sleeping with another guy. I'm def in a depression over this girl. Not sure why she's doing this. I told her we can't be friends. That won't work. Can't let go. Dream about her, I'm just effed.
SoThatHappened Posted July 15, 2014 Posted July 15, 2014 (edited) Not being a "Richard Head" here, man, but it sounds like you both need to take a step back, grow up, and really assess things. You messed up for sure. Maybe that's what created the "wall" for her. Can't blame her. However, if you care about her and truly believe she can be the one, fix yourself. Never do that crap again. If possible, show her how genuine you are. A lot of people preach NC, but you're the one who initiated the problems. If you really, truly, genuinely want to be with this girl, move mountains to do it and show her that. Otherwise, move on and let her move on. Edited July 15, 2014 by SoThatHappened 1
Author Cjr1981 Posted July 15, 2014 Author Posted July 15, 2014 I took full responsibility for what happened. I don't blame her. I've explained why I think I did what I did, there's nothing left to be said regarding that. There has been 2 months since the first breakup that this has been going on, and she really does flip flop. But after this weekend I just realized that there is nothing I can do to change how she feels. So I deleted her #. Now just going to have to move on. Absolutely kills me I'm sleeping 12 hours or not sleeping for two days. How can a woman effect me so much? It's just unreal.
SoThatHappened Posted July 15, 2014 Posted July 15, 2014 Man, I hate that limbo... don't know what to tell you. If you've done everything possible on your end, (and I believe you if you have but you have to know in your heart that you have), then let her go. Not easy, but necessary. If you haven't done everything, then do it. You screwed up. Guess what? We all screw up! I've screwed up more times than I care to count. I've also forgiven someone that has screwed up many times (sans cheating). Again, if you have nothing left to prove or try to fix, drop it. Let it go. It sounds like it's not on horrible terms so there's a chance of something down the line. But, if you've got nothing left, let her go and move on without hope. That's the only way to move on, whether or not you want her back.
Author Cjr1981 Posted July 15, 2014 Author Posted July 15, 2014 I've said everything I can say.. She doesn't see me as the same person. Not sure what else I can do but completely remove myself from her life. Very hard to do, I've never been happier ever when I was with her. Tough pill to swallow. Thanks for the advice man
SoThatHappened Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 I've said everything I can say.. She doesn't see me as the same person. Not sure what else I can do but completely remove myself from her life. Very hard to do, I've never been happier ever when I was with her. Tough pill to swallow. Thanks for the advice man Dang, I was hoping there was something left for you to be able to do. That definitely is a tough pill to swallow and I feel for ya. Hopefully some time apart will help her realize. I guess that's all you can hope for at this point. I have a good feeling you'll hear from her again. Her head might just be swimming right now, especially if she really cared about you. If you've done all you can, then the ball is in her court. You seem to have learned from any mistakes and made amends in your life and lifestyle. This helps your chances of reconciliation more than anything. I guess it's NC until she makes the move. I'm sure that will come soon
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