Cjr1981 Posted July 15, 2014 Posted July 15, 2014 I'm a 32 year old male, I've been dealing wit this for awhile and without someone close to talk to, I've decided to post here I started dating this girl 5 months ago, who I met through a friend. The relationship moved very fast. It was almost magical how well we got along, the sex was out of this world. This girl fit my type I've always been looking for, 5'1 a buck twenty and a witty, amazing personality to boot. Needless to say I was head over heals for this girl, still am. I didn't have feelings anywhere close to this when I was dating my ex for 4 years. Something felt so right about her. Things were great. Until, I went away for the weekend with the boys and got all drunk, did cocaine add in lack of sleep and I was in a terrible mindset. I've only done cocaine a few times but never had a bad experience like I did. BasicAlly I found out that she made a pass at one of my friends BEFORE we were dating. I know it shouldn't of pissed me off but it did, because she told me a white lie that she did so it probably wouldn't hurt my feelings. Whatever. I basically text raged her, said some awful things, things that made her hurt bad. I guess I felt hurt so, immaturely, it a bad state of mind at 4am I let loose. When I got back I saw her, she was devistated, as was I. She broke up with me as expected. Said she needed time. I gave it to her and a week later we got back together. 3 weeks pass, and things are good she cones out of nowhere and tells me she's not feeling it, she can't shake what happened. So I gave her space. I must add she has been unhappy with her job and thinks she's fat which is crazy talk. She's so beautiful. Then we still talk via text, she says it's over one following Sunday . I tell her Ill always be here for you, how much I care blah blah.. 5 hours later she shows up at my place crying, not about us but sbout life in general. She confides in me, we have sex.. For the next week and a half she's acting like my gf again all the tell tale signs were there, I never asked her about getting official or anything just kind of went for it . Great sex again for another week. Then boom, a tuesday hits and she tells me for the third time the same thing she told me the first time we broke up. You can imagine my confusion. My emotions are like a roller coaster. So comes the weekend, I'm going out with my buds ( I live 30 min away from the city) she finds out that I'm going through a mutual friend. She offers her place for me to crash (while she's out of town). I accepted only to realize the next morning what a mistake it was for me to be there, it hurt so bad to be there and her not. And to boot, it's her birthday weekend which I'm not a part of, but she tells me everything she's up to. Which hurt like a bitch cause I'm not with her. So she goes out the following Sunday with work friends.. I get a text 1:45 am to pick her up from the bar. Obv I run like a bitch to get her. She was too drunk to walk home so naturally I took care of her. We wake up in the morning chat a bit and she basically hints at kicking me out. Says she doesn't wanna give the wrong impression. So now I'm mind blown, this girl is up and down like the gas price. I can't change what I did, seems like she's not going to forgive. At one point she was talking marriage and children and all those things. She told me that last morning that she was crazy about me and now she doesn't feel the same... I'm confused. I know I need to let her go, it's so hard knowing I found the girl of my dreams and threw it away. She has the huge upperhand, it's not a challenge for her to get me.. I can't bear to imagine her sleeping with another guy. I'm def in a depression over this girl. Not sure why she's doing this. I told her we can't be friends. That won't work. Can't let go. Dream about her, I'm just effed.
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